Well today H said goodbye to OW. Perhaps it's not entirely for the reasons I would have liked - he told her it was make or break time for our marriage. he admits that right now - he doesn't even like me - and tell you honestly - I don't like him (let alone love him) very much right now. The last few years and the last 3 months imparticular have taken atremendous toll on my love bank. I admitted to him over lunch today that I was pretty well bankrupted as well. HJis first response was - don't tell me that we both lack the reserves to make this work. I don't know how to do this.

Everything I ahve done for years has fallen flat on him - he wants to know the me - the real me, that specail part of me - as he refers to it "the beauty of me". I am terrified ot open myself up to him in anyway - I don't trust him - I ahve been hurt so many times - and he doesn't trust me emotionally - I have not protected his feelings, have not provided a safe and comfortable place for him.

How do you truly start over -

Get a professional counselor who is pro-marriage and has tons of experience...

You need to acquire the correct tools for intimacy. Start with the EN's questionnaire.

If you can afford it, why not counsel with Harleys?

If this is going to work, you'll need an expert.

Pep