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Sometimes when you really need it to.

--Noodle

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lordslady,

If I'd known you had xanax, I would have suggested it earlier! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Also, joining the gym is a good idea, too. I just love that cell phone guy.

I'm glad you got to apologize about the little girl.

Hang in there.

God bless,

Rose

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The rule of thumb while hunting large predators is..Kill it or leave it the F**K alone.

I really think that this applies in your situation.

You lack the power [well, ok, the willingness] to bring truly crushing consequenses to their lives. Pot shots are so unsatisfying. P*ssing contests that you don't win..ditto.

If I were you LL..I would want away as far and as fast as my little Noodle legs could carry me. I wouldn't even care if they laughed at my retreat. Enjoy the show..buh bye now.

Now for some practical advice.

DD is 15? Old enough to take over nearly completely on the day to day housework. Probably old enough to get from place A to place B on her own as well..is there no public trans in your area? Or a bike? How about a cab..may still be less time and money..something to think about.

DS is 18? Surely he could drive her at least some of the time? He could also be contributing financially to the household as well as domestically. Lean on resources, any and all.

I wouldn't drop that assault charge for anything LL..documentation is a very good friend to have.
OW is making sure to get hers.

--Noodle

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Rose,

I'm not sure I got to apologize, but I did try. I wrote a little note to OW and tied it to a bag containing a small baby doll and a Winnie-the-Pooh nightie. I put thought into it. If OW immediately tossed it in the trash (which I suspect was the case), I am sorry for that, but I did try to do something. I put in the note that I in no way expected the OW to tell the girl where it came from. I just wanted to let OW know I was sorry about making the uncalled-for comments about her sweet little girl, and my gift was an apology to mom and just a anonymous gift for baby.

And as for any of you who might be reading this who months ago encouraged me to do a Plan B, and I failed and then didn't try again...

Looks like not by my choice, I am fully in a restraining order-induced Plan B now.

It is very scary for me to think that I may never speak again with the man who shared 23 years of my life, especially given the way we left things today. I did write my apology letter (not the one attached to the baby gift) to both STBXH and OW, but since STBX was still at work, I doubt he ever sees or reads it.

And my daughter is spending the night down there--her first since they moved in together. It's scary for me to have her there, and even scarier knowing I can't get ahold of her.

I just drank a cup of warm milk, hoping that between it and the xanax, I can sleep early tonight, since my daughter isn't home.

The officer scheduled to handle my assault charge against OW just called me. I told him to drop it...that it wasn't worth the fighting to pursue it. No one was injured any more than emotionally.

I have done all I can do. Ball is in their court.

LL

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You are far to understanding. I would proabably do the same thing though. Always trying to be the peacemaker. I am really sorry you are going through this.

WHY is your daughter over there? Why are you letting her stay? with your STBX (I doubt by the way) at work? Does she not have school tomorrow?

I suppose I am not helping. You hand in there. THe worst is now over.
Stay strong

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Ah, relief. The dust settles.

{{{{{{LL}}}}}}

GC

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"How often does that kind of thing happen??"

Well, Double L, it happens as often as God feels that we really need some encouragement. (I am assuming you are a Christian from your name. If I am mistaken, please accept my apologies)

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okay LL, i finally get to the end of this post. thoughts and things to say are flying around in my head so i will try to make the best sense i can possibly make. i also want to start off by saying that i am in no way saying that i know what you are going through or that i'm better than you, we are all human and sinners.

so with that being said. you cannot change what has happened, all you can do with God's grace is to change the way you act now. everything that these adulterers do and say is all about them. they are going to use whatever they can to make themselves feel better about what they are doing and use everything can against the BS. again, not saying i'm better then you but that is something i've held onto since i found MB shortly after dday. the fact that i could in no way give my h or the OW, his family or her family any ammunition to use against me and that has guided my actions. as well as the thought that i wanted to be better then them and nowhere sink anywhere to their level (including IL's and OW's family who are supporting what they are doing).

