I read back a few pages tonight.

Now I should say I don't have anyting to report, and then sign off.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I see a few things.

1. People like you, and care what happens to you. Notice the posts you are getting. Notice how people care.

2. Your mind is moving on. Unless you are holding something back, you are making real progress with this.

3. The new home is getting familiar, and is starting to FEEL like home. The job is not as bad as it first seemed. Things are looking up.

4. Your faith in yourself is coming back. You like it.

5. Old age, Old age, Old age.

6. What was I going to say?

7. Oh Yes, when you do go to the candy store, get some for me, I'll pay you back, right after you balance my checkbook - if there's anything left in my account.

SS

You're too funny, SS!

I'm glad to see you're back. How was your trip?

The new home is getting familiar, and is starting to FEEL like home. The job is not as bad as it first seemed. Things are looking up.

Yeah! How do you know? My place is really shaping up. It does feel more like home. The job is WAY better. Everything got re-organized - I have a new boss now and a new set of co-workers. The job went from downright miserable to outright pleasant. It's amazing.
I volunteered for a fundraiser for work last Sunday. It was a lot of work, but I had a blast. This Saturday I'm helping out my mom with a fundraiser for her church. Then I think I'm going to attend my own new church (that I've finally found) this Sunday for the first time. I'm beginning to have a life.

I also just received a surprise email from some old friends (a married couple that I went to high school/college with) here in the Chicago area. I haven't seen them since I've moved back to town and they want to get together. Maybe I'll try to convince them to go up to Wisconsin with me to go to the Jelly Belly warehouse tour. That's way better than a candy store - a candy WAREHOUSE!

I will get you a big bag of Jelly Belly Belly Flops if I go. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Update on the D sitch-

The courthouse DID receive my paperwork. Apparently the USPS didn't scan the envelope upon delivery, which is why it didn't show up on-line as being delivered.

I suffered an anxiety attack for nothing.

Well, almost nothing. The courthouse informed me that there's a problem w/ the paperwork. I'm getting a problem notification in the mail. Hopefully it is something easy to fix that doesn't require me to go back to the east coast.

So now I have something new to stress about. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I need that candy!

HI svb,

In a hurry right now, but wanted to say I am really glad that you are doing great. Maybe a teence jealous too, but overall glad to hear that everything is looking up!


Be back later if I can,

jls

Jls!

Your're back! What happened to you! You vanished into thin air.

I've been wondering about you. Did your H move back in? How are things going? How are your kids and your animals?
Are you still bartending?

You have GOT to come up to Chicago. Do you like Chicago deep dish pizza? Do you like jelly beans? Maybe you and Milkshake and I can hang out sometime.

I have been back for awhile, just responding on other threads, Iville...

Yes, H is back, made lots of promises that he didn't keep. He meant well, I guess, perhaps he didn't think that I was serious about some of it. So, same ol, same ol...That is why I wasn't around and now in a funk again, but working on it.

I would love to come up sometime, or vice-versa. Where is milkshake from? I have seen her around a little, but don't really "know" her or her story.


Well, I applied for re-admission to the local university. I have my biology degree, was intending on going back for teaching...I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up! Teaching would be interesting (to say the least) and challenging, just won't pay the bills if I do end up D. Yes, I have a plan and H knows it, or at least most of it.

But then again, what will pay the bills? Masters degree, I don't think I wanna go there. I could get certified in Nuclear Med in a year or less, decent money, but no real interest there.

Anyhoo, Really glad to "see" you!

SS is right we/I care,
jls

JLS,
I have been wondering about you too.
Are you doing any better emotionally, or just not talking about it much? Or, I missed it?

SS

S,
I'm glad they got the papers - and I hope you can fix the error from home. Being finished will help you also.

It really does sound like life is better. I can feel you smile from here.

It seems like Dru is a little farther along the road than you, and she says it's a good place to be. Isn't it nice to get the word from someone that's been there.

Let me know how your new church feels. That's one of the things I have been prayiny about for you.

I'll tell the twins about the Jelly Belly tour - they may decide to move in with you after all. Think they'll both fit in that closet?

