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Joined: Jan 2004
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Today, Dr. called to tell me that WH's liver function is servely damaged by taking Zocor. He should stop taking that immediately. But he didn't ake my call.

When I heard of it, my immediate thought was my prayer was answered. Since this incident, I had so much thought or fantasy myself. Wh will get to a bad car accident or get sick badly(I even imagined that I have to give him one of my kidney) so i can take care of him, he would know how much i love him. Even he died from it, it is death do us apart. But on the other hand, i don't know whehter GOD will answer my prayer like that, every time I prayed something like that I asked GOD to forgive me, I will follow GOD's will instead.

Is that sin or normal thought of BS? How many of you ever thought of this?

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lostnhurt-

This is all normal thinking. I often think of things like that. Don't worry about it.

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Believer, when I read Lordslady's posts, she always wished her Wh the best. She didn't want to see him in any bad shape and heartache for him. Compare to her, i feel like I am such a bad person.

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lostnhurt-

No, you are a good person. We all have our fantasies. But your WH needs to stop the meds.

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I actually thought of NOT telling him and let him continue taking the med. But I called him after a while. I feel that I am so bad. I kept asking for GOD's forgiveness, and it still bothers me for having such thought.

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lostnhurt - No, it is tempting, but you would not want to lose your husband. It would be very hard for your children.

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Well, the kids even didn't mention their dad. And Wh didn't call either. Do they miss each other? DO they need each other? I don't see it. Right now I am like a single mother. WH disappeared totally already, what is the difference that he is dead?

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LostnHurt,
Your thoughts of your H's death or injury are fairly normal I believe.

Just like a psych would ask questions on suicide, I'd get a little concerned if and when the thoughts segway into a definite plan.

cwmac

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Just because he doesn't call or see you, doesn't mean he doesn't think about you.


Chances are he thinks about you all the time, but feels guilty and doesn't have the courage to call- either because he's not ready to come back, or because he feels like he has gone too far, hurt you too much and doesn't know if you will have him back.

If he is really sick, (and it sounds very serious), he is doing some serious thinking right about now- this might be a big wake up call.

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Here is my thought on this:

Soon after D/D I prayed for H to change....I prayed and prayed and prayed.

Guess who God changed????? ME!!

Be careful what you pray for......although thoughts may be "normal"....ACTING on making something happen...(by way of not giving info. etc) is SIN in my opinion.

I know we are are diff. with diff. opinions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Blessings,
Atruheart

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LostnHurt,

I think that your thought is "normal" for someone in your situation. And I also think you are right to ask the Lord to forgive you and not to act upon them, although I don't think you ought to beat yourself up for thinking them. We all struggle with "evil" thoughts sometimes. The verse says, "Take every thought captive." You have to recognize it as a wrong thought, confess it to the Lord, ask Him to help you bear up under the pain, and trust that He has a far better way to deal with your husband.

But I honestly don't believe it's sinful to think such a thought. It'd be sinful if you delighted in it or acted upon it. You obviously are doing neither. You feel both guilt and remorse for thinking it and are not acting on it.

I'm truly sorry you are going through this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> May God be near you and bring you comfort, peace, and rest.

(Have you ever been to www.rejoiceministries.org or www.restorem.org? At that first site, there is a book called "The Prodigal's Perspective." It's written by a man who had an affair and left his wife. After 2 years of divorce, God got ahold of him, he returned to his wife, they remarried, and now have this ministry. The book is ful of questions he's been asked, like "What were you thinking while living with the OW," or "Did you think of your wife?" etc. He shares what was going on in his heart and mind and what "won" him back to his wife. If you can buy it, I would encourage you to. It's fairly cheap I think ($6))

God bless you.

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Thank you friends. I kept praying that GOD change me to a better person. Now this evil thought still gets into me. All your replies helped me so much. I will keep praying for my own change. LMX, I will get the book.

Today's head line news was Clinton's infidelity, then I thought of Pricess Di, I feel so sorry that our society got caught up with this type of sin, which may so many people suffer. I can't help asking GOD, where is the justice?


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