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Joined: Aug 2004
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shmaley Offline OP
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Jennifer C. said I had done very well. And that it was definitly time for Plan B. Right now I am struggling with the mind set that has started to grip me. Just kind of wanting to move on, not wanting to wait. Mr. Taker is jumping up and down and beating on the walls, telling me that this whole thing stinks is bad deal blah blah blah.... It's just tough not getting any EN's satisfied you know? I should probably take a much closer look at exactly what my EN's are and methodically pick people that are safe for me to satisfy them through.

Right now I am going nuts and I'm just starting my BIG wait. Which brings me to the question what does an unavailable single male with no children do to have fun or relax??? I don't know who that person is or how they live. And I can't go back to who I was when I was single and searching!?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

C.

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shmaley Offline OP
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Yea, it's my birthday!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

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Hey Shmaley,

I posted a separate thread looking for you. Didn't know you were out celebrating getting a year older!!! LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My son and I along with H just got a year older also....wait.... son and H got a year older, at my age I get to get a year younger!!! LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Plan B will bring you some relief though she isn't communicating anyway. When she sees you moving forward it may shake her world. It may.

As for how to keep you busy, well there are a lot of suggestions. U R a talented guy, get out there and share that talent. Young ones s/b available to be introduced to your field of specialization. It is a piece our educational system has put on the back burner for many years and it s/b rekindled since it s/b a integral part of our lives. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am sure if you put your mind to work, you will be kept very busy. ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

take care,
L.

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shmaley Offline OP
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Hey everybody.

Just thought I'd give a little update. Been about 10 days since my last post. A record for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I sent off my Plan B letter. One to WW one to OM and one to the IL's. The IL's responded back quickly. MIL said that she told FIL to take down all of WW's pictures just a couple of days before. MIL says that she refuses to be hurt anymore by WW's actions. WW is flying there for Christmas but is not on speaking terms with MIL and very strained terms with FIL right now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Letters also went out to OM's parents asking for their support. I also sent a picture of WW and I with MIL and FIL. We will see soon enough what effect that will have if any. WW is in Chicago right now and lied to her parents about that also. I told them the truth and also told them about OM's visit here. MIL was pretty pissed to say the least. However, as I said she is not on speaking terms with WW right now anyways. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I sent all these letters to AD my other family confidant on WW's side. I asked AD to share them with the grandparents so that they would know more. They have really been struggling with all of this and need all the info they can get. I know that they are in such a struggle to understand right now and anything that I can give them will help them build their end resolve.

I collared one of the betrayers tonight and gave her a letter that I had her read in front of me. It said:

Betrayer,

I was shocked and deeply saddened to discover that you were involved in paying for a plane ticket to bring my wife's lover to town. It is difficult for me to understand why you would do such a thing. I thought of you as my friend and a friend of myself and WW’s marriage.

Betrayer, I want you to know that I have forgiven you for your actions even though I do not understand them. However, it is apparant to me that you are neither my friend or the good person that I thought you were. Please do not call me ever again as I cannot afford to have you in my life or my home.

C.

She took it better than I expected knowing her personality as I do. I felt really really bad doing it but it was my obligation. Bad deeds should not go unpunished and I will not be apart of sheltering her from her own reality. But it hurt....a lot. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Besides that I spoke with a mutual friend of ours tonight and told him what was up. Got a lot of support that was helpful. He had been wondering why WW had not been returning his communications. he told me to call him ANYTIME of day or night. He is a true blue friend I think. It is so hard to decide who to trust nowadays. There are definitely sides to this thing. Newbies beware!!! The earlier you realize this the better off you will be. There will be pinch hitters along the way too so watch out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Well, it's 3:00am here and I'm about ready to take a jog around the block....Still trying to wind down from the betrayer confrontation. I'll be around later for updates.

God Bless

C.

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Happy belated Bday...

Good to see you doing fine. Plan B will be good for you. Dont worry about it much. It will be quite liberating once you get the hang of plan ME...take care

<small>[ November 27, 2004, 04:06 AM: Message edited by: zizzycool ]</small>

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shmaley Offline OP
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Update:

Well, those letters hit their mark. Heard about it through the grapevine. OM's mother is in a nursing home with MS. I haven't been contacted by her but I'm sure the news didn't make her happy. It wasn't my intent to burden an already burdened soul but I do not feel any guilt. That is all on WW and OM. OM's step-father whom he hadn't seen since 97' didn't call either. But I heard that OM was real confused as to how I got an address that he didn't even have. [censored]. I hope he's looking over his shoulder and worrying.

And about WW I don't really talk about her at all and if I think of her in conversation I suppress it. I can't afford those sorts of things. I have more anger towards her now and if I were to continue speaking about her and having to explain her actions to others it would just build me into a rage. I'm still interested in what is happening but I dread the times I have to talk about it. Did a little bit of talking about her tonight and it just made me feel worse. She has forced me into the role of a parent time and time again and it's just rediculous. I still struggle to percieve how someone can remain so confused for so long.

And as far an my marriage goes.....Well, most of the time 99% I want to be done with it. I really wish it was over. I wish I could move on and date and find someone else etc.... But married people don't date do they. At least this one doesn't. Whenever someone suggests to me that I date right now I just want to treat them like Moe always treated Larry or Curly. They truly don't understand anything. So in a way this inhibits me from moving forward for a divorce because I don't want to feel like I am doing it out of selfish
(emotional needs) reasons. I would still try to work things out if she came back but I really hope she doesn't. I can do better and it will be a huge struggle when I have already endured a lot. And whose to say it won't happen all over again. It would be different the second time but still painful.

So in summary I really wish this was over with. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> SO I COULD GET ON WITH THE GOOD PART OF MY LIFE THAT IS LEFT.

Well, I don't have anything positive or constructive left to say about this so G'night and God Bless.

C.

Joined: Apr 2004
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I wish I could move on and date and find someone else etc.... But married people don't date do they. At least this one doesn't. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Right there with you!

I'll read your post later on, it was hard for me to find this thread back.

Ok, take care

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