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Okay, I need honest opinions about the following situation. You don’t have to spare my feelings or say what you think I want to hear.

I am 25 years old. A year or so ago I worked at a private pre-school. After I had been there awhile a new family started at the school. There were 2 girls and boy. Their mother had been drinking and popping pills and had gotten into a car wreck (with the little boy in the car—he was fine). The mother was in a coma when the children started attending the school. Their Dad (37) brought them everyday, and in the beginning, you could kind of tell things were a mess. The little girls had crazy outfits on, messy hair, etc. I thought the Dad was cute. It was the type of thing where I always noticed him, I remember the first day he showed up, etc. I never thought anything besides “Boy, he’s cute.” I know that several other ladies at the school thought he was cute too, and frequently talked about him and how they felt sorry for him because his wife was in the coma, and he was so nice, etc. Over several months I became pretty close with his children. They were so pitiful and in need of affection with their mom being injured, I just felt so sorry for them. Their mother eventually (after a few months) came out of her coma and moved back home. She came in several times with her mother to pick the kids up, and you could tell right away that things were NOT okay, she had not recovered fully. You could also tell that the children were having a hard time adjusting to her being back and being so “different”.

Also over the course of this time, my marriage problems seemed to get worse. Things have always been pretty rough between my husband and me for several reasons. We fight a lot, and as of last fall we were fighting even more.

Last November, some icky things went down at work and I decided to quit. My second to last day there I told the Dad that I was leaving and he mentioned that he could tell something was “up” at the school and he asked for my email address, which I gave him. That same day he emailed me a ‘Hello” email and then the day after I left my job, I wrote him and told him all about the stuff happening at work. We started emailing each other pretty frequently and I quickly learned that he was having serious problems at home—his wife had started drinking again soon after she came home and combined with several years of unhappiness, she moved to her mom’s house and he filed for divorce. I expressed my sympathy and told him that if there was anything I could do for them to help out that I would. I offered to clean his house up for them (filthy!) and once I picked his girls up from the school I had worked at to take them to buy a present for their mom. Apparently that caused an uproar, their mother found out about me and decided we were having an affair, called the school I had worked at to dig up info on me, etc. I got an awful email from one of the owners of the school, basically calling me a whore and telling me I should never come back to the school. I told the Dad about what they said, and he basically blew it off as in “My wife never wanted me to have any female friends” and “Now I REALLY want you to go pick them up, screw them!”

I should mention that from then to now we exchange a LOT of email. I’ve gotten 7 from him in one day before. It is odd to go a day without email from him. We talk about his job issues, his divorce, my marital problems and possible divorice. He gives me a lot of advice seems to think highly of me. I went on vacation a couple of times and the email didn’t stop. He is away seeing his family this week and he told me he’d email me. He calls me once in awhile on the phone, sometimes for a reason, sometimes just to chat. Just last week he called me because he went to a career meeting and something happened that “made him think” of me. I have babysat for him several times and I always end up staying long to talk to him. When I leave there after watching his kids for him, he follows me out to my car and we end up standing in the driveway and talking more. I watched his kids for a week this summer (I’m not working over the summer) and he invited me to go to a concert with him and his kids at night. It was fun, except for the fact that he has a VERY hot temper and gets really mad at his children. He even got snippy with me at the concert! He later apologized. He has invited me over to his house a few times when his kids were not there, always under some lame excuse—last time it was to see “his new allergy medication”. When I go there and we are alone, we talk the whole time. We have a similar sense of humor and can end up talking for 3 hours before I kind of snap out of it and realize I have to go home.

Once, I got annoyed and emailed him this (in March):

Do you think there is a possibility that my relationship with you is more
than friends? I feel like I've been getting some mixed signals, and I just
wanted to clarify. Thanks!

And he wrote back:

Considering the circumstances we are both in, I don't think there should be anything more than friends. I apologize for the mixed signals as it's by no means my intention.

Sorry about that.


Then, we both kind of lightened the situation and joked about it. Nothing was ever mentioned again.

