Let me start by apologising as I have several posts going at the same time. I felt that the subjects were different and that there was merit in having their own threads.

If you are looking fo reasons to contact other persons spouse and expose the Affair - JUST DO IT !!

During the week I finally spoke to OM's spouse. I thought that this would be very awkward and that she would hate me for doing so, but I was very wrong. As it turned out she was trying to contact me but did not know how to. I gave OP's spouse everything that I had experinecd for the last 4 -5 months. As it turns out she was very confused as she too had confronted the OM and my WW, and of course they had both denied everything. I could tell from the silence that I was confriming the worst of her fears although not fully beleiveing me just yet. We spoke for ages and whilst she sounded very confused she was extremely grateful for having spoken to me. She was truly touched / grateful that I contacted her and that I offered to help her in any way that I could. We made a pact to keep our discussions a secret ( for now anyway) because it may allow her the opportrunity to watch her husband lying to her whilst she knows she is being betrayed. She obviously loves her husbnd very much and although she thinks this is his first foray into the world of cheating, sadly I know differently.
Telling her was also very theraputic for me. It lanced a festering wound deep inside of me allowing the infection to seep out so that I could start healing.

I wish that I had taken the advice of so many good folk at MB and contacted her sooner. There is no doubt in mt mind that I would have been in a much better position to save my marriage than I am now had I told sooner. The two of us could have co-ordinated our plans and exerted pressure from both sides of the fence, as opposed to me doing it on my own for so long.
We are planning to keep in contact, but even if she chooses not to, I have done my part and given her the information that I so desperately craved when I first found out. It has also helped me because I knew deep inside of me that I should have told her much sooner, she, as do all BS have the right to know.

YES I do feel better as a result of having told her and for the right reasons. I think it will as has been said expose the A to the cold hard light of day!!!

<small>[ October 10, 2004, 06:06 PM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>

Bravo!!!

RM - good job.

Please consider pasting the text from your post into my exposure reference post, "Affair Exposure 101." A ggod place would be in the sub-post, "On Informing OP's Spouse of the Affair."

I'll bump up 101 for you.

<small>[ October 11, 2004, 06:08 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Great brave work ! This will pay you dividends.

Weaver, WAT and Bob Pure, thanks for the encouragement. It has already paid dividends. apparently the OP broke down and fessed up about most of what was going on. As a result it may have at least allowed the OP's marriage to be saved so that's something. My WW has yet to come clean about everything to me so I am still a very frustrated and dissapointed person. WW is feeling very dejected at the moment as I plan B'd her and within 24hrs the OP dumped her as a result of exposure. A very cruel twist of fate for her. Being in Plan B I have tried to avoid conversation with her but she rang me and I offered some firm but sympathetic words. Have not spoke since then and this will be tough...
WAT- Thank you, I added to your post as requested.

Wow, my stomach hurts just reading this.

Stay strong and I will be praying and hoping that she comes around soon.

Hopefully, some experts will come on and advise you now.

Call them out if necessary, ok?

((((RenaissanceMan))))

Hang in there, I know this has got to be incredibly emotional for you.