WW left today for a trip with our 2.5 year old D. She will be going to stay with her parents out of state, also going to a wedding in another state. Problem is WW had an EA with an ex very near her parents town. This trip was planned much before D-day. No problem then, big problem now.

In the last 3.5 weeks, she made a committment to work on M. Things have been going better, we both agree, I have seen changes in her. However, she has refused to write NC letter but my intense monitoring of cell phones and emails shows she is living up to NC. I also checked phone cards and they have not been used. Turned the house upside down for evidence and I found nothing. I emailed OM myself and told him not to contact her anymore, we have decided to work on M.

Many of you have said for weeks "don't let her take your D near OM". I have fully agreed. However, we have made some real progress lately. I told my WW (hopefully FWW) that her 2 week trip is not a compromise because I don't want her to go at all. She wants the full 2 weeks and is getting 100% what she wants (sound familiar?). I said how she is not considering my feelings. She agreed but still left. So I said I may come out next week and pick up our D and take her home. This started the tears flowing in my WW. I said since she won't compromise, I may have to take it in my own hands. It almost feels like I would be using my D against my WW. However, this lack of control really upset her and opened my eyes somewhat. She admitted she wanted to use the trip as time to "miss me" and talk on the phone and work on our relationship by not being around each other. Huh???

Maybe I am missing the flashing sign here saying she will contact the OM on this trip. However, I can't make her not want to contact him. Maybe my best option is to stay strong for me and if I think D will be in contact with OM, go get my D and bring her home. Any other options or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks, Jmash.