Thanks, Kayla.

Big pro, and the only pro:

1. This has been my daughter's home for over a decade. HER home is here, and her longstanding friends are here -- and she's in the final push for college. She's doing well, and seems to thrive in a stable environment. She's been seriously messed with by all this, and when she's been messed with, her grades suffer.

Big, big con:

1. I don't have a stable income for signing on for a new place. Moving will be a very big deal for me, and distract me from the time needed to establish some sort of career. I need to do some very serious thinking in the next year about long-term plans.

When D goes to college, there's a potentially bigger move in the offing -- and I need to think about where I'm going and what I'm doing -- not panic and bolt.

There's no point in making two moves (at several thousands of dollars apiece) when one move is guaranteed in a short while.

Ohhhhh...I had to run off quickly. Stepkids came to visit. Now I'm back. Another plus: it's a stable base for stepkids, a place that has been known as "home" to them, and less like the Addams family than their dad's, which has never been their home. This is going to change, I expect, as their circle widens and the move onwards. Another transition in the near-future.

Honestly, people always say "what are you doing for yourself?" Making a home for the kids has been one of the most rewarding things for me, the most personally fulfilling in the last year-and-a-half.

Actually, Kayla, I have an international reputation in my field -- and not as a Mrs. Anything. Alas, it's mostly in cyberspace. If it weren't for the kids, I would have flown the coop ages ago.

But I don't want to uproot my D and her support systems until she's safely on her way. Hard on me like you wouldn't believe -- I'm trying to find ways to insulate myself.

So, in Just J's query, what is peace? Everything is so much in flux, I have no idea where I'll be in five years.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by A.M.Martin:
<strong>At some point a month or two ago, they went crazy with urgency. No idea why. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Uh, any chance there is a baby on the way? Just wondering out loud.

~ Snow

If I were in your shoes, I would not count those people in my life telling me to hurry up with the D as friends.

I expect my friends to come down on me when I'M the one doing something wrong, but if I'm not, they better be on my side. And I am the same way with them.

Nothing says you have to work at the same speed as your H on a divorce.

Very much doubt it. She has several adult children (one seriously unstable) -- though I can't put it past her. She's a nutter. And (as per Kayla's #3 con above) I think I probably would have heard. It would be a really goofy thing to do. I think she's more the abortion type.

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 09:13 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by A.M.Martin:
<strong>
Actually, Kayla, I have an international reputation in my field -- and not as a Mrs. Anything. Alas, it's mostly in cyberspace. If it weren't for the kids, I would have flown the coop ages ago.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ohhh a mystery!

Oh gee. Didn't mean to sound mysterious. I make peanuts, but am in a very visible field.

What? Is Jimmy Carter your H? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ohhhhhh, alright. I'll say it. I am internationally renowned sex goddess.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by A.M.Martin:
<strong> Ohhhhhh, alright. I'll say it. I am internationally renowned sex goddess. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ahhh! So you are married to Jimmy Carter!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by A.M.Martin:
Ohhhhhh, alright. I'll say it. I am internationally renowned sex goddess.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhh! So you are married to Jimmy Carter!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That made me giggle.


By the way....who's Jimmy Carter?

Post X 2.

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 09:44 PM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Binder:
<strong> [QUOTE]
By the way....who's Jimmy Carter? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yea, there are a lot of us wondering the same thing...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> If I were in your shoes, I would not count those people in my life telling me to hurry up with the D as friends.

I expect my friends to come down on me when I'M the one doing something wrong, but if I'm not, they better be on my side. And I am the same way with them.

Nothing says you have to work at the same speed as your H on a divorce. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lost this message in the back-and-forth. You're right, of course. My policy nowadays is to smile, be pleasant, and stay away from most of the people who have been my "friends."

And oh, the wisest folks have told me, vis-a-vis divorce, that it is better to do it right than do it fast.

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

Hmmm. Having seen Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter on TV recently, I would have to say that while I do think Mr. Carter has improved tremendously since he was a peanut farmer, I don't for one minute believe that A.M. is his spouse. They're too, uh, normal for the life that A.M. has been forced to lead for entirely too long.

I have to say, though, that I think it would be very cool to be married to a Nobel Laureate. Particularly the Peace Prize.