Tom - What happened when you went to court? Are you still at home - or out in the hurricane?

Thanks for asking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Reached an agreement where I have to move out in 45 days. WW was smug and gloated all day. She has even managed to be "nice" by saying good morning and responding cheerily to me. Of course it is all in a sarcastic tone, she is on top of the world, forcing me out of my own house. Her attny said she would "try" to find work. We'll see, for some reason I'm skeptical.

Don't really know how I'll afford it. I have to pay for everything, and now get a new place to live. Have to find furniture and even dishes and pots to cook on. WW is comfortable though, living in the house I bought, and sitting on the furniture we just bought last year. All new living room and bedroom furniture. Now she has all day she can sit on the phone and computer with her internet BF.

Now she even hints that he may be in town. Of course with a little smirk when she says it. Is it possible for a person to be proud of being a cheating lying spouse?

Can you tell I'm a little sour over this. I am being forced out of my home, away from my kids, still having to pay for everything, (I mean everything) all because my Wife is having an affair.

No fault sucks, man. My heart goes out.

GC

I'm gearing up to have to work the weekend at the firehouse. Have mandatory call-ins starting this evening. Hurricane Francis is going to leave a wide path of destruction.

Worked last night and had a big fire. Didn't get back to the station until 4:00 am. It was a bad one. It was at a big stable and about 10 horses got trapped inside. Not pretty. 2 firemen got burned including me. Not seriously.

This is ironic, my Chief comes up to me and gives me his cell to call my wife. The news is there reporting that firemen were hurt and he didn't want my wife to worry. Like she'd care. That's all I'd need, call my wife after a bad fire, in which I got hurt, and get her cold hearted responses. Just what I would need to hear.

She just came out of the bedroom, cold as ice, but always with her smirk.

<small>[ September 03, 2004, 08:22 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom -

I'm so sorry to hear that you have to leave your home. But I think that may be the best thing for you. Your wife is behaving very poorly right now. If you are not home it will be better. The way things are going, you may lose your love for her.

The fire story made me very sad. It is awful when the person you made a life with turns into a stranger.

I will be praying for you and the others in Florida in the path of the hurricane.

Tom -

I too am very sorry to read this.

Please get sleep and stay safe!


Weaver

Tom:

Just never lose sight of YOUR value 2 your kids, your neighbors, and even your W.

Nobody can take who you are away from you.

-ol' 2long

It just seems so unfair for you to have to leave the house when it is your wife that is having an A.

It makes no sense at all. I so wish you could have somehow been able to put her out of the house.

What has your attorney's advised? Can she be forced to sell the house? Since FL is a no fault state, probably not. I was told by my attorney that I couldn't be forced to sell our home with minor children in the home. I was the BS. Will you have to support her in the way she has been accustomed until the kids are of age? I was told I would be eligible for alimony...so I suppose she will also.

Is there anything that can legally be done to prevent her from benefiting in the divorce?

Yes, Graycloud...no fault...sucks.

I am so sorry to hear about you having to leave your home. That is so unfair!
Please be safe and know that there are people out thre that do care about you. When I start getting upset I always picture my son in my mind and that makes me smile...no matter what is gong on around me!!!!

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
T~

TJ,

Hope you are safe with all that is going on. I just wanted to lighten your burden and tell you a funny story. I, for one, appreciate the work and dedication that firemen do--putting themselves in harm's way for the greater good.

I also appreciate them for other reasons as well. Here's a funny story. A few months ago, I was feeling down. WH was missing in action and I knew he was with OW. I was driving around aimlessly and then stopped to get a coffee. I was throwing myself a pity party and just sat there, moping and staring out of the window. I finally focused and saw a table with two firemen sitting there. I have this “thing” for firemen…..not just a man in uniform….no, firemen..they are fit, well-groomed, young and did I say fit. I looked a little harder and both of these guys were easy on the eyes. In about five minutes, the next thing I knew about twelve firemen came into to get coffee. I could not believe it. I immediately dropped to my knees and praised God. God had lifted me up and did not want me to feel down because he sent in a parade of firemen.

Be safe out there and take care of yourself. Thanks for all that you do.