after i found MB and a renewed R w/God i have made it my mission to do things w/grace and dignity. compared to your situation it was probably very easy for me to do this because we don't have kids nor even live in the same state. but i'm talking about things such as notes i've found (even one that suggested killing my dogs because it was an inconvienence to my h when they were going on a trip), i didn't ever tell him i have what i have i just put it in a folder. when i basically figured out in a conversation that he was going on a trip (another one mind you) w/the OW and was going to be introducing the OW to his family. all i did was ask him how he thought this was respectful. i at one time thought that i would fight a D to the day i died no matter how much money it took. i couldn't even stop it due to the no-fault thing but i could slow it down maybe even up to a year. but i decided that it would just make me out to be a bitter woman and again validate my H in doing what he was doing. so i decided not to "fight" it. again, trying to take the high road and be the better person.

i'll relate something that steve harley told me in one of my sessions w/him. we were discussing why my H has not filed for D yet and he's been telling me since may that he was going to file. SH told me that i have removed every reason for my H to act the way that he has. basically i was not giving him any justification and that i was actually making it harder for him to continue what he was doing because of the way that i have been. now i know my H has tried to have my served a couple of weeks ago but because he didn't know my address i didn't receive anything (glad i kept in touch w/my old landlord!). but still that was 5 months after he first said he was going to be filing for a D "soon."

i'll also relate kind of an off the wall example of why we need to remove ourselves from situations that we feel we are vulnerable. i know not every shares the same feelings about alcohol but to me it's still a good example to share. in my faith, we belive that we should not drink alcohol. some people even take it to the extreme and say they cannot even work somewhere if they would be serving or selling alcohol to someone. it is not alcohol that is the problem, it's everything that comes with it. in the new testament there's a situation where some people are in an up roar over whether or not to eat meat that was prepared to serve to idols. well it wasn't the meat that was the problem, it's just meat and because the "gods" that this food was being offered for aren't real it didn't really matter. however, the issue was that if it was a problem for someone (a non-believer or new Christian) to see a Christian/believer eat this meat then it would cause a stumbling block to them. do you get what i'm saying? i mean after all they drank wine in the Bible, even Jesus. But it's the thought (just generalizing here) that certain things go along w/drinking and that it does lower one's inhibitions, hence the best thing to do is to not even put yourself in a vulnerable position by drinking alcohol.

now my point, it is if you know that you cannot control yourself (none of us can without God's help) then don't even put yourself in the position. this goes for all areas of your life but particularly for any interactions w/your H, the OW, etc. like i said i don't pretend to know what you are going through and how difficult this is but this even goes to the heart of the D. by making this (the D) difficult or not easy then you are setting yourself up to be vulnerable even if it's just the way you feel. furthermore, it would cause the WS/OW to act out (become a stumbling block) and as Christians we should not do that. we need to be a blessing to others not a hinderance.

it has been said here before and i'll say it again, that sometimes the best revenge is to live a good life. God wants the best for his children and God has lots of good things waiting for you. and even though we shouldn't have to really concede sometimes that is the best thing to do. we as BS deserve more, deserve better, and should not have to give 50/50 or whatever in cases of D but to we can be the better person and we can do things w/grace that would leave the WS w/better thoughts of us no matter what things have been said and done. that can be your last good actions LL, is to try and make things go more smoothly w/the D. we (BS's) all know that even if the WS/OP get married that only about 5% of them make it. every single one of these WS/OP will have to realize what they have done and have to answer for it. now granted if they don't change in this life then it maybe when they stand before God that this happens. but this is not up to us, the battle is not ours but God's.

i was not the wife that i should have been or the wife that i know God would have wnated me to be. i don't think i was a bad or horrible wife either but i was not a good steward of my marriage and so it was taken away even though i was the one that was faithful. i've realized my shortcomings got back into the Bible and to church and i know that for future R's i will definitely be starting off on a better foot and a lot wiser praise be to God. i do not want a divorce and i refuse to be the one to file because that's exactly what my H wants me to do because that would make it easier on him (for his guilt). but i'm not going to fight it. that's not even to say i would never file either. the Bible is clear on what grounds there are for divorce and adultery is the one and only. my concern was that i wanted to make sure i gave God enough time to work a miracle. but since my H will be filing or having me served that is taken out of my hands. i had decided already that i was going to give my H until 1/1/05 to file and if he hadn't i was going to. but my H himself said it would be easier if we could just sit down and go over things and decide who takes what bill, etc. well i told him in all kindness that it would be easier for him.