SS

Oh,
And the trip was really fun. We didn't just drive there, we vacationed all the way down and back. Had a good time, and met a former MB'er for dinner while in Phoenix.

Son's family are doing well, in a new home. It's nice to spend time with family, and or friends.

SS

The new home is getting familiar, and is starting to FEEL like home. The job is not as bad as it first seemed. Things are looking up.

Quote from SVB
Yeah! How do you know?

Because you are happier, and less stressed. More outgoing, more willing to talk. Less tired, .......... and because it just seems that way. :-)

How was church? Does it help?
Good weekend?
Reading any good books?
The new TV have any good programs, or same old stuff?

Fish report?

You do know we care, don't you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

SS

Hi SS!

How was church? Does it help?

I didn’t get to go to my new church as I had originally planned. I ended up staying with my mom all weekend, again. I was kinda guilted into it. I’ll be staying at my place next weekend, so I’ll go then. I’ll let you know how it feels.

Good weekend?

Decent weekend. I went to my mom’s fundraising shindig – “shindee” as she calls it – on Saturday. She seemed very happy there. It was nice to see her so involved with this. It keeps her busy and gives her a purpose – otherwise she’d be lonely and depressed.

I got home late last night, so I didn’t get as much done this weekend as I’d have liked. I’ve got laundry to put away, an apartment to clean, etc. My new tv and fish are still probably feeling neglected, too.

Reading any good books?

I’ve got a stack of them, but I haven’t touched them.

Fish report?

I’ve got to clean out their tank tonight. Somehow I’ve got to learn how to clean out their tank without getting water all over myself. I’ll be covered in dirty fish water.
Lenny’s still not growing, but her tank-mates are getting bigger than ever. It’s still a mystery to me.

Thanks for asking, BTW. I know you guys care.

I’m glad you had a nice time with your family. I had a long talk with my brother yesterday. I mentioned that I’m off for Veteran’s Day, so he suggested that I come down to visit again. I don’t know if I will, though. I haven’t decided. They’ll be coming up for Thanksgiving, so it’s not like I won’t be seeing them any time soon.

I'm glad they got the papers - and I hope you can fix the error from home. Being finished will help you also.

I still haven’t received the problem notification in the mail. Maybe I'll get it today. I’d like to know what needs to be fixed! I’m going to be feeling very anxious until this is all settled!

I'll tell the twins about the Jelly Belly tour - they may decide to move in with you after all. Think they'll both fit in that closet?

I tell you what – they can sleep in my bedroom and I'll sleep in the closet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Jls,

You’re going back to school, too! It seems like everybody’s going back to school. I know how you feel about being unsure about what to do.

The Nuclear Med. field!? How weird! That’s actually something I’m kinda familiar with! One of my old professions, I guess you could say – but more of the technical side than the clinical side. Maybe I’ll get to tell you about it someday. (I'm sure you can hardly wait)

Yes, H is back, made lots of promises that he didn't keep. He meant well, I guess, perhaps he didn't think that I was serious about some of it. So, same ol, same ol...That is why I wasn't around and now in a funk again, but working on it.

I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time. Have you guys made any progress at all? Have you updated your thread with the details?

Hi BACK!!!

I didn’t get to go to my new church as I had originally planned. I ended up staying with my mom all weekend, again. I was kinda guilted into it. I’ll be staying at my place next weekend, so I’ll go then. I’ll let you know how it feels.

Rats, I was hoping she would learn, and leave you alone.

Lets practice again (grin) "Mom, thanks but I have other plans. Nice of you to offer, but see you later."

"Gee mom, you are so nice to invite me, but I already made up my mind to stay here, and get some things done. Thanks."

You can write better ones than I can, because you know her, and you know what she usually says, and you know how you usually answer. So, write one yourself, and practice it with variations - do the practice in front of the mirror. Smile when you say it, and say it with enthusiasm.
Good weekend?

Decent weekend. I went to my mom's fundraising shindig – “shindee” as she calls it – on Saturday. She seemed very happy there. It was nice to see her so involved with this. It keeps her busy and gives her a purpose – otherwise she’d be lonely and depressed.

My guess is that she is lonely and depressed sometimes in spite of her involvement. But, glad to see she is busy and being busy helping others is the best busy. I'm glad you went too. I hope it lifted your spirits.

