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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions How do the WS and OP convince themselves it's ok?

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How do the WS and OP convince themselves it's ok? #1207144 10/13/04 05:14 PM
Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 55 D DreamingofHappiness Member
DreamingofHappiness Member D Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 55	My WH seems to have no guilt or remorse at this point in his EA. The OW says she feels guilty but they continue. I was wondering how they make it ok in their head to keep doing what they are doing... Knowing it is wrong.. Not caring about the children or BS.

Re: How do the WS and OP convince themselves it's ok? #1207145 10/13/04 05:30 PM
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County B believer Member
believer Member B Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County	A big helping of denial helps. Then they rewrite the history of the marriage. They convince each other that their treachery is okay because the are "soulmates", that were meant to be together. So their original marriage was a mistake. They decide the children will "adjust", and wouldn't want their parents to be unhappy, and blah, blah, blah. My WH has been going through this for 22 months. He denies that he is hurting OW's husband, 12 year old daughter or me. It is quite remarkable how they are able to rationalize everything. My husband even thinks that the Lord wants him and OW to be together. Imagine that.

Re: How do the WS and OP convince themselves it's ok? #1207146 10/13/04 05:49 PM
Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 3,474 C Cherished Member
Cherished Member C Joined: Apr 2002 Posts: 3,474	My wife doesn't care about me, and your husband doesn't care about you. We care about each other. If we had met before we married, we would have married each other and not our spouses. Cherished <small>[ October 13, 2004, 05:57 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

Re: How do the WS and OP convince themselves it's ok? #1207147 10/13/04 08:13 PM
Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 55 D DreamingofHappiness Member
DreamingofHappiness Member D Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 55	Yes one of my husbands favorites is our children will get over it.. He was raised without a father so he knows his kids will be ok.. Shouldn't he want better for them? I can't believe they actually believe most of the stuff they say... Even though everyone else looks at them like they are crazy.

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