since there is no way to stop a divorce for me once it is filed i kind of thought that was a sign from God that is what was needed to happen. that's not to say that people don't reconcile after a divorce happens but God has enabled me to have some peace and reflection and now i've pretty much decided i don't want that because i just don't think i would really ever be able to fully trust him again plus all the other obstacles we would have to overcome. not to say that it would be impossible because God can do anything but it's just again to say that God wants the best for his children and now i'm thinking that my H is not the best for me.

you are totally justified in your anger, heck even Jesus got angry and turned over the tables in the temple. but it's how we deal w/the anger or act upon it that matters. so LL consider the cliche about what would Jesus do? always keep that at the fore front of your mind. i don't remember you ever saying that you were in counseling or had tried. i know about the cost of everything that's why i had to stop counseling w/SH because my lawyer charged $200 an hour and something had to give but if you can afford it, try to find a Christian counselor and get into counseling. if you go to family.org which is Dr. James Dobson's focus on the family website there is a section there that will help you find a counselor in your area.

well i better stop typing you are more than welcome to email me at chewey75@hotmail.com and talk some more off the forums. i just want to add one more thing in that i saw your picture as well on the MB photo album and you are gorgeous! what are you talking about? i would have not said anything if i really did not think that way. we all BS lose self-esteem and a sense of our own identity, in fact it pretty much plummits into a pit. but it will get better. i never thought i was ever going to find someone that thought i was attractive even though i've lost almost 50lbs since dday but i know there are some people who do find me attractive and i'll just leave it at that. it will come back to you in time, your H found you attractive at one time. whenever the WS says they don't love us anymore i just kind of smile now because of something that SH told me, he said well the WS didn't love us before they met us either. now granted we do change over time and we may not look the same as we did when we got M. i still weigh about 25lbs more than i did when i got M. but i think you get my point.

hope you stayed w/this to the end and please know you are in our thoughts and continued prayers, God Bless, RR

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{{{{{LL}}}}

I am so sorry that you got in to such an ugly situation. Whatever done is done, you need to get away from something like that hruting you so much. Please treat yourself nicely and start healing. I see that you have a lot of anger. I do too, but I try to let out differently. I will treat myself with trips and enjoy my life.

I saw your picture too. You look so attractive. You even don't have the problem that bothers many people, weight. That is a gift from GOD. Look, I am older than you are, my kids are younger, I am minority, but I never worried that whether I can be attractive to someone else. I know that GOD created me, he loves me, than he will send someone to me. It will just take time for me to adjust to new things. You will too.

{{{{LL}}}

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Noodle,

Your "rule of thumb" is right on the mark in my situation. They are very large and dangerous predators, and I do lack the ability or the willingness to inflict any kind of serious damage. Backing away quickly is no doubt the best plan at this point.

is there no public trans in your area? Unfortunately, no. I live in the 'burbs where the only way to get a bus to come get you is to call and arrange a special pickup. Not even sure they'd pick up from one suburb and take one to another suburb without somehow having to connect through the city's bus system. Cabs--same problem. Her alternative school is out on the edge of the city, surrounded by farmland and industrial businesses. A good thing, because it prevents a desire to skip school and go hang out at the mall or whatever, but bad for transportation.

DS is 18? Surely he could drive her at least some of the time?

He can between December 15th and January 15th, and again after mid-May, but other than that, he's 2 hours away in college. (Although I'll keep the Dec/Jan idea in mind--forgot he'd be home for a month until just now.)

KMEJ,

Why are you letting her stay? with your STBX

Not my choice--scares me. But OW (who doesn't work) was supposed to take her to school this morning, and I don't feel like I can keep her from seeing her father if she wants to. She does spend very little time with him, though I worry that if she starts staying over where there are no rules, she may eventually want to go live there. That'd cause another BIG fight.

IsIt2Late,

Yes, I am a Christian. That's what the name means. (Although I am very ashamed of my actions yesterday--one would have had a hard time seeing my faith through them. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> )

RR,

Condensing your post to me--you are right. I need to act with grace and dignity that is fitting for my faith and not give my STBXH ammunition for what he is doing.