This Spring, the Dad moved his kids from one school to another. It just so happens that the new school was hiring, so I went and applied and got the job. My first day there, I was informed that when the Dad first toured the school and enrolled his kids, he told them “You might hear a rumor about me and a lady from XXXX School!” I have NO idea why he did that. That was a nice thing to have hanging over my head the whole time I was there. Well, the school closed for summer and I decided not to come back in the fall, and the Dad decided that if I wasn’t going to be there then he wasn’t taking his kids there.


Throughout this whole time, I haven’t told my husband much. He knew when I was going over to babysit but he has no idea the kind of talking we’re doing, or the frequency. Recently I have started to feel a little funny about it and have been telling my husband little tidbits like “He emailed me about his job today!” Ha! I joke about it, make fun of it to my husband. He’s worried though, I can tell. He is on a business trip this week and told me NOT to go to the Dad’s house—and I did anyway. On the phone he asked if I had talked to him. I said no, but I have.

The Dad asked me if I wanted to (since I am not working) watch his kids during August until he gets some work issues figured out. He is willing to pay me very well, and the kids are no trouble at all. They love me, and I love them too. The little girl told all her friends at the second school they went to that I was her Mommy.


I guess my main questions are these:

--What do you think is going on with this other guy? He has never “put the moves” on me, but I have never had anything like this happen. I have no idea if he is interested or if I’m wasting my time thinking about this too much. I have never had a male friendship that is this close, where the talking is this frequent--actually, I don't think I've had a female relationship like this as an adult!

--Do you think I am essentially cheating on my husband?

--What would you do about the above situation of you were me?


Any other general opinions are welcome!

<small>[ July 23, 2004, 11:40 PM: Message edited by: Mrs. Confused ]</small>

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Mrs C:

"--Do you think I am essentially cheating on my husband?"

Yes. It's called an "emotional affair" (EA). You can "tell" it's an affair, because you're talking 2 this guy about your troubled marriages and you're keeping this from your spouses.

"--What would you do about the above situation of you were me?"

Back off! You need 2 be an "emotionally healthy" individual before you're capable of starting a new relationship like this. You also need 2 be SINGLE. So does your friend. You need 2 eliminate the distraction of this other drain on your affections so you can focus on your relationship with your husband (H) and fix the problems in your marriage.

His wife sounds like a mess, but you getting involved with her husband, whether they're getting a divorce or no, is NOT helping her. Your friend should stay out of contact with you and determine whether he can/should save his marriage before getting involved with you, even if it's for conversation.

You can find a lot more info by going 2 the home page and reading the articles about infidelity and building a strong marital relationship.

Welcome 2 MB!
-ol' 2long

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Mrs Confused,
You are having an EA with this "Dad"

The best definition of EA that I've seen is from Shirley Glass' book, "Not Just Friends" buy and read this book asap

There are three prerequisites to an EA: secrecy, intimacy and sexual chemistry

Secrecy: Check You said that you didn't ell your H about the e-mails and talks and the extent of same

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Throughout this whole time, I haven’t told my husband much. He knew when I was going over to babysit but he has no idea the kind of talking we’re doing, or the frequency. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Intimacy: A use this word in the broad sense. Intimacy means familiarity. You discuss your thoughts, your hopes, your wishes, your likes and dislikes.

Worse yet is when two people discuss the states of their marriage. That's almost asking someone if their interested in you. They're probing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We started emailing each other pretty frequently and I quickly learned that he was having serious problems at home—his wife had started drinking again soon after she came home and combined with several years of unhappiness, she moved to her mom’s house and he filed for divorce. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sexual Chemistry: This doesn't mean sex. It means someone makes you feel special. They get your hormones going. The brain cocktail says their "special" Sometimes this can even happen subconsciously.

