Have any of you experienced that your WS splits from you and the OP because they realize that they just do not want to be married anymore. I have a feeling my h had this A because he did not want the committments of being married. I am not sure but just do not see him wanting to go be with the OW either, I have a feeling that he is just wanting to be single again. The reason I feel like this is that we never had a bad relationship. Never fighting, or arguments over money. I feel that it stems from his childhood, his family life where he saw his mom married 3x.

I am not sure, I just feel that I am putting all of the effort in and he is out there just wanting to be on his own. I just wanted to see if anyone out there had this happen where after they split up, he did not attempt to be with OW or BS.

I am not one to answer this, but I have read about it. I think it is referred to as an exit affair.

But maybe you should not give up so soon. Hopefully some older and wiser MBers will come along and help you.

Blessings,
RAP

Dear Lovetoomuch,

I know that there are such things as "exit" affairs, but I also think maybe in some cases, the affair wasn't begun with that in mind but that once the affair is exposed and you see how much damage has been done and how much work it will take to repair and rebuild, the easier thing to do would be to "swear off" marriage altogether.
I know personally that I had thoughts like that in the month or two after my affair was exposed. What was behind those thoughts was me thinking I had done too horrible a thing, thinking I had no clue what it takes to make a relationship last, not having faith in myself to do the work, etc. etc.
I remember thinking also that if my marriage didn't work out, then I would never get married again, not even to OM.
So I think it could be part of the fog. But do you know for sure that is what he is thinking?
Well, all I know is that right after exposure, everything is so overwhelming, that not being married at all looks pretty nice.
Fortunately, I didn't stay in that mode <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I hope this helped!

Best Wishes,

Julie

My WH has said to me several times he doesn't know if he can ever be married again. I definately think this is part of the fog talk and the guilt.