I fell very short of that yesterday. I am trying get back on my feet, dust myself off, and do better going forward.

The restraining order STBXH/OW filed, which I will no doubt hear from the courts on very soon may be a blessing in disguise. Although it hurts me that they would feel the need to do that, it will force me to keep my distance and not let my emotions get the best of me while around them.

LNH,

SO good to hear from you! You are doing so much better now. I know you're going to do fine whatever happens. I knew along you were a strong woman. It's showing now.

As for the pic of me, you are right--weight isn't a problem. But with weight often comes a feminine shape. I don't have that either, and it seems to be very important to men.

However, I need to hold on to my faith, and remember that if God wants me to have someone else in my life, he will being me someone who will accept the way I look.

I just have always been very self-conscious of my looks, and especially my figure, and hearing what I heard from OW hit some very sensitive spots because I figured it came through STBXH's conversations with her.

Thanks all of you for your concern and advice!

LL

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I've missed you and I'm so sorry it's been so sucky for you lately.

((((((((LL))))))))))))

If it's any consolation, I've seen your pic and you are too cute for color TV.....

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{{{{LL}}}} we are all entitled to our little breakdowns,i think ow is trying to bait you, and being human you respond to her in kind.i dont know about ow, she sounds really trashy to me but you are a real lady and very attractive.i dont think i would have dropped the assault charges, this sounds like its going to be one nasty divorce. restraining order? well at least you wont have to deal with these 2 individuals anymore who cause you so much pain.i hope that things get better for you.

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(((((((LL)))))))

Please consider alanon - for you.

I have to admit that I am very thankful and grateful to participate in such a wonderful organization when I read your posts. One of the greatest fruits is to detatch with LOVE. Dealing with an alcoholic is almost too much for any of us without help.

Blessings,

D.

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What I really need is an organization to help me learn to deal with the alcoholic's mistress! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Seriously, WGTT, I know in my mind that Al-Anon would benefit me a lot. Right now, for lack of being able to explain it better--I think I avoid going because if I go, I have to think about the alcoholic. I do better at this point if I don't think about him.

LL

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LL,

I was writing to you more over in the DD thread, but as I was reading this one, I had a "well, duh" moment, and wondered why I didn't tell you this part before. I think it was the idea of dealing with him via certified letter that jogged my brain a little....

Anyway, I definitely had a problem with getting angry atmy XH during the separation and divorce and saying things I shouldn't say. I'm a Christian too, and every time it happened, I felt so bad - in large part because, well, what kind of example was it to my (then) WH, when I was hoping he would find his way back to God and doing the right thing?

Problem is, when you're in the middle of these very emotionally charged situations, it can be very hard not to react.

And the complete plan B, no contact, while a good idea, is not always completely practical. Certified letter is one good solution, but I handled it a little differently:

1. Went completely to e-mail for direct contact with him. Talking in person, things come out of the mouth sometimes before they can be stopped. With doing e-mail, I never sent the e-mail right away. I would write it, then walk away for a while. And when the subject was especially emotional, I had one of my Christian friends review the e-mail before I sent it.

2. Back to the Christian friends - I leaned on them A LOT! I ended up making it my policy that in any situation where I had to see him in person, I had at least one of my Christian friends with me. He got very angry about this - talked about he didn't appreciate being subjected to my "protection," and he felt I was doing it because I was insinuating that I needed protection from him.

He never got the fact that they were there to protect me from myself. Christians sometimes forget about using this tool - accountability to each other as Christians. Just the presence of other Christians there helped keep me accountable for my actions. It helped me keep my tongue in check. I care what these people think of me. And yes, I care what God thinks too - but it's easy to forget in the heat of the moment that God is listening to us, even when we wish He wasn't! But the physical presence of other Christians.... hard to just push that out of your mind!

I mainly had to use this several times when he came to the house to pick up some belongings. And once when we were meeting to sign some papers. The advantage of this was it kept me in check, actually helped keep him in check too (because he was also a member of our church the whole time we were married, so these were people he knew as well.) They were never anything but friendly and polite to him, which is I think part of the reason he got so mad about it all. He felt guilty - knew that they knew what he was doing and that it was wrong - but since everyone was nice to him, he had no justification for getting angry, and ended up having to surpress it. He would show up looking for a fight, and be denied it. In fact, one of the times, I stayed in the house, and the people there helping me brought the things to the door for him and helped him carry it out, and I didn't see him, mainly because he brought OW with him and I was afraid even with my friends there I wouldn't stay in control.

