Hi all,

Well, I went by the house earlier. He hasn't been there all week, so I was just going to feed the dog, but his van was there. So I started to quietly leave, but I backed the car into the ditch. Nerves, I guess- I have never done that before.

So he came out and we got the car out, and I had coffee with him.

It is Thanksgiving here, today. Daughter asked him if he is coming for supper. He asked me if the invitation is from me too, and I said 'sure'.

Now I am a wreck. He will be here in a couple of hours, and I don't know how to be around him. It is so awkward.

I need prayer guys.

Shul

I'll be praying for you. Just try to relax and remember the real meaning of Thanksgiving. Are you in Canada?

you leave him and his daughter alone...and make him spend time with her..

then you discuss ONLY things about your daughter...

what she needs
what she deserves...

you see if he is willing to come to the table and be any type of a father....
and you build through your daughter...
until he plugs in to her life..
until he does right by her...

there should be no you and him...

count your blessings at dinner....
put your daughter first...

ARK

Thank you both.

Yes, I am in Canada.

I have alot to be thankful to God for this year. We might have been in a very bad way except that he provided a job and home at just the right time.

As I see it he took me out of harms way, while he works on husband.

Yes, it is all about our daughter now.

I rented a couple of movies, so I will leave them alone to relax and watch tv while I do dishes. It is a bit awkward with them , too. He doesn't know what to say to her.

Last week, he was here on my b'da, nad it so happened that there was a 'meet the teacher' thing, that same night. We were on our way out the door, she and I, and she turned to him at hte last moment and asked him if he would like to come. To my great surprise he said yes.

It is the first time he has made an effort in a long while. I think he felt good to be there. There was a time when we went to all such things together, but in recent years he stopped wanting to.

Anyway I thought it was encouraging, and she was happy that he was there.

What drives me crazy is that he doesn't phone to ask if we are ok every few days. All the years hwen he was away working, he would always call every night or two just to make sure.

I get the feeling that he feels like when he is up to no good, as he has been, that he can't handle being around me or even talking to me.

He said once that even when I don't say anything, he feels disapproval from me.

I remember a time when I was a new believer, and I had fallen, (and didnt want to get up) that I couldn't bear to talk to Jesus. I was hiding from the light.

Do you think it is the same with him?

I don't want him to feel condemnation around me. I have done things as bad or worse than him in my life. I know I am no less a sinner than him.

I need to be peaceful , serene when he comes, but I feel very irritable ,hormonal.

(There is a reason why women were secluded during their time of month...for everyones health.)

It was ok, I think.

He spent some time with our daughter, we relaxed.

He didn't stay the night.

Tomorrow he has an appointment that could severely mess him up financially.
I am praying that God will overrule in this. Whatever it takes for him to come to the end of himself. Better he should be broke or even go to jail for awhile, than he should go on like this.

His friends are turning against him one after another, and other things. 'Egyp't has not been good to him, as it were.

I am waiting to see how this will all play out. I dont think it will be long now.

He said something tonight that reminded me of the man I used to see in him- the hero- and right now I am missing him so much. I miss his insights and his strength, and his leadership.

I want that man back.

He will be spending time at the cabin alone over the winter. I wonder if this will be a time for him to do some growing. I hope so.

I think it has started. He split wood all day today, when he could have been sleeping or reading. He is starting to act like a man, thinking ahead, planning.

Maybe he is growing up. Maybe I need to give him time to grow up?