WW did you realize what this is doing to your families and yourselfs.........Lets see she lost a new house for an appartment over a garage.......Lost our new jeep.........for a ford probe that runs like sh**......That is in his name..........Ready to lose her licence ....just got a letter saying shes got 5 points for speeding ..A second ticket since she left for OM.(never had a ticket in her life)If she comes back my insurance will be sky high........About to lose her school job at D school that she worked for free for 1 1/2 yrs to get..........She is a teachers aid..... In the last part of last yrs the teacher said she was not the same person..just did her job and left.......not caring anymore........The teachers do not even want her back.......She had our D change answers on a test so D would not fail the test WW was correcting. Got cault and confessed and they let her slide........ Lost 22 lbs she had a pretty body........size 7 to a 3........ basiclly lost her D respect......D don't even want to call her anymore.....and she does not call D at all........Lost the respect of my two son from my first marriage age 21 and 17 now.....They don't even want to talk to her .......WW and 21 yr old talked every other day........not no more.......Lost my sister whom they were best friends........Lost a husband that gave her what ever she wanted for 11 yrs except emotional love, according to C..................All this for a 25 yr old guy that is on probation for two yrs and one yr without a licence for DUI.......plus past convictions for gun charges and did 3 months and 6 months house arrest..He plan it just right to have my W in time to take care of him.............She said you don't know what OM has been through.........Who gives a F***......We all have problemssssssss...I was reading over LOVE must be tough last night and it said i lost her respect and need to earn it back......HOWWWWWWWWWW by what I am doing..... I can't believe all this it has been 6 months yesterday.......since she left........Why will it end will she ever realize, as if she lost her mind.......Do all WS do this Her Mom was Manic and bipolar........I never thought she had that............One day I came home and she was gone no Ideal it was coming.I know now that they did sleep together one time before she left.( aweek before) LOST it all and I still love this women.......She is 28 and I am 40.Had D at 17 maybe that is the reason needed to relive teen yrs.........

No Frank, She does not see what she has lost...yet...she is in the fog... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

As you said, she was VERY young when she had your D, and you are much older. She is living out some fantasy and it will come crashing down on her at some point.

Be a good father, take good care of yourself. You "may' be able to help her when she sees reality and you may not. You have your self respect.

Keep venting here, many people understand your feelings, she does not. I'll be praying for you, Ladysing

Frankd,

I am terribly sorry for what you are going through. Especially that you had no idea it was coming - one day you came home and she was gone. I can't even imagine how you got through those days, but you did.

I've never been a WS but from what I read here and from people I know, yes eventually they realise what they have done. I often wonder how anyone could ever take them back, but love has a mind of it's own I guess. You can't go around it, you have to go through it, until it is gone I suppose.

Hang in there Frankd and once again I am so very sorry you have to go through this.

Weaver

I hate the weekends, becauce that is when we did everything together.......They never do any thing together......they are rarely going any where together.she does all the running and shopping and ect.......we did do it together shopping movies dinners comedy club........you name it we were together.......My D told me she seen letters WW wrote him on how much she loves him and how she will do any thing for him and they will be together for ever and he means the world to her ect........then there are the letters that she wrote him on why he tell her to go to hell and stop useing him ect.......I don't understand where I went wrong...I am so glad I can come here and vent....You know I feel sorry for her I truely do.............I wished she will wake up soon........They say six months and it has been six months........I have made mistakes in the last 6 months but I have read all the books and undrerstand what I have to do......I have not been calling her .....She did call me last week and I was real nice........I am trying to be there for D now but I will be there for WW when she come to her sences.If she does.........The D part is what bothers me the most....................Maybe I am stupid but I will make a stand to keep my wife I hope I am doing rightr now......Should I not call her at all I want to so bad but I wont.........

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
.......She is 28 and I am 40.Had D at 17 maybe that is the reason needed to relive teen yrs.........</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Funny .... I was just thinking about this...

I was wondering if any affair books discuss this:

~~~~~Insurgent Affair~~~~~

That would be an affair as an act of rebellion. If your much younger WW thought of your position as one of leadership in the marriage (in part due to the age difference) ... might she be using this affair as an uprising against authority?

Just some random thoughts...

Pep

You know you have a point I was told that maybe that is the case...She is rebelling for her lost years..I never was one to tell her what to do,,,every one assumes that if you are with a younger women you dominate the but thatis not true......She had equil say and she was the boss believe me... some times she would say i treated her like a kid..........that was one of our arguments.......I did treat her like a princess ask anybode they all tell me that.......When we went out she used to bit** because she said I did not give her enough attention that i would talk to everyone but her............I have learn alot from all my books I have read and i did do and say some stupid things some times that is some things i am working on .and I did tell her this stuff...........She always tells me that you would not do those things for me when we were together...........I tell her that I am doing them now that I have learned from my mistakes................I am doing for you and me...........

frankd -

You answered your own question. You gave her everything, but emotional love. And that is the love that women need most.

Apparently that is what she is seaching for.

So how do you give it without being there...........I am learning what to do,or trying to.........My son can not find his SS card for getting his drivers licence.....I know WW knows where it is should I call her or should I leave it alone.................

Frank, she doesn't realize it. And maybe never will. Maybe she'll always be looking for the next good thing. Maybe she needs constant affirmation. It is obvious that she needs to mother this loser OM.

Pep made a very interesting observation. Makes me think....

This is true TJ what is your story do you have kids with WW and did the divorce make her wake up...............

Another lonely weekend .....took the kids down for solf ice cream..........ya sit here and wonder what WW is up to and wonder if they are even thing of you or D............

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong> WW did you realize what this is doing to your families and yourselfs.........Lets see she lost a new house for an appartment over a garage.......Lost our new jeep.........for a ford probe that runs like sh**......That is in his name..........Ready to lose her licence ....just got a letter saying shes got 5 points for speeding ........... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Frank you are not ALONE! 4 years ago when my wife wanted a divorce, she told me to leave and I did. I was hardly there anyway, the M sucked. I had to move to a bad side of town and get a roommate while she stayed in the house with the kids. She had NO JOB, was seeing OM who at the time was 21! She was going places trying to become a singer which is also his dream. She wouldn't let me keep the house while she pursued her dreams.

She lost the house (It was a rental but we did have an option to buy it..thank god I didnt!)
She lost her car
She ended up giving my physical custody of both kids so I endup moving my children from a 4 bedroom house with a garage, finished basement and a deck to a crappy 2 bedroom that I shared with a roommate.
My W ended up living in her CAR!
Then she moved into a boarding house!!
The OM lived with his parents and didn't really have a source of income.

You'd think that would wake someone up, but it DOESN"T! People wake up on their own time. After all these life lessons after we reconciled she she bumps into OM 3 moths later and guess what? she starts an EA (according to her no sex but how can I believe that when he's her EX??)

Frank you aren't alone and it makes absolutely NO SENSE WHATSOEVER, you cannot make sense out of insanity, and if you try you will only go insane yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

LOL.........I know it ain't funny but you have to laugh to keep from crying..........