I got home late last night, so I didn't get as much done this weekend as I’d have liked. I’ve got laundry to put away, an apartment to clean, etc. My new tv and fish are still probably feeling neglected, too.

Well, the fish are important, but I don't feel bad for the TV at all. Darn contraptions.
( I don't watch much, it takes up so much of the time I could use for eating candy, and sleeping.)

I asked about the books to see how your time is going. You are still not getting quite enough sleep?



I’ve got to clean out their tank tonight. Somehow I’ve got to learn how to clean out their tank without getting water all over myself. I’ll be covered in dirty fish water.
Lenny’s still not growing, but her tank-mates are getting bigger than ever. It’s still a mystery to me.

Maybe Lenny already had a visit from Mr. Carp, and her size was fixed permanently.
See - "A fish out of water" by Helen Palmer.

I wondered if you can get a small pump - maybe a pond pump or an evaporative cooler pump or something like that to help clean out the tank. Something small, and cheap. It would need some hose too, but that usually isn't too expensive.


I’m glad you had a nice time with your family. I had a long talk with my brother yesterday. I mentioned that I’m off for Veteran’s Day, so he suggested that I come down to visit again. I don’t know if I will, though. I haven’t decided. They’ll be coming up for Thanksgiving, so it’s not like I won’t be seeing them any time soon.

It sounds like you have plenty to do, don't be afraid to say what you think. "Hey bro, thanks for the invite, but I think I'll stay here, and see you at Thanksgiving time."

If he won't leave you alone, throw in something about your boy friend and a hot date.
Ha, Ha, just kidding. I know the paperwork isn't done yet.

Mostly I wanted to say something about a pump for cleaning the tank. Some nights I talk a lot.

So glad work is going better. I was worried about that for you.

What ever happened to your former "best friend?" The one from your earlier school life?

Ok, Ok, I really am going to quit now.

SS

Hi SS,

Rats, I was hoping she would learn, and leave you alone.

I think she's trying, but she struggles sometimes. She means well -- she tells me that I need to focus on myself now and be happy. But when I try to do that (if it's not around her) I think she gets a little disappointed.

For instance, I've told her something along these lines...

Lets practice again (grin) "Mom, thanks but I have other plans. Nice of you to offer, but see you later."

Then she says "that's nice, but (frown), gee, you have more plans now than when you were married."

I have to remind her that I'm trying to move on and have/build a life. Not everything I do has to involve her. (I didn't tell her the last part - my brother has, though, in the past) Sometimes I wonder if she wants me to fill the void in her life that was left when my father died.

I'm trying.

I wondered if you can get a small pump - maybe a pond pump or an evaporative cooler pump or something like that to help clean out the tank. Something small, and cheap. It would need some hose too, but that usually isn't too expensive.

I have a ten gallon tank. It has an under-gravel filter. It also has another filter/pump that I added separately. I try to change 50% of the water every week to two weeks while vacuuming the gravel using a vacuum hose thingie. My problem is that the hose gets away from me far to often. Everything gets a shower - mainly myself. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

What ever happened to your former "best friend?" The one from your earlier school life?

This is the friend that lost her brother a few weeks ago. We talk pretty often. We're getting together on Sunday afternoon. She has a new love in her life and she is very happy. Actually, ga ga is a better word. They spend a lot of time together. Do you want to hear something funny, though? She calls me for advice on her R! I tell her, "HELLO! I'm getting a D, are you sure you want advice from me?" She still does. I've got her reading HNHN and LB.

I have a couple of updates, too.

I received the problem notice (regarding my D papers) in the mail yesterday. There are 2 problems - one is easy to fix and as for the other, I have no clue what they are requesting. I decided to call a law office in PA to have them fix everything. They told me that it wouldn't be difficult to fix and would cost me around $200. I've already sent them everything. I just want this to be done right and, more importantly, just DONE.

I spoke w/STBXH last night and today regarding the paperwork. He'll foot half the bill. He sounds horrible. He's got a bad cold or flu. He had a fever last night. He still doesn't seem to be too happy. He's working more than ever. He complained a lot about it. Maybe he's unhappy because he doesn't have time to go to the city to play. Oh well, it's not my concern anymore.

