I need help from those of you experiencing the success of Plan A'ing. My H has not initated contact with the OW since Nov, but the OW contacted him in Feb & again in Aug. He handled the Feb contact very well, but the Aug contact has resulted in a huge step backwards for me. Instead of immediately terminating the Aug call he spent nearly 10 minutes talking to her. He came home & told me about her call but instead of saying he blew it, he filled me in on all of her latest like it was an old family friend. I hadn't read HNHN then & now know I LB'ed all over the place. Since then I've read both HNHN & LB & have been working on Plan A. He's read the first few chapters of HNHN & has expressed how amazed his is by what he's learning. And he's really started working on my #1 need for affection that I'd tried to explain to him for a long, long time. But I'm finding that after all that transpired during that Aug experience I've lost the affection I continued to have throughout the year & a half this has gone on. I catch myself looking at him with new dispassionate eyes & wonder why I'm continuing. After a lifetime I'm learning about taking care of myself & I'm wondering if staying isn't flying in the face of that effort. So, my question to those of you that are further along in this is "what happened to you in this stage of recovery"? Where do I go from here?