Thanks to all for your help. Today is not so good (unlike the great day my WH and I had yesterday. I've read some of the other recent posts, and I have some questions. We're supposedly in plan A. He moved out to an apartment last Nov. He only uses cell phones. Since I live 60 miles from there, I have no way of knowing what he is doing, or with whom. Since he knows I looked at his work and personal cell phones, I have no way of knowing about contact. He's still free to do what he wants. OW lives in a town about 20 miles from him, but works in the same building as he does. I don't know if I should ask any questions, or just keep on keepin' on: no LBs, only love. I know he needs to make his decision, and I hope it's for me (trying to show him I'm the best choice). How long do I let him have for his decision making? Do I ask him any questions regarding this, or leave it to him. Since he finally told me everything last Friday and I listened to him intently, everything is still new and scary. This whole thing is killing me. What to do?

Welcome to MB. Could you please post your story or the link where it is?

I am sorry you are dealing with this. The leash your H is on allows him to have the A, his cake and eat it to.

What do you mean by he told it all to you? Are you sure?

L.

I would stay in Plan A for a little longer. The suggestion here for women is about 3-4 months. See if what he does next.

Thanks for the reply Orchid. My story is in Just Found Out - "trying hard to work it out". I know what you mean about having his cake. I just don't know if I should ask any questions like "are you getting any closer to making your decision" or anything else. Believer, I will try to hold on for a longer time. It's very hard. When he told all, I had told him what I thought had happened according to past events, and his behavior. He finally relented and said yes. It's been going on for 2.5 years. He told me all about her, what she is like, etc. I listened. I said You're in love with her - he said yes. Part of the reason this happened is because he has never felt able to tell me things, which is one of his needs apparently. Our sex life was always good before the A. We did almost all recreational things together before I had to have back surgery, which made me unable to do much for a while. That's ok now. My problem is the waiting. Am reading HN/HN now, and LB, trying to make him see how much he can love me, and waiting. Despair takes over.