My WH is coming back from his deployment on Sunday and I am just a nervous wreck. Quite a bit has happened in the last few days...I exposed the A to OW parents (they haven't told her they know yet, since she is going to visit them on Monday they plan on doing it then) and I am SURE that WH is going to explode when he finds out next week. While talking with her mom I found out she is only 22 (WH is 30) and this bothers me and brings hope at the same time. I found out that he sent a large portion of his personal belongings to her apartment rather than here. He denies it but I have the tracking number. Although he is supposedly coming home for two months to see if he wants to work on things, all indications are that he is already planning on moving out of state to be with her and I sense that he is not really planning on staying all of the two months. UGH.
I am planning on doing my very best at PLAN A and we are taking a trip to Disneyland with our children right after he comes back, but I am just so nervous that I won't have the time to help lead him out of the fog. He has built up all these "problems" to justify his A and there is such a short timeframe to bring him around. After being separated by the deployment for the last 11 months I am worrying myself into the ground that he's detached himself too much to be reached. They had 4 months together with no bills, no kids, no reality on a Carribean Island. Granted, it was stressful and they had to hide the relationship, but getting him to see that what we have here is real and worthwhile compared to that may be a challenge. Sorry I'm rambling on. If it wasn't for the Ativan, it would be so much worse! If you can spare some prayers, please keep us in yours. We'll need them!

Ok. One more day. He comes home tomorrow afternoon. This is so hard for me. I remember the last time he came back from a deployment. It was eight years ago and he had been gone for 8 months. I was so happy and excited that I couldn't sleep for two days before he came back. This time my heart is breaking knowing the struggle I have ahead to even get him to the point of wanting to try and save our marriage. I was at the mall yesterday with the wife of a soldier who is with my husband. She made a comment about how she just couldn't stop thinking that this time he's home for good, not just a R&R vacation. She gets to keep him. I tell you, this brought on an anxiety attack of HUGE proportions within about half an hour. The thoughts that I have no idea how long WH will be home and knowing that he is secretly planning on moving to Fort Sam Houston to be with OW while saying he is working on our M was just too much. It was embarassing to have an anxiety attack in such a public place when I have actually been doing pretty good lately, considering the circumstances at least. At least I was able to get out of there before it hit full force.
I'm so ready to enact PLAN A but I am also afraid it will be too much for me to do. I just want to scream at him "LOOK!! Look at what you are doing." He just doesn't make sense to me and the lies....I just want to throw them in his face and show him that he's not as smart as he thinks. BUT, I'm not going to do those things. I went out yesterday and bought a few puzzles and board games that I know the girls will enjoy and some floor pillows so we can all spend some time in the evenings on the floor playing. The kids and I actually do play checkers a lot like that but I figure we can use some other things to entice him to join us. I go back to work on Tuesday, so I won't just be sitting around the house. I only work a 5 hours a day though, which I am glad for because I will be able to spend time with everyone still. I also bought a few new outfits and a new perfume which I know he'll like. I plan on setting up a babysitter at least one or two nights a week so we can go out. If he doesn't want to go, I will cancel the sitter and go myself, even if I only end up over at a girlfriends house. I've got his favorite meals planned, some household repairs that I need for him to do, and I am going to not bring up our R even if it kills me. Cheerful, cheerful, and joyous:) Lord help me!!!!! If I can do all this, I'm going take myself off to a weekend at the spa when things finally get better.
I think this is going to end up as one of the shortest AND longest days of my life.

Sweetie -

You can do this. I will pray for you to see the strength you have.
Sounds like you have everything planned out right. Expect him to be cold and distant. That is how they get. But you continue to be the lighthouse to show him the way home. He is probably living in his fantasy world. But we all know it is just that - fantasy.
Remember that the best thing may be for him to move in with his 22 year old OW. That would wake him up faster than anything. I know that is not what you want, but often breaks the spell.
So relax, you can do this. If you feel like LBing, come here and LB away. We will help you do this.

Thank you, Believer. I am going to do my best to make it through this period. His has given a little less than a two month timeframe to get to the point of working on things, which is really what worries me. If he was home for good with no out of state job offers or opportunities to move in with OW, I know we would work this out. I truly believe his being gone for the majority of the last year has muddled his brain. His heart, mind and many of his belongings are already in another state with OW. But - I am determined to bring everything back here with me and the kids. A little over 24 hours now until we pick him up. I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself to be a good PLAN A wife. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />