I have been working on the Plan B letter and would like to know your thoughts. Thanks for input--here it is:

My Dearest H,

This is a very difficult letter for me to write. I have thought a lot about our marriage and where we are going.

You know my thoughts and feelings. I love you and have ALWAYS cherished you with my heart, my mind and my body. I want to be with you and work on making our marriage the best ever. Larry, I am ready, not just to live together, but to devote wholeheartedly to our marriage. I commit to you and our marriage, but it takes two of us. I know that when we try together we are a great team. I believe we can learn from our mistakes and grow from them. With effort and desire, we can rebuild the love and become a family again. I believe we can have a marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts. I believe we can have a happy, loving, fulfilling marriage

I apologize to you for my part in creating the conditions that helped make your affair possible. I made you feel that other things were more important than you—that is the furthest from the truth. You are my Super Star. You are the most important, special person to me above all else. I often put my family and feelings first. I am sorry for hurting you—by saying and doing things in anger. I now realize the competitive nature of our relationship is not healthy because we are teammates. I am willing to avoid the mistakes I have made in the past and create a NEW life for us that will meet your needs. You have noticed the changes in me and see that I am trying. I want to continue to grow as a person and as your partner.

I’ve loved you for over twenty years. I look back through our life and choose now to only remember the good times and learn from the bad. I am trying to forgive whatever pain you have caused me and hope that in time you will forgive me too. I hope with all of my heart that we can both put aside our harsh feelings and frustrations and see the good and the hope.

You have told me you have not made up your mind. I feel so much for you as I know this is very difficult. However, you have chosen to spend time with one another person and be in contact with her. I just cannot bear to be with you or see you while you are still involved and giving your emotional connection to someone else. To preserve the love I have for you, I have come to a decision on my own. I need to stop seeing or talking to you under these conditions. The current situation is becoming extremely hurtful for me. The past few months have been a difficult time for me, the most emotionally traumatic in my life. Please know that this is not to punish you but to protect my feelings for you and to give our marriage the best chances for recovery. If we continue as we are now, there would be nothing left. I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you in this way. If you choose to come back and work on our marriage, I want to know that you made the decision on your own.

As soon as you are willing to permanently separate from the other woman, demonstrate it in a credible way, and are willing to discuss a plan to work on our marriage, then I will be willing to talk about our future.

I have loved you for so long and continue to love you today. I want to be able to rebuild our marriage into a new life where we meet each other's emotional needs and do everything that makes both of us both happy. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me and I want you to be my best friend, my lover and my husband.

I love you with all my heart,

<small>[ August 25, 2004, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>

Sure,

Looks very, very good!

Thanks, K, for your response. I really appreciate. This is such a tough thing--just like everyone else, didn't think I would ever be here.

You husband is a lucky man, Sure.

I hope he realizes it before it is too late for him. That letter was truely touching, it almost made me cry.

Bless you and I will pray that this "darkness" is short, and that peace comes quickly to you, regardless of how long it takes him to leave the fog.

Weaver

Thanks for your thoughts, Weaver. I am made strong by the hope that generous people such as yourself have given on this board. We hear so much about how the world is a harsh place and yet here on this board, people in need are helping one another. That is a comfort. Thanks again and God bless you.

I like it. It is very well written and you constantly re-affirmed your love for your husband and your marriage. Some plan B letters I read spend too much time on demands, but yours smooths your requirements to be back together nicely.

Thanks TTSi, I appreciate your comments. It was a tough letter to write, but it comes from my heart.....hope WH will feel it in his heart. God bless and may peace be with you.

bumping for am reviews

Looks good.
Didn't you give it to him?
You mentioned you started Plan B in your other post. What gives?

Hey Chris,

Thanks for your review of the letter. I counseled with SH at MB yesterday and we discussed the timing of the Plan B--he felt it was okay to do before the trip. I had the discussion this morning and now that I know the letter is okay I will give it to WH this evening and mail a cc to OW. Thanks for your insight and wish me luck on this journey.

When you email ow, make sure you put the blurb at the bottom to her about you still want the marirag ena dyou are waiting to give him the chance.

Hey, I like the letter. I will probably be drafting one of my own soon.

Remain strong and at peace with yourself.

Keep in touch.

L&A

To Chris: Thanks for the posting. I put the passage on the bottom of the letter--I printed in RED BOLD letters. Do you think she will take me as serious or hostile. I will mail tomorrow so she has it by Monday--their rendevous day. Thanks again.

To L&A: I hope my letter helps you. I had the talk today and gave the letter to WH when I got home. He read it and didn't say anything. I feel oddly relieved--like a burden has been lifted. Onward.....