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Can't wait to hear! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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“[…] when you tell your H of your decision and your actions, TELL HIM WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED. Perhaps the best way to start talking to him is to tell him what you have learned in this past year, from your A's, from your decisions, and THEN tell him of the decision that is causing you so much grief. And tell him why you are telling him now, that you have learned that he is a source of strength for you, that perhaps you do love him, etc.”
JustLearning: This is exactly how I survived telling H about the abortion. I have learned so much from past mistakes, and the analogy of the spiraling life is a very accurate description of how I view life. Before March of this year I felt my life was in a downward spiral, and I have been lifted up, through His mercy…and with the love, support, and faith of my H…my spiral is now upward. I see many great things in our future.
<small>[ June 24, 2004, 09:03 PM: Message edited by: momof3bychoice ]</small>
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Me , “This probably is the worst time to talk about this…to tell you this…but there will never be the ‘right time’ to tell you something this painful and awful.” Him (looking scared and nauseas), “Okay, I am listening…go on.” Me, “Last year I had an abortion.” I had to just get it out. Him, silence, closes his eyes. Me, “I feel awful, terrible. I need you more than ever right now. I am mourning the death of this baby so badly right now. It was the worst day of my life and the anniversary is approaching quickly and I do not know if I can endure it without you.” Tears. Him, still silent, now looking at me. Me, “I am sorry. I have many explanations for why I did this…no good excuses, just explanations. I have thought long and hard about who we were last year, who I was, what our marriage was. I have thought about that decision I made. I have thought about Christ. I have thought a lot about who we are now and mostly I have been thinking about YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS. Him, “Was it my baby?” Me, “Yes.” Tears. Him, “I have a lot of questions about what was going on at this time last year…about your feelings about me and us…I don’t know where to begin.” Me, “I have something for you to read…when you are ready, that might help you, and if you still have more questions I will answer them honestly as best I can. Me, (crying more), “I am so sorry.” Him, (reaching out to touch me), “I forgive you, but you need to forgive yourself.” BIG HUGS, TEARS, BIG HUGS, (and my favorite) A KISS ON FOREHEAD.Thank you, JustLearing (and others…don’t get all jealous on me KY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ), without your questions, guidance, support, love…I may not have ever told him. AND if I did ever tell him I might have done it wrong or something. AGAIN JL, THANK YOU FOR THIS: My point is simple, when you tell your H of your decision and your actions, TELL HIM WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED. Perhaps the best way to start talking to him is to tell him what you have learned in this past year, from your A's, from your decisions, and THEN tell him of the decision that is causing you so much grief. And tell him why you are telling him now, that you have learned that he is a source of strength for you, that perhaps you do love him, etc.
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WHEW!!!!!! (A collective sigh of relief). You did it. Now this will no longer be between you two. God bless you both.
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KY, Hubby and I are indulging in Chocolate Puddin' right now...thought you should know! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> xoxo, mom
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Momof3,
Tears from me this morning reading this.
Nah, not just tears. Real crying. I feel for you and all the emotional upheaval in your life right now. I rejoice in the new openness and honesty in your M, and the healing that is taking place.
JL, AD, and others - unbelievable insight, support, and caring.
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Mornin' Mo3! That is just the best news ever! I think I remember you saying your H has a couple days off? I bet it's a beautiful day where you are, (even if the sky doesn't say so)! Now go enjoy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> ~ad
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Mom of 3, Communication, isn't it a funny little thing. It works it actually works. No jealousy here, I think JL is brilliant and still a little unsure if he is male or not. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Oh, wait I am jealous, chocolate pudding!!!! Did you smear it all over each other??? And then L - oh, I'll let you tell on your new sex thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'm guessing relief has over taken your body, and you are very fulfilled with the love and forgiveness and total acceptance you have received from you H. Very happy for you Mom. KY
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KY, this is funny cuz at first I didn't know JL was a man, sometimes I can't keep all you guys straight...but it quickly came back to me. I was very glad to have a man's perspective on this. And you humor.
About the pudding...there could have been some smearing and li..., but he already smearled calamine lotion on my poison ivy...I think that would taste ewie together....not to mention the poison ivy is in an interesting spot right now....don't know how it got there?! Could he get poison ivy on his....tongue?
This is turing into a strange sex thread...although I have had a stranger converstaions (I am a student nurse).
Thinking about the calamine lotion...I was thinking about adding that to my list of love bank deposits over on Pepper's thread!
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KY, this is funny cuz at first I didn't know JL was a man, sometimes I can't keep all you guys straight...but it quickly came back to me. I was very glad to have a man's perspective on this. And you humor. OMG - I have been such a rambling idiot you think I'm a man.... Not so!!!!!!!!!! That is a joke men, relax. I'm an old fashion girl who happens to hold the male species in a superior way. Mom- my H always tells me, you are pretty funny, for a girl. Girls can be funny too. Gosh, has our bond been tarnished??? I all of the sudden feel dirty, I need a shower. KY - a real girly girl <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Ky
I knew you were a girl...I think I used the pronoun "guys" wrong or something...I meant it is hard to keep the stories that accomany the screennames straight, because I have no faces to associate...becoming clear as mud now?
SO SORRY, I can tell you are all girl like me! HELLO....chocolate obsessed...well cello is obsessed with the cocoa too though, so I guess hat is a poor indicator of sex....
now I am rambling!
I have always had more male friends than female and I think it is because of humor. I just like the way men joke around better than women (most women). Women can get too "personal" men are more tongue and cheeck...there is a gag there I know it....
I meant I was glad for JL's make perspective and your (womanly, but not so "takin' it personal") humor.
I MESSED UP THAT ONE!
Our bond is not tarnished...I hope. And I am glad we cleared that up!
Remember, I am the WS...so this communication thing is kinda new for me (lol....).
xoxo
mom
<small>[ June 25, 2004, 09:17 AM: Message edited by: momof3bychoice ]</small>
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So I took a shower for nothing????? Thanks for clearing it up. Your title changing is cracking me up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I've been looking for the opportunity to tell you I shave my legs, and stuff, everyday too. Every since I read your one thread that said that. But then if I post that and you think I'm male, that would be too weird. I knew you knew, but I was confused for a second, thought maybe you had me confused with somebody. Ah, yes, communication. I sucked at it too, obviously. I'm sorry you have poison ivy, yuck!!!!! Are you like a speckled egg with all that calomine lotion on??? KY
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I have so much calamine lotion on that there is nothing "speckled" about me. I keep wondering, "how did I get it there? or there?"
Also, I just got out of the shower and not only did I shave my legs...but I popped a huge zit on my chest...I feel so grossssssss. I am falling apart. I am 25 yo and I am falling apart.
There will be no sex thread today.
I keep thinking of new titles for this thread, but am holding myself back...I can get carried away.
hubby is patiently waiting for me to finish getting ready...we have "plans" for today while kids are at church camp. Tanning and coffee drinks...he knows the way to a girls heart. I am so glad he did not witness the zit popping. I am glad we are not "too comfortable" with each other these days.
Gotta go...will check back in later with ya KY, k? Love chatting with ya!
xoxo
mom
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KY...I am off chocolate for a while, because after the extraction ceremony I performed on my chest in the shower...I found "another" on my back....I have backne! OMG...I am falling apart. I feel as thought it is connected to every nerve in my back/shoulder/neck...I may need to sterilize some forceps to get a hold of it....
strange, strange, sex thread.
xoxo
mom
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