Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 261
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 261 |
General question for all WS.
If during all the time post D DAY you said you were in love with OP at what point did you realise that you might not be and what caused you to suddenly feel this way.
<small>[ December 20, 2004, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 261
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 261 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262 |
I waffled between thinking that I loved the OW and that I didn't for a long time. Depended on how my recovery was going and the phase of the moon.
I eventually started into IC where I was apply to deconstruct my affair and determine what it was really about.
You may not really want to hear this, but I eventually concluded that I did love the OW...but not in the way I thought I did. We spent ten years building a relationship before the affair. There was an "attachment" already there. These are much harder to let go of than the chemical induced "in love" I felt.
Complete NO CONTACT eventually cleared my brain of these chemicals and IC helped me get to a point where I didn't miss them. None of this stuff was ever about "love", but more about how the whole affair made me feel about myself.
Low
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 261
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 261 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975 |
It isn't "sudden." He may not want to admit it, but at a very basic level, he knows "the truth".
A WS finally realizes he isn't "in love with her" when he realizes that he is in love with a fantasy, not a person.
I didn't know her, she didn't know me. How could we be "in love"?
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
270
guests, and
91
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,527
Members72,052
| |
Most Online8,273
Aug 17th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