SS

TJ..I'm glad you posted an update, I've been wondering how things were going for you...I'm no expert, but this just doesn't sound right to me...WW can have you forced out of your home AND made to support her butt too...and she doesn't work at all??...Something very wrong with the law if this is true..you DO have a lawyer right?

I don't know how that woman can look at herself in the mirror each day...

Sorry TJ...stay safe...God Bless

I have an attny. A good one too, I think.

She's an SAHM. No real income producing job. Judge said someone has to move and the FLA statues and guidelines kind of give all the leverage to the SAHM. Have to pay all her bills and my own as well, and childsupport.

She'll let me have libral visitation, everyother weekend and one evening a week. She's so generous, letting me visit my kids. Then they can stay with me at my furnitureless apartment. She was gracious enough to offer me one moldy couch from our outdoor porch. I'm am so lucky to have her. I keep reminding myself.

Oh, and she stuck her cell phone bill in the bill pile. Wants me to pay it for her. She claims I'm supposed to pay it, rather pay everything. I'm supposed too!

She won't show me her calls. They are all to her boyfriend out west. She wants me to pay for her to call her boyfriend.

Everyday it keeps getting better.

<small>[ September 03, 2004, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom - Don't despair. I think you will get her back. Hopefully in a better mood.

Tom:

Hey, hie yourself on over 2 the local Home Despot, pick yourself up a 2ple of 1x12's of knotty pine and some cinder blocks, and you'll have a shelf or a coffee table you can put next 2 that moldy couch! Like college days! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Can you cancel the cell phone? Ask your lawyer.

-ol' 2long

2long, oh those good old days.

I'll be moving into a condo I bought when I was 20 years old. When I moved in there all I had for about a year was a big screen TV, a recliner, my stereo, and a mattress on the floor in the bedroom. Oh yeah, and a nerf basketball hoop and dart board in the spare bedroom. That was my bachelor pad.

Of course all I did was sleep there for the most part.

But 40 is a little old to be doing that all over again.

Tom:

Yeah, but if you just add a cooler full of beer and some of your fireman buddies, it sounds a bit more habitable, doesn't it?

And I bet your work buddies are real popular with the kids (don't all kids love firemen? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

-ol' 2long

Tom Sweetie -

Forty is very young! Don't be so down on yourself!

Believe me, this is not going to be easy for your wife. She will have the kids most of the time, and it will be very difficult. They will probably side with you.

So fix up your place the best you can. Usually you can get cheap things at garage sales. And by the way, you need to tell the folks you work with what is going on. They will be a big support.

Sounds like you are going to have a hard weekend. Why don't your wife's family like you? Is the whole family kinda goofy?

Believer, these two sisters are pretty dysfunctional. I can't even go into the crap they have done to her and other people. When we got married she asked my sister to be her maid of honor, that's how much she valued her sisters. They have always been negative about everything, somehow that makes them feel better.

Even the kids are a little afraid of them because the make fun of them and hurt thier feelings. Mom doesn't say anything, which makes it hurt even more.

<small>[ September 03, 2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom -

Maybe that is where your wife learned her current behavior - from her family.

This is OT - I read on the internet about the stable fire (I think it is the same one). I am a horse lover. I got a horse when I was 12, and spent all of my teen years riding.

My opinion is that it might be an insurance scam. I also suspect the guy that saved lots of horses.

Sorry your wife is so disinterested in this, as it is quite dramatic.

Back on topic - You are very young, although I know you don't think so. My sister went to Harvard at 43, and now is a partner in her law firm.

So remember, your life is not over. You are a good looking firefighter, and the ladies swoon over that. I hope that your wife will change (and I think she will), but don't give up. There is a wonderful life ahead for you whichever way this goes.

She wants you to pay her cell phone bill? Sorry, but Hell No...someone mentioned that you may be able to cancel that phone..if it's in your name, I would do that, if not, then I hope it's a cold day in hell before you pay that bill. I don't think any judge would be adverse to that. A cell phone is a luxury for most people, if she has a landline in the house (and you are forced to pay her bills) that should be the only one you pay, and I'd have the long distance turned off on that too..if she wants to be able to call her little boyfriend, perhaps a novel idea would be a job to pay for it?