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exposure after a long time has past
#1142376 06/01/04 10:55 PM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234
T
toomanylies
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toomanylies
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T Offline
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 234
If your H or W had an affair with a married OP more than a year ago, and that affair is over with (and has been for over a year) would you tell the OP's H/W? I just did that, I wrote him a letter telling him that what he thought was just a friendship was a PA.

I have two reasons for doing it, one is revenge, I don't want her to just get away with it. The other is that he has as much right to know as I do.

I don't know how he will respond or if he will even believe me, but I did what I should have done a long time ago.
Re: exposure after a long time has past
#1142377 06/02/04 12:22 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 163
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mtheart_dup1 Offline
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mtheart_dup1
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Posts: 163
I guess it would depend on how far into recovery you are, If my m was fully recovered I wouldn't, however if I felt there was a chance of the A starting up again, I certainly would.JMHO.

I did not expose my H affair because he ended it the day he told me about it, we are now 28 months past D.day and other than his anger issues are pretty much recovered from the affair.

How do you think your W will respond when you tell her? I hope it dosen't set you guys back in recovery.

Best wishes
mtheart
Re: exposure after a long time has past
#1142378 06/02/04 07:31 AM
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
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worthatry Offline
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worthatry
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
Did your H write a NC letter?

A NC letter is always the best way to accomplish three things at once -

1) communicate together (WS and BS) to the OP that the affair is over, was wrong, and you're rebuilding your marriage instead,

2) inform the OP's spouse of the affair, if he/she doesn't already know and its ending, and

3) for the WS to apologize to both of them.

JMHO

WAT

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 07:32 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

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