Hey all,
I am really concern that my WW is really being used by OM, for free room and board and other goodies, for a week off the ship.
I have found out OM ex-wife ph#. I have thought about calling her and explaining about what has been going on. Problem is now she is OM ex's offcially since Aug. of this year. I don't know if this would do anygood or just end up as a dead end. Being she is his EX's now, i don't know how much she could help or would be willing too. If she told OM i am sure it would get back to WW and WWIII would start between the two of us.
Anyone have a opinion on whether i should entertain this or not?? Could this possibly do anygood??
jets

jets, there are 2 reasons to expose, IMO. The first is a moral obligation to warn someone they are being harmed and the second is to apply pressure to the WS to end the affair. This is why you expose to key people who have influence in the life of the WS.

I don't think that his XW meets any of those criteria. I don't see any valid reason to tell her UNLESS you think it is a lie that they are really divorced. If they are really divorced, I just don't see the point.

Thanks Mel.
As far as i know they are divorced as of Aug. according to WW. Although the new ph book came out a few weeks ago and his and her name where listed together that could mean nothing though.
ok i was just thinking of one last ditched effort to expose this to, in hopes maybe she could help,or puts some pressure on him but if she is already a ex. she probably doesn't really care at this point.
I exposed affair to everyone that knows us, her parents, mine,her brother, mine. There are very few who don't know.
jets

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jets:
<strong>As far as i know they are divorced as of Aug. according to WW.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">According to WW? And guess where she gets her info - even if she isn't lying?

Check the court records.

WAT

Wat,
What if i call OM supposedly ex. and ask her you divorce or not.
OM does live on ship though. At one point in my investigation of my WW cell last summmer i came across his ships number and the ensign or whoever answered said he was left on pass for the day or something. Stupid me should have kept the number at the time.
jets

Jets, I can't remember if OM was already in the divorce process when you found out. You could always call the (ex)her, tell her you ran across THEIR phone number in the book and find out what you need or want to know about OM including ship phone numbers. She may be able to help you in some way, you never know.

I'd keep in mind that even if they are officially divorced this may still be a very painful conversation for her. Are you doing ok, other than all this Jets? Eating right, getting enough rest, taking good care of yourself?? KB

jets, since you got this info about the divorce from your WW, it may be a lie. In that case, it might not hurt to call her up just to verify.

I recommend you check with the court first just to avoid the drama of an unknown interaction with her. This assumes you can identify the proper jurisdiction - easy if you know their addresses.

Down side is that if you find nothing, it could be because you have the wrong jurisdiction or court records haven't been updated or whatever.

If this gets too hard, you could consider calling her, but limit your interaction first to determining if they're divorced:

You: Hi, my name is Mr. Jets and I'm afraid my wife is involved with Mr. OM. My wife claims you're divorced, is this true?

Who knows how she'll respond? See why it's better to check the court records first?

Please realize the possible scenarios:

1. They are actually divorced. End of this part of the story. Thank her for the info and don't bother her again.

2. They are NOT divorced, but your wife knows this and OM's wife does or does not know about the affair. In this case, expose the affair to OM's wife. Be prepared to share solid evidence, otherwise she may not believe you; or she already knows and may indicate if a divorce is underway or she's in crisis like you or on and on and on.

3. They are NOT divorced, but your wife thinks they are and OM's wife knows or doesn't know about the affair. If OM's wife doesn't know, this would be the best outcome for you - expose the pond scum liar to both of them.

Other variations might exist. Think of all of them before you act so you have a plan for whatever happens. For example, they may not be divorced, but its imminent - like next week. Your wife may know the truth, but lies to you. But OM may be lying to her that it's already happened.

Never underestimate the amount of lies being told in an affair - especially between the affairees.

WAT

Mel, i am entertaining this about calling OM wife and just as u put it say it that way to her.
What do i have to lose?
Wat, i know what u are saying by getting my ducks in the row before i proceed with this, but i have know idea where to start to look in the courts to find out if divorce was filed or not.
I have a address and Ph#. I guess call the local divorce court in my town. Would they release that info. to me???
KB- Thanks for asking about me. I am doing ok have lost weight but this was needed and i have started running again, up to 3miles 3 days a week and climbing. I like to consider it good therapy.
Worse times for me are when i am home at night with out my kids there for the week and during the times when i go to bed and wake up. Very lonely empty feeling comes over me. Might seem a little wierd but find myself sometimes talking to myself just to hear another voice i guess. I like to consider i am talking with the dog. Still occs. think about this mess when at work, but trying to not let it distract me from what i have to do. I am trying hard now to not get sucked into WW neediness when OM is not with her. She is cake eating and wanting the best of both worlds. I have been working on the Plan B letter and Chris 123 has been helping but i am having a hard time revise it.
jets