WS occasionally (very rarely) tells me he loves me. So how do I know if he truly means it or that when he does say it is just because he feels he has to or because he wants something or whatever? I know he tells OW he loves her too. It makes me want to throw up. And do I say I love him? I don't want to appear desperate nor do I want him to think I accept his relationship with OW. Right now she is pregnant and his loyalities seem to be with her. He will be in jail for awhile due to his recent car accident. I doubt she will get to visit him because of her being on probation and she was once arrested for drugs. So, do I believe him when he says I Love You or do I just overlook it. And what do I do?

Whew! As they say in the south, "Bless your heart". It's hard to accept an "I love you" when you know that it's been said to the OW, too. Especially when she's pregnant!

I wish I could give you some advice. I really have none, but want you to know that I'm praying for you. Someone more experienced in this than I needs to step forward and help you. Hang in there!

WH2B tells me he loves me. He also told OW. I believe he loves me, and doesnt love her. I can just feel it. What is your gut feeling when he says it?

I am sorry about your situation. Please stay strong.

Hi Cyn,

I truly beleive mine loves me and loves her. he says he is in love with me but not her. When he threatened to leave he said he could fall in love with her. I think maybe he is with me because he is in love with me, or maybe it is just for the free ride I give him because I always feel sorry for him. Sometimes I do not know? Time will tell.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cyn1018:
<strong> And do I say I love him? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cyn...have to ask, do you love him?

If yes, then tell him. My H unconditional love was one of the things that helped me end A with OM. JMHO. xoxo

Do I love him? Yes, with all my heart and soul. That's what makes this so damned difficult!

Ok, if you love him, then fight for him! If he has made a baby with the OW, then he will have responsibilities to that child, and you will have to know that in some way, he will always have a tie to her. Can you live with that? This sort of messes up the idea of no contact, eh? I feel so badly for you, but when things seem impossible, remember that with God, nothing is impossible! Sometimes, we just have to pray and trust Him to work out the details for us. Hang in there!

I don't know how to fight. And how on earth do I compete with a baby?

Good question... On re-reading your original post, I see that the OW has a drug problem. WHOA! What a great circumstance to bring a little one into! Are you SURE that you love this guy, or is this possibly a reaction based on the fact that he chose this loser over you? You know what I mean? My first boyfriend broke up with me, and afterwards, I felt SO terrible, and told myself how much I had loved him, and wanted to get him back, but later, I came to the honest realization that I hadn't been that crazy over him BEFORE the breakup. My reaction was really because HE DUMPED ME! Do you understand what I'm saying? I know that this site encourages rebuilding marriages. As a pastor's wife, I certainly don't encourage divorce, but think this thing through carefully! Your husband left YOU. You didn't leave HIM! If this ends with your marriage dissolving, I don't think that you should be held responsible! Again, I hope that you can work things out, and yes, I agree that it's really hard to compete with a baby, but you and I know that a successful marriage cannot be built around a child or the lack of one. I'll keep praying for you.
Marie Elena

Yes, I do honestly and truly love this man. That's what makes this so hard. I have been with other's I thought I loved but this is most definitely not the same. This man was everything and we have been through so much together and had always come out stronger before. Until now that is. He wantes a child so badly (we both did). And she comes along and uses this knowledge to trap him. The drugs got in the way. Do I know this is going to be hard. You bet I do!