FWW and I have been on the fast track of recovery for about three months now. Things are going really well BUT, and you see this is a big butt, her family has decided that I must be an awful person to have driven there darling daughter/sister to having an A. Her mother actually told me that she didn't care if we stayed together or not and that sometimes it's best to just "give up". FWW's sister informed me that I have a control problem... this was due to the fact that while FWW was having the A I didn't like her sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night and tried to stop her from doing so.

Okay, so I could write this off to just another bad situation with the in-laws but it seems that they have taken to bad mouthing me to my W which in turn causes her to choose sides. Luckly at this point she is firmly on my/our side but she has always been very close to her family and I feel at some point this will become a major issue.

Neither her mother or her sister are happy in their marriages and I think that they don't want Mrs. E to be happy in her's.

Has anyone run into anything like this? Any suggestions on how to handle it. I'd hate to go through everything we have and then have her family come between us.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEYYYAAAAAAAHHHHH
[!]

My official, kickboxing noise that I make, which also applies to disrespectfull comments from other people. I am the BS, and when I decided to remain in my marriage, you surely have no trouble believing that everyone had an opinion. Family, friends, co-workers..and I think the neighbors dog gave me a funny look [winks]. My position, is that to be disrespectfull to my husband is to be disrespecfull to me by proxy. So basically, anyone who felt the need to say something nasty about my husband to me, got the pleasure of dealing with me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> . This isn't as much fun as it sounds like. I had been a bridesmaid in a friends wedding, when my husband was disinvited, I bowed out as well...when my mother [very close to me] couldn't contain her anger on my behalf I cut contact with her until she was able...this really throws a damper on my venting, ya know?! This is not all loss..not all sacrifice..my husband knew he was at fault, knew he didn't deserve my loyalty..how much did it gladden his heart [as well as heap coals on his head] that his most fierce defender, was also his BS? I do not now, nor will I ever defend what he has done..but while he is my husband he belongs to me, and I protect what is mine. I expect the same in return.

So, my question to you is...why is your wife allowing this sabotage? It has been my experience that people can and do keep a civil tongue in their head when their efforts are fruitless. If they are continuing to disdain you and your marriage, why are they in the picture? There comes a time to draw a line and boldly declare.. bugs will be squashed!

Cheers--Noodle

E, beware of that fast track. The corners are dangerous. This business with the in-laws is a tight one.

GC

Noodle, just as you, I am the BS and as I tell FWW it feels like the in-laws are throwing salt on an open wound. I stick by their daughter through all of this turmoil SHE put us through and it is me that is being looked down on <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I just don't get it.

As far as contact with them it has been very limited but as I mentioned W has always been very close to her family.

She did tell her mother that she didn't want to have to choose but if she did she was firmly in my corner. I just see it as a potential pit fall down the road. I don't want her to cut off contact and I'm not real sure I give a big red rats @ss if they like me or not but I do wish they would not bad mouth me and my M. Since W made that comment to MIL she has tended to just pretend that I don't exist and just bad mouth M in general.

GC you are correct it is a tricky curve in the road and that is why I am so concerned. RIght now W says she doesn't care what they think or if she has contact but I know deep down it hurts her deeply and as Eric Clapton would say, if it hurts you it hurts me too.

Top of the morning to everyone and always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!