I confessed to my H my affair 3 months ago. The A was 15 months ago and lasted 2 weeks. It was more emotional than physical. (we did not have sex) That doesn't lessen the pain I know but wanted to clarify.

I told my H because I wanted to be completely honest. I didn't have to tell so he knows my coming forward was because of my love for him.

My question is...he does want to work through it and has been determined since day one but doesn't want to go to counseling. He has sought advice from a pastor, but because of finances we can't go. We've called everywhere but there's no way without it pulling us deeper in debt. So has anyone made it through recovery without a counselor? Any advice to offer? We do talk about it-he seems to have better days. I still feel so guilty and have a hard time feeling strong. Just am exhausted emotionally.

If anyone can give me some hope that we to can make it through together without going to counseling please reply.

We're going to God and seeking His will.

Hi mom2threekids,

I can understand the exhaustion and the effort this kind of situation takes, especially at a time when you are feeling terribly guilty and remorseful and your self-esteem is at an all-time low point. Hang in there, I think there is a good chance that you can work through this if you are prepared to be patient, to make and to stick to the necessary changes in your life and to put your H first. If you are severely depressed, think about going on anti-Ds and make sure you look after yourself physically.

I am in a fairly similar situation, but my Dday was almost 6 months ago now. We also haven't been to counselling. I'm not sure yet if we're going to make it, but things seem to be better now than before and so I am hopeful at the moment. There are a lot of great BHs on here who gave us some advice to buy and read Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. I think it has a lot of useful information and is aimed at couples who are trying to work through the situation alone. Also, there is advice for FWWs on the thread that you can search 'WWs need advice on recovering the M'.

Don't lose hope right now, your H needs you to work on this and prove to him that he can trust you again.