I'm assuming you belong to a church. Do you have people there you could ask for help? For me, one of the main people I've had helping out with this is one of our elders and his wife. We believe that helping keep the Christians under his care accountable is one of the duties of the elder, so for me, asking him for help was easy - it's sort of the job he signed up for!

I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope so. Friends, as long as they are the right kind of friends that can act in a Christian manner dealing with your STBX, can be invaluable. And a lot cheaper than a lawyer! You can always show appreciation for their help by a dinner invite, or a small present, or whatever....

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> What I really need is an organization to help me learn to deal with the alcoholic's mistress!

Seriously, WGTT, I know in my mind that Al-Anon would benefit me a lot. Right now, for lack of being able to explain it better--I think I avoid going because if I go, I have to think about the alcoholic. I do better at this point if I don't think about him.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LL - Actually in alanon the focus is on you, not the alcoholic. Alanon gives you new tools to use so you don't have to go to the "how to deal with mistress school"

You say you don't want to think about him, but with all that has gone on, is that really working?

What your dealing with is insanity. And it's easy to get sucked in as you have demonstrated. What if instead, the alanon concept of detatch with love was used so that when mistress tried to get into your life you simply told her you wouldn't deal with her it was between you and WH just didn't deal with her. Then find other ways to deal with the situation.

Alanon gives you choices. YOUR choices. Years of living with alanon changes your perspective on life. LL, You have put yourself down on so many of the threads. Do you know how many times that is brought up in alanon. That's why they have the steps. For you to discover your many positive qualities that have been hidden or not apparent to you.

Alanon's are solution oritented & are usually very willing to help each other out.... maybe pick up d from school.... etc. Look for solutions .... they are out there.


I know this may sound harsh, but I've been there (which means I've been to hell but that God that I am back. You life will continue to be insane until YOU do something about it!


(((((((((((((((((((LL)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Blessings,A

D.

<small>[ November 06, 2004, 09:19 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lordslady:
<strong> What I really need is an organization to help me learn to deal with the alcoholic's mistress! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Seriously, WGTT, I know in my mind that Al-Anon would benefit me a lot. Right now, for lack of being able to explain it better--I think I avoid going because if I go, I have to think about the alcoholic. I do better at this point if I don't think about him.

LL </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But the trouble is, I get the feeling you never stop thinking about him - and the anger festers and grows about both the addicts in your life and the one they are trying to help become an addict as well. The rage grows and your world revolves around them and the drama.

The trouble with AlAnon is that the program requires that the one addicted to the addict begin to become sober herself. And what would that do to your world of "It's all his/her/their fault"? What would your world be like if you actually acknowledged that you, yourself are choosing this?

It only works when you work it. TWHALTR!

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I'm aware none of you may believe this, and it's highly possible that I'm just delusional.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

But, I really don't think that much about OW or STBXH until one of them calls me or sends me a text message or someone asks about them.

The texts should cut way down now since STBXH has a different phone #. I have no intentions of calling OW unless it's a dire emergency.

I've sent my ideas for the final decree to my attorney and spent about a $200 phone call on Friday going over the particulars. It will be in my hands as early as Monday for review and in STBXH's later in the week.

If he chooses to sign it and not contest any part of it, our DV could be final as early as the 16th of this month.

But.....

There seem to be those things that cause me to think about him:

1) My mother--manages to ask me almost daily if I've heard anything from STBXH. I finally had enough today--told her, "Mom, there's supposedly a restraining order in the works. I will not call him. He will not be calling me. Quit asking. Okay?? If miracles happen and we somehow end up back together, don't you think I'd let you know??!" (And the way he currently is, I don't want to be back together.)

2) Daughter--She is having boyfriend issues and twice in the last couple evenings snuck my cell phone out without my permission. She runs up minutes and I fear is going way over my 100/month text message allowance. She has no job so no way to pay me back. She therefore doesn't care because it's not going to hurt her.

