I am so dissapointed in the lack of support you have given me thru all of this mess. The fact that you welcomed that piece of sh$t into your home is truly shocking to me. For one thing, we aren't even divorced yet. This is also the person who caused me total anguish and was a major factor in destroying our marriage. I really believed that you loved me and have always talked highly of u both. Despite WW re-writing history or trying to justify the affair to save face, we did have a great marriage, about as great of one as you can have. From spending 5 years with WW I have learned that there is something deep inside of her that wants her to destroy everything that is good for her. I don't know if it is from growing up in such a broken home or what. Like she is only comfortable in chaos. WW has told me things that I am sure she has never shared with you and I probably know her better than anyone ever has. To be fair to her I will keep these things private. Regardless of what happens I really hope that she gets some counseling to deal with these issues. Otherwise it could destroy her life. She is your daughter and if you love her you should encourage her to go and get counseling ASAP (hopefully thru church somewhere). If she doesn't now, by the time she is 30 she may be a mental mess.

Oh and back to this guy. WW said and I quote, "He is the biggest ******* I have ever met" and "He reminds me of my dad". The second part was obviously a big part of the attraction because her dad won't even speak to her anymore. No matter what she has told you I know for a fact that this has a major effect on her life. She wants him to be a part of her life even if he is a jerk. She replaced an [censored] with another [censored] and I can't compete with that because I am nothing like her father. I am so surprised that you don't worry more about WW's well being. This guy probably put on his best act for ya, but he and his friends are the lowest of the low and it is truly scary to think of WW living in that environment. I am not just saying this because of what has happened either. It just isn't good for her. She has already written me saying how much she regrets what she has done. I don't know if she has shared that with you or not.

You may hate me after reading this letter, but these are things that you need to hear.

>>>> I don't know when I am going to send this or if I am, but had to write it.

<small>[ August 29, 2004, 10:37 AM: Message edited by: juke1225 ]</small>

Hey juke...I know I haven't responded to you directly, but have been following your pain. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. You're too much of a straightforward, dedictaed,"good guy" to be going through all of this $hit that WW is putting you through. Sorry.

I'm not sure where you are at with your plans, but, if there is any chance of remotely saving your M, *DON'T SEND IT.* Hopefully it worked for you to get this anger out of your system. I just cannot believ these two people would actually act the way they are acting. What the f#$% is that? (Now, I'm just getting angry for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ) Wow. Like you said in the letter, to paraphrase, might explain a little where your W is right now.

Keep your head up--for you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> >>>> I don't know when I am going to send this or if I am, but had to write it.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey Juke, I'm glad you didn't send the letter yet. I'm sorry you are hurting so much... I've been there and I know how it hurts.

My thoughts are that if your in-laws won't support you or help you through this period, then just have nothing to do with them.

Don't talk with them. Don't write them letters. Nothing.

At some point in time, if you do reconcile with your W, her parents will still be her parents.

Their actions are horrible, and you certainly have a right to be angry with them... but don't act on your anger if you still have a desire to work things out with your W.

Semper Fi,
RIF90

I am not going to send the letter. but had to write those thoughts down. Maybe someday I will if I am done with WW, but not now. Felt good just to write it. I will just pretend for now.

Hi Juke,

I have been following your posts and just wanted to send a note of support. I am sorry that we are all going through this mess. The roller coaster ride is doosey.

I understand your need to vent your feelings--it is a good thing that you came here to vent and get if off your chest. (I just did the same thing--see my post, "Only outlet for petty venting".

I use to write letters to my WH, the OW and the OW's gay friend and then set them on fire in the fireplace! It gave me great satisfaction to see them burn. Cheap therapy!

I think that all of this is part of the process. I can tell you as the months go by, the hurt and therefore the anger lessens. Of course, time, exercise, counseling and anti-d's help.

We can hold our heads high because we can be proud of the work we have put into our M's. Hang in there, my friend.