Ok, I followed some advice from my other thread and copied what I could of OW letters. I can't copy to cards or journal because I only have a fax machine at home. I re-read the letters after copying them and now I am not sure I want this jerk. Her letters imply that H told OW that our D is a "basketcase" and it is because of me. According to her letters I am "unstable" and "psycho" and she never wants HER child under my influence. (she is referring to future OC) Also, and this was what really killed me. She sent him a Father's day card that implied that either she was already pg or trying to do so. He did not tell me about the pg until early July and claims it was totally unexpected.

Maybe I am reacting to her words again, but I do not want this woman in my life any longer!!!!

I just want to scream! I have managed to be civil on the phone with H three times today. I thought things were going so well..

Thanks for letting me vent here.

K

Go to kinko's or any copy store and get those copies.

What you want is also what your H said to the OW in writing.

NOTE: OWs must make history, must create chaos in order for the A to continue. Realize that her only strength is to make you look bad.
Use this to your advantage.

The OW I had to deal with called me a psycho lesbian who was embezzling from my company while having an A with my FIL. Oh and there's more. Are you cringing yet? The OWs have to make up stuff, otherwise, it w/b too easy to blow a hole right threw their thinly veiled A.

Don't let her have that power. You do your best plan A and when you are done, go to plan B.

If I didn't know better, I'd think your OW was related to the one I had to deal with. She isn't 48 and chinese by chance is she? ???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.

Orchid,

You made me laugh! Thanks so much. No she is not chinese and more like 38. You would think from her behavior that she were not a mother of 4 and a Christian! Yes, I know you are right that her only justification is to make me out to be really bad. My H knows the truth. It just hurts that he has betrayed me like this. Not just the A, but telling OW that I wanted another baby.

Thanks for your wisdom.

K

Glad you were able to smile through your horrible situation. That's what is great about MB.

You know with all the crap I went through, I still survived. I know you can also.

Remember you are better than the OW. If she was a christian, she's not one now. Do you really think God would sanction her actions as is?

My H was a christian before the A. He hooked up with the OW and lost all his sense of morality. He even told our elders that he knew the A was bad but was not sorry. So our elders had no choice but to put him out of our congregation.

Now that the fog has cleared, my H has to earn his way back. Not hard to do, he has to also show value of his beliefs. He has to earn back the trust that he lost.

I am glad it is not me that has to walk down that path. But I do have to live through it.

Keep posting. It will be bumpy but it will get better.

L.

Well, MC did not go well last night and I ended up not telling about my discovery of cards/letters from OW. I decided to sleep on it. I woke up at 5 am and told H about my discovery. You need to understand that snooping is a major LB to H. I told him that because of all the ugliness about me in those letters I am no longer sure how I feel about him. It indicates to me how much he badmouthed me. He said he no longer does that, but yes he did exagerate about me to OW. I told him if he is willing to get off the fence and work on our marriage and be honest from here on out, I will be honest too. Other than that we will be separating and probably headed for Dv. The way he left this morning I believe we will be over. Because of the P and soon to be OC, he is not sure he wants to give OW up. Ok, I did most of this without LBing and I was pretty calm. But the fact is I really don't know how I feel about H anymore. I am sickened by the type of woman he chose to bring into our lives. I explained to H that OC can still be in his life without direct C with OW. I explained about the courts. He has a lot to think about. I will no longer put up with the lies.

I feel sick and I have to go to work. If anyone out there is a believer, please pray for me.

Thank you.

K

Killnme -

I too struggle with the words and actions that took place with my H's A. I am now in recovery and still struggle with that. Your sitch is different because your H is still in the A or seems to be at least.

I will tell you that I have struggled to forget the words he shared with FOW. It makes me sick to my stomach and I'd give anything if I could make him take each statement back...but I can't.

Please understand that he is so in the FOG right now that he does not know what he's saying and when he wakes up he'll realize that. It's something WSs do to convince themselves the A is right and where they should be. It's hard to swallow but it's not impossible.

I am a believer and I will pray for you.

Hang in there.

Thank HW for both the prayers and the understanding words. I have been following your story and will keep you in my prayers as well.

Thank you.

K

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by killnme:
<strong> Well, MC did not go well last night and I ended up not telling about my discovery of cards/letters from OW. I decided to sleep on it. I woke up at 5 am and told H about my discovery. You need to understand that snooping is a major LB to H. I told him that because of all the ugliness about me in those letters I am no longer sure how I feel about him. It indicates to me how much he badmouthed me. He said he no longer does that, but yes he did exagerate about me to OW. I told him if he is willing to get off the fence and work on our marriage and be honest from here on out, I will be honest too. Other than that we will be separating and probably headed for Dv. The way he left this morning I believe we will be over. Because of the P and soon to be OC, he is not sure he wants to give OW up. Ok, I did most of this without LBing and I was pretty calm. But the fact is I really don't know how I feel about H anymore. I am sickened by the type of woman he chose to bring into our lives. I explained to H that OC can still be in his life without direct C with OW. I explained about the courts. He has a lot to think about. I will no longer put up with the lies.

I feel sick and I have to go to work. If anyone out there is a believer, please pray for me.

Thank you.

K </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">K,
If it is any consolation, my WS left the 1st time PBR (Ow's mb nickname - pyscho babble rabbit) claimed prego (she did this 3 times). The first time he felt he had to leave to care for a child that there was no proof of pregnancy (she faked it 3 times and even called to tell me).

Eventually he figured out that even if an OC happened, he needed to handle it with us and through me.

You can go over to the preg/child board to get more support. They are quite equipped to help you there.

Also, I recommend you find out your rights in your state. In CA since I am the one who carries the medical, as long as we were married I would have been responsible for putting the OC on my medical coverage. YUCK!!! In fact the OW asked for pre-natal care @$100.00 per mo. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Also child support would have been granted.

Becareful, there are some women who make it their career to do this to families. They think it is their right and do it without regret.

Your job is to protect you and your family's assets. Talk to a lawyer or family court. Do a background check on the OW. See if ROs were filed against her in the past. Check her driving record. Hire a PI to do a complete background check if you are not able.

take care,
L.

Orchid,

Thanks for the reply. I will post on the other board but wanted to mention a couple things. One, I live in CA and I carry the insurance in our family. If I dv my H do i have to cover OC? I don't mean to sound selfish, if my H wants C with OC WITH me then I am willing to love his OC. But I don't want to be in this position if H continues to C OW or if she continues to tear me apart. Also, do you know if in CA if my income as well as H's income would count toward cs? No, the pregnancy has not been confirmed and H has supposedly not seen her to confirm that she looks pregnant. She tells him she doesn't have $$ to see a doctor. I asked H if he was suspicious and he said "I have wondered about it".

thanks again for the support. My youngest has pnuemonia and I spent all am in the ER. I need to go pick up the antibiotics for the poor little guy.

K

Oh that's scary. This OW sounds like PBR.

As for you, both you incomes will come into play on the child support issue. If you are married and cover his medical, you will be liable to cover the OCs and maybe even the OWs. YUCK!!!

In these cases it c/b best t/b divorced. So find out if her threat is real.

Have you done a background check yet? Does she have a crimminal record?

E-mail me. I have extra info if you are in our area.

take care,
L.