Bingo...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It was the type of thing where I always noticed him, I remember the first day he showed up, etc. I never thought anything besides “Boy, he’s cute.” </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Truth is, I do like this other guy. I’m even a little jealous that he’s going to his high school reunion this Saturday and surely will be talking to old female friends.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Whether you know it or not your relationship with this man has affected your marriage and it has affected his.

In your post you haven't described your H at all other than to say the marriage was rocky and you seperated for awhile. You did however point to several negative attributes of your other man (OM). He has treated you poorly and spoken poorly of you to others. He also doesn't treat his children well.

BTW how do you know the nature of the car accident? Could it be that your only source of info is Mr Wonderful. One of the little secrets of affairs whether EA or PA is that affair partners are not totally truthful with each other. They tend to exaggerate their marriage issues. They exaggerate as to the qualities of their spouse.

What would I do if I were in your shoes? I'd start being completely honst with my husband. Harley calls it the Radical Honesty. Most spouses lie to each other everyday. It's stupid. Be honest. Don't hide behind the selfish vail of "I don't want to hurt his feelings"

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">On the phone he asked if I had talked to him. I said no, but I have.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You can also practice the POJA Policy of Joint Agreement, which basically says that neither spouse should do anything that the other spouse isn't behind 100%. You said...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He is on a business trip this week and told me NOT to go to the Dad’s house—and I did anyway </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BTW, most spouses involved in affairs rationalize their behavior. They say to themselves," well it's OK that I sneak around behind my H's back to see OM because of this reason or that reason"

This is just plain wrong behavior. It is selfish behavior.

Did you expect someone at MB to tell you that everything is OK?

Work on your M. tell your H the truth. Tell OM that you need to end the relationship before it crosses more boundaries. Tell him in the form ofa NC letter sent by your H.

That is what you should do.

Mac

PS I wish my W had posted here at MB when she was just starting her "relationship" with OM. It turned into "soulmates for life" and then it turned physical. She'd feel a whole lot better about herself if she hadn't.

It all starts with a secret "friendship."

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Thank you, both of you! I only expected honesty here, nothing else, so thank you. I'm going to buy that book tomorrow. Thanks again.

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Hi. Welcome to MB..

"Also over the course of this time, my marriage problems seemed to get worse. "

OK

*STOP* your story right there....

Do you see there is something missing here?

If you were aware your marriage problems were getting worse over time.... what was your plan to fix these problems?

Really, what did you do? Counseling? Deep discussions? See your pastor?

What action did you take to fix what was wrong?????

Imagine this were a story about a child of yours... and you said the following:

"Over the course of time, my child's problems seemed to be getting worse."

And then you did ~nothing~ about the problems other than observe they existed! You took NO actions, you sought NO assistance to help correct your child's problems...

See why I have a problem with your story?

If it were your child, you'd be considered a neglectful parent.

As a wife, you neglect your marriage.

Leave this other wife's husband and family alone.

Your marriage is your garden.... and it's overgrown with weeds. I bet if you made fixing your marriage your priority, you'd feel pretty wonderful about yourself.

Tend your own relationship. It is a gift you have neglected for too long.

Pep

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I don't know if I didn't make it clear enough, but my friend's wife was gone before I started being friends with him. She was already moved out when he first emailed me.

To answer the question about what we've done to help our marriage: We have been going to counseling for months. It seems to help a little, but we quickly fall back into our unhappy pattern.

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Mrs. C, you don't have clear eyes to view the state of your own M. You probably want it to stay in its "unhappy pattern" because that will make it okay to ditch it and clear the path for "Dad". You can only address the problems in your M if Dad is out of the picture. With him on your mind, you are not motivated to fix your M, you are motivated to destroy it.

GC

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mrs. Confused:
<strong>
To answer the question about what we've done to help our marriage: We have been going to counseling for months. It seems to help a little, but we quickly fall back into our unhappy pattern. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Once again, re-read your response and imagine you are talking about working on the problems one of your children may have .... (I know you don't have kids, but imagine you do)

Think: .... if your attempts to help your child with his problems did not result in him becoming problem-free quickly enough, would you abandon that child and focus your attention toward someone else's child?

Have you done "whatever it takes for as long as it takes" to save your marriage?

And getting rid of an outside infatuation ... IS required for marriage counseling to be effective.

Pep

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Mrs. C:

His W having moved out before you started your "friendship" with OM only made him VULNERABLE 2 having an A (affair) with you.

He's still married, until the DV is final. Even then, he should give himself about a year of "alone time" (soli2de, not loneliness, there's a BIG difference) before dating again. And, obviously, YOU are M'd. If there ever will be a time when it's appropriate for you 2 be friends with this guy, it's not now, nor will it be for years, at least. Let him go.

Your involvement with OM is making it impossible for you 2 focus on what you and your H need 2 make your own M better.

-ol' 2long

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"To answer the question about what we've done to help our marriage: We have been going to counseling for months. It seems to help a little, but we quickly fall back into our unhappy pattern."

Without complete honesty about what's troubling you - what you are posting here - you will forever "fall back in2 [your] unhappy pattern."

End the pattern. Change the 2ne.

-ol' 2long

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mrs. Confused:
<strong> I don't know if I didn't make it clear enough, but my friend's wife was gone before I started being friends with him. She was already moved out when he first emailed me.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are in an inappropriate relationship with a MARRIED MAN.

Unless he is divorced with papers making their marriage nul and void, he IS married.

YOU are a MARRIED WOMAN .... with a marriage that needs tending. Go do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to fix what is wrong with your marriage.

The effort you spend concerned about another woman's husband ... is effort you could be spending repairing your own marriage.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

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MrsConfused,

You asked what you should do. My response was...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Work on your M. tell your H the truth. Tell OM that you need to end the relationship before it crosses more boundaries. Tell him in the form of a NC letter sent by your H.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Anything less than this, isn't really trying to work on your M. You're just kidding yourself. You can tell yourslf all you want that you worked on it but you're just rationalizing. Full disclosure to your H and no contact with other man is the only way you can honestly say that you gave your marriage a 100% try.

Disclosure to your H may give you want you want. Some Hs immediately file for divorece however most get the "wake up call" of a lifetime.

My wife was/is shocked as to my complete turn around. We communicate better than any point in our nearly 20 year marriage. I can discuss my feelings with her. I still get angry at times but I deal with it in a healthier way. We have discussed and resolved most of the resentments that both of us have fostered.

You may be surprised at the results. Most WS/FWSs are.

Mac

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hi Mrs. C,

it is wonderful that you have posted here and that you are obviously thinking long and hard about this. the responses you have gotten are right on the money, please listen to them. i started my A at a time when i was sure my marriage was unsalvagable. i was so wrong. i think of all the pain that could of been avoided if i had only really openned up to my H. But I do remember how it felt at the time, i believe i did try to open up, H was not interested, didn't agree we had serious problems, truth is H was so unhappy about his issues (that he was not telling me about), H was sure i knew what he needed to be happy in the marriage but that i didn't want to do what he needed. it is very hard to really put yourself out there and be completely open and honest. the risk is huge, to 100% totatlly trust your H with your insides. as time goes by, it gets harder and harder to do as you become so convinced that your H does not truely love you.

Do you wonder if your H loves you? Do you wonder if you love your H?

Consider yourself truely blessed that you found yourself here before things got even messier.

My advice.. print this out and give it to your H. Maybe talk to your MC about it first, maybe do it during MC or do it right before a MC session. you have done a great job describing what is going on with you. it was easier to describe it to us, you don't know us. the point is, it is harder to do that with your spouse because perhaps, due to the bumps along the way, you no longer trust your H with your most fragile self. Am i right on any of this???

you are in a good place here. you have not really done anything so terrible but you have to admit, you are on the path to it!!!!! please turn around and get back on the right path, the one with your H. remember the vows you took. did you mean it? marriage is a lot more work than most of us ever expected

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I am the "H" in this story. I came across the link to this forum in the recycle bin. My wife and I have had problems over the last year but I have really tried hard to be the best husband I can be. I look forward to going to counseling because it makes me feel like we are making progress. I love my wife with all my heart.. I always have, and I have been telling her that since the day I met her 8 years ago. Nothing is more important to me than her. I have been very confused about some of the actions but now they are crystal clear. Can I ever trust her? Do you think she will ever love me? I need to know what to do.

