Ok, so WW came over to pick up the rest of her furniture. She said she was going to bring her girlfriend (this girl hangs in same croud as OP and met me once before). The first thing that I thought was that my WW would treat me like crap in front of her friend and try to play tough so I wasn't thrilled about it. Actually, her friend and WW were very nice to me as was I to them ( she must not be saying bad things about me). I told myself before they came that I would act my best and not get angry. I am also in the best shape that I have been in years and tan so made sure to wear a tank top so I would look sexy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . WW's friend first complimented how great the house was and later saw one of my paintings and said that's an awesome painting! Who did that? I said I did and she kept talking about how great it was etc. Also, WW kept looking at me and looking at my muscles almost like drooling over me LOL when we were close. The OM doesn't work out at all. She smiled at me a lot and I smiled back looking her in the eyes. I know she still has strong feelings for me I can see it. She also even called me babe at one point and caught herself. That's what she used to always call me when we were together. I also cracked a few joked and had both of them laughing a bit. I don't know, whether it did any good or not I am proud of myself and finally pulled it off without a hitch again. I realized also that the stuff she took is just stuff and I still have most things so it will have no bearing on a reconcile anyway even after she sells it. Just now she called me to thank me again for all of my help! Working already!

Atta boy! She's thinking about you.

GC

Congratulations! What a spirit lifter that must have been--both your wife noticing and you being able to have a good time.

I hope I can be so strong when my husband comes to visit next week..lol...though I'll have to do it for a whole week 24/7!

Juke, let me get this straight. The last view your w had of you was you looking hot and tanned in a tank top, her girlfriend oohed and aahed over your artwortk, you smiled and were pleasant.....

Gosh, Juke, I'm so proud of you.

Jenny

Good job Juke!
It sounds like you made all the right moves tonight.

Congratulations on no regrets tonight.
She's gotta be 2nd, 3rd and 4th guessing her decisions.

Props to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Way to go Juke!!!! Keep showing her that you are going to be OK no matter what she does...

Semper Fi!
RIF90

GOOD JOB JUKE!!! You STUD you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks guys. The best thing about these techniques is that they DO WORK. You can feel it and see it as it's happening. The feeling of achieving almost takes over the other feelings that u r holding inside when u do it right. If you can focus on knowing what u need to do, just doing it, and nothing else it is a good feeling. Especially when u see it work right in front of your eyes. Last night will just make her question what she is doing even more and have nothing but good thoughts about me. I bet OM didn't look so hot last night.

Oh yeah. It was also a victory to win over her friend because I bet OM or other friends asked did he act like a jerk? Or, what was he like? It gives proof that I am not a jerk at all and makes what WW is doing seem more ridiculous. Maybe she even asked WW why she would leave me for OP after meeting me. I am glad to still be plan A-ing. It really is my only chance to stop this before it is final. I realize that now.

juke

Now that you understand, YOU have the power to make this happen. Cudo's to you!

Keep it up, and pay careful attention to what your results might be. Learn and grow from both the successes and the failures.

Take the positives to heart, and if, and she might, push you to become negative to test you, don't bite. Stay strong, cool, calm, collected, tan and buff.

Remember, your words mean little, but your actions speak volumes!!

Way to go!

Juke - Way to go. You will be just fine. Now continue on with your life and let her simmer for awhile.


The really surprising thing to me is you can be completely without hope, and then the WS will suddenly come around. I have seen it over and over here.

Shattered D- Yeah. I will focus on doing my best to keep this up regardless of her behavior. She just has been getting nicer all the time lately. We will see if she gets mean again, but I doubt it.

Believer- I definately have hope that maybe even after DV she will come around. We will see. I know last night had an effect on her. I felt it and saw it in her eyes. I could see her heart thru her eyes. The sad thing is that she may feel that way and still keep herself from coming home and facing everyone in our lives. That is what I worry about. Not her wanting to come home. I really think that she does want to come home. I am sure she wishes she could go back in time (as do I) and make things different, but feels like it is too late to change things now. On the other hand, when my WW really wants something she goes after it. Who knows? Still sad at times, but know that I am doing my best here and that is all I can do.

I'd like to add something that I personally had a hard time remembering. Plan A is all about GIVING and expecting NOTHING in return. No matter what, don't give up on your Plan A, sounds like you're doing a better job at than I. It's only been in the last month or so, that I've been able to completly avoid the topic of our relationship when we talk.

Great job juke!!!!!!!

RWukovich - Yes. I am realizing that now also. It is giving, to WS, but also to yourself. When you behave in an honorable way it can't do anything but good for u regardless of the WS appreciating it. YOU can look at YOURSELF in the mirror and know that u held up your end of the deal to love and respect your WS for better or WORSE. When WS's head clears, there is no way for them to look back at your behavior with anything but amazement at how much love you have for them regardless of where they go or what they do. There is no way in the world that OP would treat them the same. No way. If they don't realize it now they will someday IMO.

Chackler- Thanks!

Juke,

U did good. Quite proud of U. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Plan A is about how the BS handles themselves. Showing their best. What is best? Being the type of individual you would want to be around.

As long as the WS acts sane, friendly and cordial, the BS can do the same. Others will notice and this could put a hole in the A by itself.

When the WS acts like an a$$, the BS needs to put more effort to being calm. Not reacting the way the WS is pushing and often the WS is pushing our buttons real hard. This is time it is the hardest to be in plan A.

The outcome though is that a good plan A disarms the affair. Maybe the BS had qualities to improve in the past but current and future look good. In many cases the BS looks real good both inside and out.

This also confuses the A. Yeah!!!! All the while the BS continues to gain strength.

What's next? Well that's up to the WS to decide (ws, xws or spouse). The BS is quite flexible and with each day gains more control over what was stolen. Recovery comes primarily in 2 states: Recovery of the BS then if the WS is willing to participate, recovery in the M.

Time is on the side of the BS more than we realize.

JMHO,
L.

<small>[ July 31, 2004, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>