I got angry tonight--she was sleeping and I still couldn't find my phone. Dialed the #--could tell it was shut off. So I woke her. She claimed to not know where it was. I got a flashlight and started scanning her room.

She got really angry and yelled at me to go away. I refused until she gave me the phone, which finally appeared.

I gave her a stern lecture about not taking it without my permission and about not using the text feature.

In returen, I was called a B*TCH and she told me she wanted to go live with STBXH and OW. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

It's things like these that trigger the thoughts that eat at me sometimes.
------------------------------------------------

But in reality, my life is for the most part very calm. The things that keep it stirred up have been initiated by STBXH and OW, and by my daughter. When the happy couple isn't taking jabs at me, and when my daughter isn't in one of her hateful, hurtful moods, life is fairly pleasant.
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And finally, I don't think Al-Anon or any amount of therapy is going to help me with the poor self-image. I've had that since I was very young. And each time I start thinking that maybe I am indeed okay to look at or to be around, someone tends to remind me differently. So it's easier to just believe the worst, and if someone actually sees a little good in me, then that's a bonus.


LL

<small>[ November 07, 2004, 01:42 AM: Message edited by: lordslady ]</small>

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Lordlady -

Please get help for yourself.

Your last post shows exactly what people who have been trying to help you are saying.

No matter what anyone says to you, its "poor me, I'm just butt-ugly, everyone has always said so, so it must be true, I'm just happy to lick the crumbs up off the floor when someone throws them my way."

I've seen your picture, too - my very first thought was "what a lovely-looking woman". But is that all there is? Is your WHOLE sense of self-worth based on what you look like? How much plastic surgery do you think you need before you will feel "good" about yourself. I'm betting you are a candidate who could go on "The Swan" show and still feel rotten about yourself.

Because feeling like you are worth something to the world comes from God. You say you are a Christian, but you won't let God in to love you one tiny little bit. You wallow like a pig in mud in how awful your life is because of H and OW because that's the way you can feel like you have a place in the world - as his victim. Everything that happens to reinforce this makes you feel bad about yourself and drives you further down.

I'm speaking as the daughter of an alcoholic, as the granddaughter of an alcoholic, and as the ex-wife of an alcoholic.

I admire you for trying to get this madness out of your life. I recognize that it is insane and difficult. But your persistant resistance to going to Al-anon against the advice of every other recovered addict/partner of an addict on this board demonstrates that you are still attached to your role as a victim. I see it in your posts - the way you trawled for sympathy with the guy who replaced your mobile phone, the way you posted that exchange on here. I'm being harsh - you won't like reading this, but it's true - part of you revels in the drama.

My own healing started when I realized that I was addicted to drama - it was what I grew up with, what I knew, what was familiar to me, what was normal. Once I realized that, and admitted it, I could start to choose to turn away from drama. Just like an addict has to walk away from the temptation of crack, a drama addict has to choose to walk away from the drama whenever the situation presents itself. You don't "get sucked into it" - you participate in it.

Al-anon will teach you the skills you need to learn to not participate in it. You don't know how because you have not learned how. If you want this to end, you will go to Al-anon where you will learn the skills you need to act differently in these situations. Because the truth is that you will probably have to deal with him for a long time to come, since you have children by him.

Praying for you.
LIR

<small>[ November 07, 2004, 03:17 AM: Message edited by: Lady_In_Red ]</small>

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Daughter--She is having boyfriend issues and twice in the last couple evenings snuck my cell phone out without my permission. She runs up minutes and I fear is going way over my 100/month text message allowance. She has no job so no way to pay me back. She therefore doesn't care because it's not going to hurt her.

She doesn't care because she has no consequences.

Take the battery out of your cell phone when you are not using it ... and keep the battery somewhere separate from the phone.




She got really angry and yelled at me to go away. I refused until she gave me the phone, which finally appeared.

She lied to her Mother...

She yelled at her Mother when she got caught in a lie...

and this was her consequence...


"I gave her a stern lecture"

I'm sure she will now respect you after the "stern lecture"... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />


In returen, I was called a B*TCH and she told me she wanted to go live with STBXH and OW. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Did you pack her bags right there and offer to call her a cab?

THAT would have been more impressive!

You swallow disrespect from your entire family ... because????

Pep

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