Thanks,
DanH

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Whoa, this just got sticky.

DanH, you are going to need to be extremely, extremely patient and kind towards your W (wife). You are going to have to acknowledge, seriously, very seriously, your part in making your M (marriage) vulnerable. You are going to have to spend some time giving and giving and not expecting to receive anything in return.

Read about plan A. The LBs (love busters) you need to especially avoid depend on your own personality and what you've done wrong in your M, but if you're like many you must especially avoid DJs (disrespectful judgements). If you become emotional and attack your W for her behavior, and she feels it's disrespectful, then it is, even if its completely justified.

There are lots of things you have to do that are counterintuitive. Remember that as your recovery begins, while you are anxious to get started working on your M, your W is going to be busy getting over her feelings for this other man. Here at MB they call it withdrawal, and your wife will not be much good to you while she's in it. You will have to swallow the fact that when she becomes sad and cold and distant, it's because she's missing the OM (other man) and feeling rotten because she can't be with him. When this happens, and you feel unloved and hurt and ignored, give your W space, and get away and brood on your own. Take a walk. Go beat up on a tree. Avoid laying the guilt for hurting you on her while she's in withdrawal. She'll just wind up resenting you for it, even though she has no right.

And whatever you do, do not underestimate the danger your M is in. Do not think that because things didn't go all the way to a fully-blown, marriage-abandoning, PA (physical affair), that means your M is not right on the edge of being gone. This situation is extremely, extremely serious. Be very skeptical if your W tells you she needs to get away because she needs space or needs time to think. These activities will not help her, and they will not help your M. WWs (wayward wives) always seem to want to get away. Then they write letters to the OM, sit and look at the stars and pine for the OM, or, worst of all, meet up with the OM.

Good luck to you. You may also want to talk to your W about setting some boundaries if both of you are going to post here. It is good to have a safe place to vent and get advice, and if each of you is reading everything the other writes, you may hurt each others' feelings and do some damage. Be careful about this. Fire off a post with a subject line that directly asks ncwalker or recoveringh for advice on this - they are two men in recovering marriages whose wives also post here. There may be others, I just can't recall right this minute.

MB is not some crazy cultish nonsense that the people here have blindly bought into. Some of it seems contrived and cheesy at first (I thought the "love bank" concept was a little embarassing in the beginning), but it will help you and your M.

Read everything you can on this site. Learn about filling your W's ENs (emotional needs). Buy the books sold here, and ask your counselor to recommend others to you as well. Your M is in less trouble at the moment than most others you'll read about here, but it is very, very close to being in the same kind of trouble. Trust me.

Also - be careful you don't bombard your W with too many "I love you"s. You don't want to highlight the differences between how you're feeling and how she's feeling too much at this critical time. Okay, that should get you started.

GC

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Thanks for the advice. After the initial shock wore off (I actually threw up) we talked a bit. She became somewhat hostile telling me that she would not have gone out looking if I had been there for her emotionally. I may not have the exact same sense of humor as her, but I have always been there for her. I can't understand why she would feel this way.

Please read this post I posted on google groups back in March when the problems began:

http://groups.google.com/groups?q=g...0403051703.77d35208%40posting.google.com

The part I cannot figure out is the intention of her post. I have read it about 20 times now and it keeps sounding to me like she really wants to know if the other guy is interested in her. But then, I think it sounds like she really wants the marriage to work and needed some guidance to get her back on the right track. What do you think?

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A quote regarding the husband with the ex comatose wife: "It was fun, except for the fact that he has a VERY hot temper and gets really mad at his children. He even got snippy with me at the concert!"

