Hello,

You have posted to me before when I was cutenothot (changed due to comments from MB), but you may not remember me.

I am struggling and I don't know what to do. My H used to believe for the most part, but now completely rejects anything to do with religion. I've been praying so hard about this, and I saw some progress, but lately not only has he regressed with religious issues, but also with our entire recovery. He used to feel some remorse, but now he is back to being angry and distant. As far as I can tell & figure out, there is no contact, but there are so many friends of his who are encouraging him to leave his M and live a single life. My hope is gone and I'm losing the battle. He insists that I also had an A and if I don't admit it, then we're over. (I didn't, but I did have the start of a EA before I even knew what that was, but I ended it when I started to feel strange feelings.) I asked if we could talk later (I was sick & he was too angry), but I doubt I'll ever hear from him again.

I think I feel worse than if I hadn't tried so hard this past year and opened my heart again after Plan B. I feel like I'm losing my own faith and I will never heal from this.

I guess I'm asking what to do w/ a spouse who suddenly doesn't believe and you feel like you're losing the battle for his soul and you're getting pulled under in the process. Any advice is appreciated...

forgot to mention... I told H about the almost EA

also, I have not expected H to be apologizing all the time or anything like that - I've tried to reach out to him w/ love & forgiveness (there have been a few LBs, I'll admit, but for the most part I have kept tried to be loving and welcoming)

maybe I should back off & just let him be for a few days? we are not living together and I don't want him to seek out OW or someone else for his needs ... thanks