Also realize that it takes time for things to sink in. If you consistently show improvement in yourself and don't allow her babble to discourage you, eventually she will see that you are different; that you have made real changes. She will look at you with new eys.

Just hang in there. Read MB concepts, learn, acknowledge your mistakes to yourself and be patient. It's a marathon race, not a sprint. Don't expect immediate results and don't get discouraged when it seems that nothing is changing. If you make the effort things will change but very gradually.

HATELOVE,
I'm sorry for what you're going through. Please listen to the wise people here!

You said,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> wife said that she will never come back to me no matter what, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't listen to that! I was the WS and there was a time I'm sure I would have said that to my H if he would have let me talk to him.

Your wife is in the throes of a sick addiction. I was there, too.

Do Plan A. Don't hook up with another woman--stay away from bars, etc.

My H and I lived apart for 3 1/2 years and divorced but we are remarried again. Your marriage can survive this!

Hopeful_person

PS by the way the ExOM left his family and moved 600 miles to live near me. It was a disaster. The whole thing is an ugly nightmare as I look back on it. I'm ashamed of it, truly. But just remember your wife is not thinking clear. Be kind, and do a Plan A! Your strength and warmth will shine through.

Edited to add: Wanted to second what Legato said. It is a marathon race! I did a Plan A so to speak on my husband for 16 months before I saw any results at all. (that was all done post-divorce)

<small>[ December 18, 2004, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: hopeful_person ]</small>

Hi All:

Thanks for all the advice thank you so much, And one thing I've done today that I shouldn't is when i was calling my daughters cell phone my wife answer the phone and "Itold her that I miss her so much and I love her" she reply thank you, and gave the phone to my daughter. I think that is a big mistake, I shouldn't said anything like that. Oh well, I hope I didn't create any bad things, but today I picked up my daughter and spend my whole day with her. I miss her so much and we had fun together. Thanks every body for all the advice, Please stay the same keep it up thanks (smile)

TO ALL:

I found a good quote:

It is easy to be independent when you've got money. But to be independent when you haven't got a thing that's the Lord's test.

HL,

Well at least your are seeing it and hopefully the next time you are tempted, you will think before you speak. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> But in case you don't and you start babbling before you realize you have just put your foot in your mouth....try to remember you can always say.... 'oh, who is this? Oh, my W? I thought it was _______. Sorry. Anyways W, while I have you on the phone let's talk business..... ' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Good comeback line that will have her wondering who you meant to say that to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Originally posted by Bryanp:
Hello,

She believes telling you the truth to be controlling behavior on your part? Oh please...
What does she get out of it by telling you the truth? Oh please.....

She is not serious. If you do not have honesty in your relationship and if she continues to refuse to break off contact with the OM then you are simply wasting your time. If the roles were reversed, I think she would be saying the same things as you are saying.

You judge people by their actions and not by their words. Her actions speak volumes. How can you remain in a relationship when your spouse continuously lies to you and only admits the truth when confronted with the proof? Who wants to live a life like that? These are her choices and these will be her consequences. I wish you luck. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BRYANP:

I like what you said about her, Same issue what I am going through and (Baammm!) you hit my situation on this post. Makes me feel good about your post thank you so much. Thank you...