Also, I've got my eye on a gorgeous townhouse. I looked at this townhouse complex months ago, as well as many others, but I've stopped looking since I'm so unsure about what I want to do.
But I got a call the other day that the prices dropped tremendously - for the winter, I imagine. I drove by and looked at them again. I've got to crunch some numbers.

Of course, if I decide to buy a place and settle down, I'll probably have to give up the idea of a career where I travel the world in international espionage - or anything similar.

Have a great weekend, SS.

You have a great weekend too. I'll try to prevent AD from getting bored while he is here visiting.

You know, it's hard to say no to someone you love. It sounds like you are on top of it though.

Merry Christmas, and Happy New year.
(for last year, I am always behind.)

SS

Thanks.

I'm sure AD won't get bored. But if he does, you can tell him to update his thread.

I just got off the phone w/STBXH a while ago. He called to tell me that "The Amazing Race" is going to be on tonight. It's a 2 hour episode tonight. This is the show that we always watched together - and if he had to work, I would record it for him. Neither one of us has really been following it this season - but he called to tell me anyway. ?? strange.

He sounds much better - apparently what he had was strep throat.

I then proceeded to tell him a little too much about myself. (maybe I'm too open and honest - I just blurt out everything. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'm still amazed that I was able to keep most -ok, some- of my snooping secrets)

I told him about the townhouse that I'm looking at. (but I didn't tell him that I've already been pre-qualified for the loan - if I choose to buy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)
I also told him about my thoughts on working overseas - and about a job in particular that I might apply for. Of course, I told him that I don't know if I want to buy a place OR move overseas OR do both, if I can. He says I can do both. I could always rent out my place. I don't know.

It sure sounded to me as if he wanted to buy a place, too, AND apply for a similar type job.

Sometimes I worry that I'm giving him too much information about myself. Maybe I should let him wonder. At the same time, though, it makes me feel better to let him know that I have a life, and that I'm fine, and that I AM moving on without him.

And finally, I let him know that the lawyer has already finished our paperwork. I should have it by next week.

Maybe he really called to find out the status of the paperwork - without having to ask - since I blurt out everything anyway. I asked him, "Why did you call me again? Did you call me to find out about the paperwork?? He said, "no, I called to tell you about the Amazing Race." I said, "oh yeah, that's right."

Who knows.

Hey svb,

I was typing a response slowly on another thread, and finally got done, and here You are!

Did I tell you before that I am a little jealous of you. You seem to be doing so well. I still feel STUCK. Yes I do have a "plan", but for the moment, still stuck..

Your STBXH has never ceased to amaze me. Calling you about a tv show?!! I dunno, but really who cares? I think that as much as he wanted his freedom, he does not want to really let go either.

Yeah, I am a blurter too. If I could keep a secret, esp a snooping one, I would have gotten a lot more information. I should post that more often to Newbies who are questioning about a possible A. Haven't really felt like helping anyone, actually just don't think that I can at this point tho!! yoooHOO, Oh people listen to me, the ultimate idiot..at least where my M is concerned.

Did I miss about the job overseas before, or did that just come up. Now that would be exciting!

Kep up the great work svb, and keep us informed. I never have been able to get excited about that fish of yours tho. Our cats eat them sometimes...

That reminds me of a funny story about my daughter when she was about 6. We had already been thru about 5 bettas (of course just replaced so she didn't know). Rally was the fish's (all of them) name, I will never forget. Well, he passed into that ocean in the sky AGAIN and I decided that it was time and she could learn about life and death. OOooh boy, what a mistake. She cried for HOURS that night (and much of that whole week)...I tried to comfort her and she said to me,"Mom, I don't think that you are that upset. You aren't crying and how could you NOT CARE?". I was speechless for a minute (long time for me) and finally said "Well, honey, Rally and I just weren't that close." -- I mean for goodness sake, it was a FISH. A year later I spent big bucks fencing in the yard so her pup wouldn't get run over- I did not want to go THERE!
And then my son, probably about the same age..well when one of his fish died, I didn't know that big Sissy told him that it went on a trip. He came downstairs about a week later and was crying. When I asked him what was wrong, he sobbed "Sissy said that my fish went on a trip and I DON'T think he's coming BACK!". It was all I could do not to chuckle, at least not in front of him.

