Hi all I'm new here, so let me tell you a little about myself. I am 23 yrs old. And I have been with my BF whom is also 23yrs old for 2yrs now. About 8mo. ago he lied to me about a phone call he got saying it was from a friend out of town, and it turned out it was from a women here in town, I was upset at him for lying to me thinking if it was nothing then why lie about it? But I let it go and moved on. Then he started lying to me about small things, where he was going when why things like that, I just brushed it off thinking it was nothing. he is always telling me that he wants to marry me. Well then it happened. On Feb 11th 2004 He went to buy me a gift for V-day and while buying it he picked up the sales women. got her number called here and took her to lunch 2days later. I found out on V-day I was making a phone call from his cellphone and while looking for the number in it that I had recently dialed I found a number I didn't recognize so I called it. and a women answered. she told me all aobut what had happend. Even though they did not sleep together. I am still very worried that it may happend again, I don't know if I am supposed ot just brush this one off. I have tried in the past few months to just forget about it and move on but I think about it every day! please help. I'm lost.

Hrd2Frgv,

Dating is a testing period to determine if the other person is a good marriage choice. It sounds like he is not a good choice, unless you are looking for a man who is dishonest and doesn't believe in fidelity. Believe me, marriage will not change him, it will most likely make him WORSE. One of the biggest mistakes women make is they foolishly believe they can CHANGE their spouse....THEY CAN'T.

So, if you are looking for a dishonest man who is not committed to you and doesn't believe in fidelity, then you have your man. If you want better, then I would suggest you find someone more suitable.

And you should thank your lucky stars that you found all this out BEFORE you married him and had kids. Can you imagine going through all this with 3 little kids and a mortgage? Because that is your future if you stay with him.

<small>[ May 16, 2004, 10:52 AM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Ooooh, this not look good.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Hrd2Forgiv:
<strong> About 8mo. ago he lied to me about a phone call he got saying it was from a friend out of town, and it turned out it was from a women here in town, I was upset at him for lying to me thinking if it was nothing then why lie about it? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because it probably WAS something and he was cheating/thinking of cheating on you with her.

<strong> Then he started lying to me about small things, where he was going ..... </strong>

Classic cheater stuff, my dear.

<strong>....I just brushed it off thinking it was nothing. he is always telling me that he wants to marry me. </strong>

Classic betrayed stuff. We believe them because we know how much they love us and how they would never do anything to hurt us. We just know it.

<strong>Well then it happened. </strong>

I'm afraid it has been happening all along. Whether he slept with these women or not is beside the point. He is being unfaithful.

<strong>I am still very worried that it may happend again. </strong>

I'd say your worry is founded. You won't have peace in this relationship any longer. His lies and continued lying will prevent that. Please, you are young. Your life is ahead of you. Do not tie yourself down to a man who has already proven himself of being unworthy of you.

As me old mother used to say, "there are plenty of fish in the sea."