I have to admit that I am a bit nervous about New Year's festivities this year...for the first time in 5 years, I am flying solo. I have such great memories of WH and I on New Years...we alternated going out and partying and spending intimate, romantic nights at home each year. This year, we were supposed to be headed out on the town and now I am spending the holiday alone. Don't get me wrong...I will be out celebrating with friends but there is something comforting about having the one you love by yourside to embrace throughout the festivities and kiss at midnight. I know I am emotionally vulnerable with my love bank being empty (in debt actually) and I am scared that the adrenaline of the holiday, my yearning for affection, and being under the influence of alchohol could lead to disaster and more hurt. I know my friends will protect me but then again, some have encouraged me to have that "rebound" so I can move on a bit easier...this has never been my style and I really can't see myself doing this. I don't want a flaky relationship...I want something real, something for the future and I thought I had that with WH. Don't know what I can believe anymore.
Anyways, I am planning out New Year's right now and I am a bit freaked out by it...how did you all handle the stress of spending the holiday without your spouse by yourside? ????
Thanks,
-K
Me: 28 yo FW
Him: 31 yo WH
Married: 3.5 years, together 5
His Affair: Last fall 03 and continues
D-Day: May 22, 2004; he immediately left
Plan A thru Oct, Plan B thru Nov, Plan D, divorce, seems to be underway
