It's been almost 2 weeks since D-Day. Because our son's football team is in the playoffs, I've decided to not bring things to a head yet. Our son's needs to focus on his sport. Not that he doesn't feel something is wrong.

Yesterday, the big game was in a town 5 hours away. There was a charter bus. My WH decided he would come with us. (A no brainer! Why would anybody have to think twice about going to your kid's big game?) So, we sat next to each other on the bus. Especially since I haven't exposed him to everyone yet. Very Weird. Especially when the coach's dad ask WH if he knew what a great woman he was married to?

They won the game and are going to the semi-finals. So, it's another week of lies.

Carol,

That must have been a very painful experience, I am sure. The coach's dad's comment must have made your husband squirm just a little, LOL!!

Question: Why are you intent on telling the kids? We never told ours anything other than we were having problems and were seeing a counselor to help us sort them out.

Certainly they were old enough to "wonder" about infidelity, but we never "lied" to them. We had problems. We were seeing a counselor. Enough said. They accepted that. Gladly.

There are some at MB who feel differently, but I never felt I was living a "lie" by not telling my kids the nitty gritty about what was going on betweent their dad and I. I figured it really was none of their business and the damage it could do to them could be irreparable.

You're still very early in this. Think carefully about who you choose to tell and why. Telling the kids almost surely forces them to "take a side" and with infidelity it is no surprise who's side they'll take. You might feel "supproted" by their reaction, for a time. But then you've created a whole new situation to deal with: the kids' pain. Makes it a lot harder to deal with the problems in the marriage, IMHO.

~ Snow

<small>[ November 21, 2004, 09:01 AM: Message edited by: Snowbelle ]</small>