Take care svb, but it sounds like you are doing that!

jls

Did I tell you before that I am a little jealous of you. You seem to be doing so well. I still feel STUCK. Yes I do have a "plan", but for the moment, still stuck..

Don't be jealous! Hey, you have a husband and a family and a chance still that everything will work out. You also have more animals than just fish! Maybe I'M jealous!

I'm sorry that you feel stuck, though.

Your STBXH has never ceased to amaze me. Calling you about a tv show?!! I dunno, but really who cares? I think that as much as he wanted his freedom, he does not want to really let go either.

Yeah, it's really bizarre to me. I don't understand. I've been back from the east coast for about a month now. This is only the 3rd time we've spoken since I've been back. The 1st time I called him about our auto insurance (expired end of last month). Then he tried to call me about a week later. He left me a message saying that he had a question. We played phone tag for a while and ended up never speaking. Then I called him last week about the D paperwork - Thursday and Friday (but I count it as 1). Now the 3rd time we speak he's calling me about a tv show?

Yeah, I am a blurter too. If I could keep a secret, esp a snooping one, I would have gotten a lot more information. I should post that more often to Newbies who are questioning about a possible A. Haven't really felt like helping anyone, actually just don't think that I can at this point tho!! yoooHOO, Oh people listen to me, the ultimate idiot..at least where my M is concerned.

I probably could have found out more information, too. Do you still feel like you have to snoop? I should post to Newbies, too, but I don't feel like I have much to offer, either, most of the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Did I miss about the job overseas before, or did that just come up. Now that would be exciting!

It was something that was always at the back of my mind. But there is one job opportunity in particular that is new. I haven't decided if I should apply or not. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

When I tell my friends and family of my interest to go overseas, they tell me I should go. What are they trying to say? Do I smell??

No, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> they just want to come visit me! Even STBXH <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I never have been able to get excited about that fish of yours tho. Our cats eat them sometimes...

Poor Lenny. My friends (the married couple) that came over on Saturday told me that she's got Homer Simpson eyes (buggy). I haven't decided if they're welcome here anymore. Also, I told them that I bought 2 fish when I bought Lenny -(originally)Lenny and Squiggy - but Squiggy died within a week. Since my 2 new fish don't really have names yet, they suggested Joanie and Chachi. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That reminds me of a funny story about my daughter when she was about 6. We had already been thru about 5 bettas (of course just replaced so she didn't know).

My brother and I had a pet turtle when I was about 5 or 6. He "ran away." For the longest time, I couldn't figure out how a turtle could "run away." They're so slow, my parents should have been able to catch him.

Not sure if AD was bored. I wasn't, he is fun to travel with.

You two girls are fun to listen to. Hope you don't mind me evesdropping.

Things are going well? And Yes, I mean both of you.

SS

Hello SS!

You are always welcome here - even if you make fun of Lenny (or me).

I'm glad you had a good weekend. I knew AD was going to visit you, but somehow I didn't realize that you were going to travel all weekend. I'm sure AD wasn't bored either.

I had a good weekend, too. My friends came over Saturday (as mentioned above). We had a lot of laughs. Then on Sunday, I went to see the Blue Man Group with my friend (from childhood). Very strange show - but very good!

I also went to my new church. It felt good to go, but I have some concerns, too. Hopefully I'll figure it all out over time.

My other concern for the moment is whether I should purchase that home or not. Although I've had my eye out for a place for a while, this kind of came up suddenly. I'm tempted - it's very nice, and I can afford it. I'm only a little afraid because I've already been thinking about changing jobs after a year or so (or sooner). I came into this job, as you know, with a severe pay cut, and knowing that it would only be temporary.

Maybe I shouldn't rush into anything. I'm not even D'd yet, officially. I guess I just have this desire to have something permanent, something MINE - something that can't leave me!

I'm just scared that if I don't do this, I'll get depressed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I'll stop talking now. None of this is M related.