Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141 |
<small>[ December 15, 2004, 11:35 AM: Message edited by: lovemyhubby ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,108 |
LMH,
I am glad that you have made this decision and that you clearly see this is the right thing to do. Yes, you will experience the pain of withdrawal, but the fact that you are asking yourself the right questions shows that you are going in the right direction.
Give yourself time to think about your own questions. Finding those answers is paramount to finding your way back to a happy marriage.
Withdrawal is what it is. It represents change and a sense of loss. But as the gains begin to outweigh what you've "lost" you will soon see that what you gave up is only a speck compared to all that you will gain.
I am sure others will be in to post. Take care.
~ Snow
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141 |
<small>[ December 15, 2004, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: lovemyhubby ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 108 |
Hi LMH. It's been five months for me since NC following a six month EA/PA (EA longer if I'm really being truthful). It's tough, tough, tough, even if you're really motivated. Only last week I crossed out the OM's address, work telephone number, and parent's address from my address book. Really crossed them out - no one can read it. Deleted the e-mail account he used to contact me (still have another seven days to go before it disappears into limbo). Right now I alternate between guilt for what I did and yes, still missing him, or the feelings, or both. But at least the alernations are days apart, not minutes apart. This is after five months of IC and MC and the distractions of three children (one an infant). If you're getting desperate or feeling overwhelmed, give me a post. Hopefully, I can help a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141 |
<small>[ December 15, 2004, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: lovemyhubby ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 108 |
Hi. I don't know how long it takes to get over guilt or shame. I had to internalize it and accept it to a large extent. What I did was part of me, good and bad, I have to accept it without hating myself for it. I guess that's why I chose my name.
Has he tried to contact you? Have you told him in no uncertain terms that you do not want any contact by any means at any time? Can you block e-mail messages from his account? Can you block phone calls from his numbers? You could write the NC letters here. If he still pesters you, then you may want to contact a lawyer to send a "cease and desist" letter.
You sound like you are clear and rational. I envy you that.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 141 |
<small>[ December 15, 2004, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: lovemyhubby ]</small>
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
236
guests, and
72
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,959
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
