Dear SVL,
I feel so sad for you and I think I can relate to how you feel. I struggle with some of the same issues, so I just want to offer you a little more to think about.
A home is the place where children learn about life, love and relationships. About caring and sacrifice, committment and feeling important. (just to name a few) Do you think that your unhappiness is hidden from them ? Kids are so perceptive. What do you think they will learn about relationships and how they work, from you and their father? If they see their father only briefly at this point, what do you think the message is that they are getting about how important they are to him? Being ignored on a daily basis might even be worse than visiting with him every week or two at a specifically designated time.
At least his attention is scheduled for those periods. You are the only one who really sees it all, so you are the one that has to make the decision that is best for the kids and yourself.
Just remember your unhappiness is a harsh and confusing teacher. Wishing you happiness. WA