Weaver - I think the guilt is what is preventing him from moving forward. I honestly think he is having a very hard time coming to terms with what he did. He has always been known as the good guy, that everyone could look up to and count on and now that image has been shattered. I think he is afraid that no one will ever see him that way again. This are his inner demons that he is going to have to work out before we can move forward. I just wish he would agree to IC/MC.

GC - I ofter wonder how things would be different if I wasn't pregnant, but everything happens for a reason and there is a reason we were given this child at this point in our lives (PG was planned after trying off and on, due to job situation, for two years). So I don't allow myself to dwell on this too much.

I know this is something he is wrestling with. He has said many times that he doesn't want to come back just for the baby. He also told me that people at work tell him that once the baby is born he won't be able to stay away. He said he doesn't like the fact the people would say he let me go through the whole pregnancy alone and then just come home when the baby is here. I pointed out that he can't be guided by what people think about him. He says he knows this but can't help it sometimes.

I think he desperately wants to do the right thing, but just can't come to terms with what the right thing is.

WH came over on Saturday and gave me a small birthday gift and a card. In the card he wrote "Hope you have a great day. Love, WH" Don't know if it means anything that he signed it "Love." He only stayed for about an hour. He made some passing comment about talking more but that was it. He stopped by today while and put the babies crib together. Again he only stayed for about an hour. As he was leaving he told me to give him a call if I needed help with anything.

He's too busy to be a married man....

"right now he is so busy at work that he doesn't have the time to put into our M that he would need to. "

He's too busy....

hmmmmmmm

something about this remark really bugs me....

can't quite put my finger on it....

we all must make priorities in our life...

we put the more important things first....

I would explore this further if I were you....

He sees you as somone who might be worth his effort in the future if he's not too busy....

The implied other side of this is ... he assumes you are not " too busy" to wait for him....

The imbalance of this attitude will not make recovery pleasant.... if you ever get to recovery....

Please let me know when you hear this from his lips:

I will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to save our marriage."

Have you got a timeline in mind?

Set your goals independent from his, coz he's too busy to be a married man right now..... sigh

Pep

Pep - I know what you mean. Since I am pregnant it's not like I can move and and he knows that. I can't/won't make any decisions about my future until the baby gets here. His statements about being too busy bothered me, because I know it's just not true. I just don't know what to say or how to respond to this.

kloe72:

I read your thread and it sounds like you are on the verge of getting him back. Good Luck. Once the fog lifts, the WS's wonder what they were thinking!

TooSoon

I sent WH an e-mail this morning letting him know when lamaze classes were and asked him if he wanted to go/had time. He said he would go so I signed us up. They will start next week.

My Grandmother is moving to the area next weekend. She has hired a mover but still is bringing quite a bit of stuff in her car. Neighbors will help load it at her end but we needed someone to help at this end. I asked WH if he would be willing to help and he said he would. So he will have to see my parents on Saturday, we'll see how that goes.