Here's the story, My wife and I have been togheter for about 8 years now. About a year into our relationship she got pregnant, and as we were both young at the time, I was 20 and she was 19, that scared the **** out of me.
Bit of background info, I am an only child and my parents have split up since I was about 12, my wife comes from a family of 5 and her parents are still togheter and very much in love. So in a way she wanted children and was more excited about having a baby then I was.
So unfortunately we started to have problems, lack of comunication lack of all sort of things and we started to grow appart, but as both our families are fairly religious, we were sort of convinced to get married before the child was born (we were planning to one day, just not yet). Don't get me wrong, we loved eachother but things just weren't right, I beleive it was related to being to young for that kind of responsability.
Anyway long story short, I cheated on her, with a friend of hers who was single and always seemed to be around our house. I hate myself for this, I wish I can go back and erase what I did, I wish it never happened (biggest mistake of my life), but unfortunately it did. Well sooner or later she found out about it, I denied it and things didn't get any better, and about 3 years into the marriage it all came out in the open, also the fact that she had an affair with one of my friends (after sort of finding out about mine), the **** really hit the fan and we kind of separated, I moved out, by this time we had our first son and another 2 children, another boy and a girl. I also had changed my entire outlook on life, like every other parent I am no longer afraid of children, I love my kids they are the joy of my life.
Anyway, so we separated for a few months, and started to miss eachother, saw eachother every day and still had sex togheter. After a few months of talking and stuff we decided to move back in togheter and we've been togheter ever since, about 2 years or so. And during this time I really thought things were looking up, we started to talk more, sex was getting better and more often, we had lots of fun togheter and really tried to be honest and open with eachother. So you know I really thought things were slowly getting better, I thought we were growing up and I was falling more and more in love with my wife every day, I was really happy and looking forward to the rest of our lifes togheter, and truly beleived my wife was the same, I mean she showed affection, she wasn't distant, we had our arguments every now and then, but nothing serious or to often.
So you can imagine my disbelief and confusion about 4 weeks ago, when after a bit of an argument, she said to me that she wants out, she's not happy she said. I asked her, and she assured me that there is no one else in her life and that she still loves me, but she's not happy and she hasnt really been since we've got back togheter about 2 years or so ago.
What can I do, I am madly in love with my wife, and I am crazy about my children, I would do anything to save our marriage, ANYTHING, but she has her mind set on moving out and being alone for a while, while I on the other hand, I am terrified about being alone. I want to raise our children togheter and grow old togheter.
Any suggestions, any advice anything at all would be greatly apreciated, I will try and talk to her about seeing a marriage conselor and I will read every thing on this site. I think also that I have been making many withdrawls out of the Love Bank and she does make quite a few deposits, so thats gonna b a point to start working on.
Any help please?