I'd bet anything that what you saw is only a small glimpse of something that is a major problem in his home and marriage... probably has alot to do with his wife's unhappiness and her handling it with alchohol, etc. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors but I wouldn't hesitate to say that there's alot that you don't know and what you saw that one night... a VERY hot-tempered man is probably not even half of the extent of how he is in his marriage.

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OK, well, this is a mess, but I believe it is "salvagable." I say that b/c first Mrs. C came here asking if she was doing anything wrong....indicating she already feels guilt for what she's doing (that's good!) Feelings of guilt often stop us from doing the wrong thing when we are unable to stop ourselves from soemthing too tempting. It's our internal moral compass, and it's there for a purpose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I think LovemyEx's comments are right on. If this guy is showing this much "anger" ~ inappropriate rage at this early stage of this -- er -- relationship, then I'd be worried he could be quite ABUSIVE in a full-time setting. Your own M notwithstanding, THIS ALONE WOULD CAUSE ME TO RUN - NOT WALK AWAY!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">... probably has alot to do with his wife's unhappiness and her handling it with alchohol, etc. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors but I wouldn't hesitate to say that there's alot that you don't know and what you saw that one night... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">VERRRRY good point!

Now, Dan: To you: I HOPE you take the advice you've been given seriously. You MUST show your W that you've found her posts here. She must be made aware that you KNOW about this EA w/om. You MUST immediately begin to Plan A and make the changes you need to, in order to fix your portion of your own M problems. It seems that your W has been "carrying on" w/this EA for quite a long time, so she will feel the effects of withdrawal if she chooses to cut off contact w/him.

Unfortunately, I am not sure I believe she will be willing to do that. I HOPE I'm wrong....but I'm afraid you are in for a long fight. Are you up for it? Have you been reading on this site? Have you found out about EN's? As has been advised already, have you read about LB's? And DJ's? NONE of those can now utter from your mouth.

If she does not re-commit to the M immediately after finding out you KNOW about om, then you may have to go to "disclosure" mode. This might mean letting om know that you KNOW about his "inappropriate" R with your/W, and that she has NOT told you about their "friendship" previous to this. You could ask him to back away ~ gentleman to gentleman. I don't believe I would do this in person, since he (obviously) is a very violent person, and he could start something phsyical w/you if he percieves you as a threat to his "happiness."

I will pray for you and W. I will pray she SEES what is happening w/om, and that she immediately becomes contrite, and re-commits to your M.

This CAN be turned around, Dan. It's just a very hurtful, difficult mountain to climb. Prepare yourself, try to eat, try to sleep some. We ALL know it's difficult to do those simple things right after learning things you have just learned.

God Bless,

<small>[ July 24, 2004, 06:41 AM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

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Let me say that first, I do know my husband is posting here.

I have not defended myself in the way he has described the "not getting what I need" from him comment. I knew that this couldn't be right or healthy for working on my marriage, that's why I asked for help. I just feel like an idiot because I put more thought and energy into my friendship with this other guy than I should have, the whole time the other guy doesn't know anything, and to him, we're just friends. So, this is my own weakness and stupidity and something I know needs to be corrected. I just wish I would have been able to actually follow the advice of this site, and not had to have started out hurting my husband's feelings so much, because that sure wasn't my intention.

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MrsC, you and your H are going to see things very differently for a while. A big point of disagreement you're going to have is about which came first, the EA or your loss of love for DanH.

Cut your husband some slack. Your marriage may have been vulnerable, but you're the one that tried to kill it. Own up to that. YOU did it. If you hadn't given your feelings for "Dad" room to run in your mind, you would not be feeling so little for your husband. He didn't do that to your feelings, you did. Your feelings may have been lacking the depth that would be there in a healthier marriage, but you threw your love for your H overboard to make room for "Dad" in your heart.

Get together with your husband and work on this. Read Harley's books. They will open your eyes and you will one day soon feel the same love and passion for your H that you once did. Your M will be healthy again. Believe it.

GC

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