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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042 |
I hadn't spoken to WH since Friday, he was going to the beach and told me he would be back on Tuesday. When I hadn't heard from him I sent him an e-mail asking if he made it home safely. I also told him I went shopping for a crib for the babies room. I mentioned that I would need to use our pick up truck when I picked it up and I hoped it wouldn't be too difficult to put together. His response was "Let me know if you need me to pick up the crib. I can take care of that and putting it together. Just because I don't live there doesn't mean I can't help out."
How do I respond to this? He comes over weekly to do the cat box (I can't touch it due to the pregnancy), take care of the yard and what ever else he thinks needs to be done. He always asks if there is anything else I need him to do, but I say no.
I would guess that being needed is one of his EN's but I don't know. Before he left he told the MC that he didn't think I could take care of myself. All my friends couldn't believe that statement. I have always been an independent, strong spoken person. I think he meant I was too dependent on him emotionally. So I have made sure I had my act together when ever I see him (which lately is not very often) and everything is taken care of around the house that I can do.
Should I be asking him to help out around the house? Could he see my not asking him to help to be an LB? Or is it better for him to approach me first about helping out?
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380 |
Hi kloe,
I don't know if you are in a plan B since your WH moved out,presumably with OW? If so,I would not ask WH for help but ask another family memeber or friend to help with heavy duty stuff.If your WH is living with OW then let HER try to fill his EN voids, including being needed if that is one.
Not asking for help from WH isn't an LB.
If you are in a Plan A for some reason,then you could keep asking him for help but if he's still up to his neck in the A then I personally wouldn't even be asking him for a dime.
O
<small>[ July 28, 2004, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042 |
Octobergirl - WH moved in with his Mom. I have no idea if he is still seeing OW. He would like to give me the impression is he not seeing her, but I just don't know. So I am in Plan A, I don't think I could go to Plan B while I am pregnant.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
kloe - I would let him pick up the crib, and put it together. After all it is for his child. Then be sure to tell him what a wonderful job he did.
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