I did it. I sat down with my W last night to talk. I was very nervous but knew I had to confront her with what I knew. See
this post for details. I will sum up the conversation.
As we were sitting on the sofa I said I had to ask her something and I needed for W to be totally honest. She said OK. I asked her where she went Sun. night. She seemed a little startled and said her friends-why. I asked where else. She kept asking why, as if to say how & what do you know, and then said she drove around to smoke and think. I finally said for 30 miles. She said she didnt know how far.
I said I knew it was 30 miles driven on car. She said you're checking mileage. I said not normally but she was acting strange Sun. night, so I did. I asked if she went to OM she said no.
I said I only wanted her to give us a fair chance and that we could make each other happy and have a better relationship. But in order for that to hapen NC would have to occur.
She said it wasn't about the A. That maybe we just weren't right for each other that we were too different and that she had felt that way for a long time.
I said I knew she had lost feelings for me or else she wouldn't have entered into another relationship. I said I knew I had made mistakes and treated her badly but that was in the past and I am making changes.
She said she had been thinking about Divorce but wasn't sure it was the right thing to do because she didn't want to be viewed as a bad person and it is difficult because of our 2 girls and us being from 2 different countries. She said that I deserve better and could be happier if we divorced.
I asked W what would make her happy in a relationship. She said she didn't want a relationship. That she wouldn't be with OM if we split up or with anyone for a long time. I said I would be happy in our relationship and believed we both could be happy.
I said I knew she had strong feelings for OM and had to have NC so she could work through these and have feelings for me again. I asked when was last time she had contact with OM. She said July/August to sign his vacation time and denied strong feelings for OM.
I didn't say anything but I knew this to be a lie because of letters she wrote at end of August and beginning of Sept. We were both tired and we just continued with small talk about tv show. The talk was calm on both sides but I'm not sure what to take from it or what to do next.
Thank you for taking time to read this and PLEASE give me comments and thoughts(Anything). I'm sure I've left parts out but will remember more.
CR
<small>[ September 28, 2004, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: Coasterride ]</small>