H's mom didn't think I should have written this letter, which went out to H's groomsmen. I am fairly close with all his buddies from the wedding and they were all called when H left drunk the night he dropped the bomb...was worried about H and needed to see if he had gone to one of his buddies ( he hadn't). Anyways, they already know what is going on so I thought keeping them in tune was appropriate. I don't think I said anything that was bad, did I? Did I just make a mistake? She thinks I am coming off desperate, which I really don't want to see that way but some days I certainly feel that way. Help!!!
August 20, 2004
Dear friends,
I never dreamed that I’d be writing this letter today. All of you shared in our very special day on June 17, 2001 and many of you witnessed the growth of H and my bond from day one….Tracy and Dan, remember our double date at Open Bar in Pacific Beach? Donnie, Whitney, Marc, Jolene…remember hanging at the Irish bar in San Francisco (distinctly remember the chair fights!). Tim, remember jamming to 80’s All Starz at Buffalo Joe’s? Ken, Jen, Tony, Melissa…I remember joining you for Mexican food in Vista! Carroll, remember our runs up Mount Soledad? It has been my pleasure getting to know each one of you throughout these past 3 years. Despite the pain I feel right now, I would not give up these past 3 years because I have met a lot of amazing people like yourselves.
By now, you are all aware of the devastation I am experiencing because of unfaithful actions Scott chose to engage in this past year. I will forever be confused about what lead H to stray from what I thought was a wonderful marriage, but I have to accept who he has chosen to become and the path he has seemingly chosen to take in life. Despite my attempts to try to salvage our marriage, H seems very adamant about divorce. He knows how I feel and knows that I will forgive him if he only would have the courage to communicate with me about things he was feeling discontent about as well as face whatever issues lead him to betray me. For whatever reason, he refuses to seek help and refuses to try to work things out with me. In fact, he openly admits to now be actively dating other woman and has signed a 1-year lease in a new apartment.
You all have known H longer than I have, but in hearing some of the stories from previous relationships, I guess this is not new behavior that he is engaging in. I am just afraid that if H fails to seek out help now, whatever relationship he chooses to engage in down the line will lead to similar heartbreak. In getting advice from marriage counselors, I have been told to focus on myself for awhile and let H be. I guess what I don’t hear or see, I don’t know. Every time I think of him with another woman, I get nauseous and every time, he throws some demoralizing comments towards me, I lose a lot of the respect I once had from him. By letting Scott alone for the time being, I hope to protect whatever love and respect I have left for him. And perhaps, some of the fog he is acting out in right now will lift and the H I fell in love will come home…this would ultimately be my hope.
I just wanted to thank you all for helping, listening, and being there for me in what has proven to be the most emotional 3 months of my life. I realize it must feel weird being in the middle, but I hope to stay in touch with all of you regardless of what the future holds for H and I. Perhaps my next letter will be a more positive one, but for now, I wanted to let you know what is happening.
Thanks again for your love and support,
August 20, 2004
Dear friends,
I never dreamed that I’d be writing this letter today. All of you shared in our very special day on June 17, 2001 and many of you witnessed the growth of Scott and my bond from day one….Tracy and Dan, remember our double date at Open Bar in Pacific Beach? Donnie, Whitney, Marc, Jolene…remember hanging at the Irish bar in San Francisco (distinctly remember the chair fights!). Tim, remember jamming to 80’s All Starz at Buffalo Joe’s? Ken, Jen, Tony, Melissa…I remember joining you for Mexican food in Vista! Carroll, remember our runs up Mount Soledad? It has been my pleasure getting to know each one of you throughout these past 3 years. Despite the pain I feel right now, I would not give up these past 3 years because I have met a lot of amazing people like yourselves.
By now, you are all aware of the devastation I am experiencing because of unfaithful actions Scott chose to engage in this past year. I will forever be confused about what lead Scott to stray from what I thought was a wonderful marriage, but I have to accept who he has chosen to become and the path he has seemingly chosen to take in life. Despite my attempts to try to salvage our marriage, Scott seems very adamant about divorce. He knows how I feel and knows that I will forgive him if he only would have the courage to communicate with me about things he was feeling discontent about as well as face whatever issues lead him to betray me. For whatever reason, he refuses to seek help and refuses to try to work things out with me. In fact, he openly admits to now be actively dating other woman and has signed a 1-year lease in a new apartment.
You all have known Scott longer than I have, but in hearing some of the stories from previous relationships, I guess this is not new behavior that he is engaging in. I am just afraid that if Scott fails to seek out help now, whatever relationship he chooses to engage in down the line will lead to similar heartbreak. In getting advice from marriage counselors, I have been told to focus on myself for awhile and let Scott be. I guess what I don’t hear or see, I don’t know. Every time I think of him with another woman, I get nauseous and every time, he throws some demoralizing comments towards me, I lose a lot of the respect I once had from him. By letting Scott alone for the time being, I hope to protect whatever love and respect I have left for him. And perhaps, some of the fog he is acting out in right now will lift and the Scott I fell in love will come home…this would ultimately be my hope.
I just wanted to thank you all for helping, listening, and being there for me in what has proven to be the most emotional 3 months of my life. I realize it must feel weird being in the middle, but I hope to stay in touch with all of you regardless of what the future holds for H and I. Perhaps my next letter will be a more positive one, but for now, I wanted to let you know what is happening.
Thanks again for your love and support,
Me: 28 yo faithful wife
Him: 30 yo unfaithful husband
Married 3 years; dropped the bomb and left me 5/04 after informing me of affair he had fall '03-1/04; he ended the affair but now admits to be dating other woman. Although he is being nicer to me now...see other posts
