I just don't kknow how long I can do this. I'm waiting around for my H to come out of the FOG. I just can't live like this. I want to be loved and wanted. I feel like telling my H that he has OW love now so he doesn't need mine anymore. I just don't think I can handle this. I feel like he's getting his way by not being here for me but by coming over everyday to see our son. He needs to realize that if he's out of the picture that he's not going to be able to come by like that everyday. What do I do?????? I feel so scared and ALONE. Help!!!!!

Treereich, is legal separation recognized in your state? You may be able to set up a visitation schedule if it is. Just a thought.

This has not been going on long for you. Have you seen a counselor yet? Talked with your family doc?

TreeReich,

I am very sorry for you with a child involved. We don't have one and I can not imagine the desperation that you feel. Getting a legal document that governs when and where your WS can see your child should be explored. It will give you the feeling of taking some control over your situation and also send a message to your WS that he CAN NOT dictate your life according to his whims and his needs.

You are in my prayers as is your child.

TREE
I feel your pain .... I know how badly it hurts to see him .... you do have to "talk" to someone .... find out about you .... "Get some tools for your toolbox" (My therapist told me that the 1st night of therapy).

You have to hold it together for your son and yourself. You will not be able to be the "strong" spouse if you're not strong.

Maybe start with a call to your family doctor .... maybe they help .... whether they prescribe an antidepressant or just refer to a good therapist/councelor .... it will help you to be strong and emotionally stable ... and be able to make clearer sound minded decisions ... doesn't that sound better than emotional mess and confusion anyday, right. Call now ... don't have a doctor ... use the blue pages of your telephone book .... if you have a close friend ... don't try hold everything in.

I won't be able to have handle "our" situation if I wasn't "recovering" (from depression) and I know my therapist is only a phone call away and since I am recovering I have allowed myself to have a great support system (including my H).

God Bless You and Keep you.

Thank you! I've talked to 2 friends about the whole situation. We actually went to one counseling session and are supposed to go back next week. My son wants to stay the night again over where my H is. It just kills me to let him go over there. I want him home with me. I just don't know what to do. I don't know weather to just let him go or fight for our M anymore. I just don't see things changing and am losing all hope. How can I love someone who has feelings for someone else. I just don't know how to do it!!!! I'm sitting here in tears right now just not knowing where to turn. My family lives out of state. We live near ALL of his family so he has support. I don't..only friends. I just feel so lost!!!!
He usually comes by after work. It's 5:10 and he's still not here hich of course has my mind wondering where he is. My son is waiting to see his father and keeps asking me where daddy is...I don't even know what to say. I just feel so lost. I'm trying to be strong for my son and focus on him and me right now but it all just seems so hopeless. I'm really having a bad day!!!!

Tree:

I'm sitting here thing of you and I'm also listening to a song by Amy Grant (Somewhere down the Road - Album "Behind The Eyes")

" Somewhere down the road
There'll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Though we cannot see it now
Somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road...."

Hold on!!!!!

Brown,
Thank you so musch for that!!!!!! I'm going to print that out and read it everyday!!!!! I went for a LONG walk. I feel beter. My H came home and we had a LONG talk. He admitted that he met the OW for lunch on Friday. He says he needs to make things right on that end...he says she's hurting also and he's trying to end it properly. I told him that I didn't want him coming around right now until he ends that with her. I am OVER it!!!!! I am protecting myself from now on. I also told him that I can't give him any more of me because I have nothing left. I just have to distance myself from this for a little while. I'm tired of crying and feeling so much pain. I don't know if that was the right thing to do but I need to focus on ME!!!!
He did tell me that he wasn't ready to let me go so maybe he will wake up!!!! I just don't know how to ever trust again. It's going to be a very long road ahead.

tree,
I do understand how you feel ... I just had a "talk" to my H ... about his EA ... about his CG (Complusive Gambling). It really wasn't even about that. I am feeling very confused myself ... I don't know which way is up. He said (w/ compassion), he can't handle the Jerkyl and Hyde S#!t ... and he doesn't know what I want him to say. I want him to say all the things he told me once upon a time (even when I didn't want to hear them). B/C then I knew how much he loved and I had to learn to accept it. Now, he telling me things I don't want to hear <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> and I don't want to hear it. (Typical female, Huh?).

This will not be easy (on any of us - you - me - our WH's - our children). I pray we all be okay when the dust settles.

(And I want be like FamilyMatters, B/C his name says so much ... I think that's what it is all about and we all just want to find our back (or forward) to that point.

I've got your back ... "type it" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> if you need it. I pray I can help.

God bless you

I will say a prayer for all of us tonight. All I can do now is pray and hope for the best. I'm going to bed. I need some sleep. Good night to you all and hope you all have sweet dreams and peaceful thoughts.