I want to thank everyone for your support for the past months. My DDAY is today and things have not changed much in the last year.

For the first six months after DDAY my WH would tell me how much he loved me, wanted to be with me and wanted to work on our marriage. But would not end contact with OW. After not seeing her for almost 7 months he broke down and went for several days to be with her. When he came home he started with the I don't want to be married anymore, I want to be single again, I don't love you, never loved you and I think I want a divorce.

Since July he has went to see OW for 2 days every month. She didn't care that I was pregnant or we have other children. She says she doesn't want to hurt the kids but she doesn't want to be hurt either. She seems pretty selfish and heartless to me.

Now I find out that she is probably reading here and she is also posting on the Other Woman site. So I decided not to post much anymore. I really appreciate all the wonderful advice and support.

Just wanted to say that things for the last 2 weeks have gotten so much better. I am working on trying to control my LB's and working on me in general. I think my husband has took notice. He is more affectionate, talks about the future together and we have been getting along so much better. He is looking forward to the new changes that I plan for the future for myself. He is thinking about going to IC and working on himself. I think this is a start for him if he follows through with it.

It's so hard right now. Remembering the past year all the events that has happened. Especially this time last year. Finding out everything about OW. I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if things will work out with my husband and me. But I always have hope.

I love my husband but not my WH. When he is not in his alien mode he is such a wonderful loving husband and father. He is wonderful with the baby. He feeds her and even changes the stinky diapers. I know my husband is addicted. Hopefully one day he will have the strength and desire to break the addiction and work on our marriage. Until then I will do what I NEED to do.

Merry Christmas everyone. If anyone would like to keep in touch with me my email is Tina_k_24@hotmail.com

<small>[ December 26, 2004, 10:57 PM: Message edited by: SadMarylandLady ]</small>

Hi SML, and Merry Christmas!

Although I mostly avoided reading your threads while you were pregnant, because they were so upsetting I still hoped the very best for you, and still do.

I am sorry you feel you must quit posting. It's too bad that stinky OW is reading here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> If she knew how we all felt about OW's who put pregnant women through what you have been through than she wouldn't have the audacity to read here. I'm sure she'll never have the guts to post though! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take care SML and start posting when you feel safe to do so again, or when you need support.

I was unable to post for a long time. I found much support, encouragement, and advice by reading what was being written to others. Many times there were enough similiarities that I didn't have to post about what I needed help with, because someone else was needing help with that particular thing too.

Take care

SML,

Sorry you have to leave. Try posting on MBL. I will try to e-mail you the link. BrambleRose runs that chatroom for the MB ladies. You will find similar support there in a safer environment.

Let us know how else we can help. We have dealt with OWs posting on TOW and MB before ya know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The point is that you keep up your support group. MB can do it here or underground.

One thing is that it is virtually impossible for an OW to keep her trap shut. They are just blabber mouths (part of their M.O.). LOL!!! Knowing that can be helpful at times. If they get brave enough to venture here, don't worry..... LOL!!! There are enough level headed MBers to pick them out and either set them straight (so they are not an OW anymore) or send them back to the TOW pit. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> LOL Orchid

Thanks Weaver!!! Things are going really well lately. I am enjoying our new baby. It's really surprising how much he adores her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> And we are starting to get along really well. I am working on the changes I need to make in myself. And I know he can see some of them.

Just like I know he will not change overnight. I know I cannot totally change overnight. But I will not give up improving on myself. He has been very sweet to me the last week or two. I rarely see the fogged out man that I have been seeing the last 2 months. I see him trying harder to do little things to make me happy. Today he came home with the workout ball that I wanted, gloves (because he though I should have them when I drive his son to school), a newspaper and takeout from one of my fav places. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I am holding off until after the New Year to decide any major decisions about our R.

Who knows what the New Year holds for us..

<small>[ December 26, 2004, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: SadMarylandLady ]</small>

Kloe,
If your reading... How is the baby doing??? How are you recovering?? How are things with you and your hubby???

Hugs

The baby is so wonderful and beautiful. She is 3 weeks old today. I can't remember what life was like before she was born. We love her so much and are enjoying getting to know her and watching her change every day. I've recovered from the birth, I was actually feeling better after the first week or so. My goal is to get back on the treadmill on January 1st. FWH is so good with the baby, he loves her so much.

FWH and are are doing good, although we have yet to address any of our problems. We are slowly reconnecting, although both of us seem hesitant to make the first move. Since we are both off from work right now, we are spending most of our time together. At first he moved into the guest room, but hasn't slept there since we brought the baby home. He even holds me at night, if one of us isn't holding the screaming baby (she is very colicly at night!). He has been keeping busy with projects around the house, right now he is renovating the basement where he keeps all his sports memorablia. I think we are moving in the right direction, we'll just continue to take things one day at a time.

Kloe,
That is wonderful news!!! I am so happy that things seem to be going in the right direction.

Does your baby sleep a lot during the day? Chloe sleeps all the time really. She wakes up about 2am for a bottle and sleeps till around 6 or 7. She is so different than Kyle. He never slept and he also had a touch of colic. I was so stressed for months with him.

Chloe was a month old yesterday. I can't believe it's been a month... She is really changing. She has chubby cheeks and she is starting to smile a little here and there. She is so cute. My husband adores her. He is a big help when he is able to be here. He only could get two weeks off work.

I also am starting my workout. Even though I don't have any pregnancy weight to loss I want to get more fit for the New Year. I want to join and gym and also do some workouts at home.

Things with my WH change daily. One minute he is so sweet and caring. But as soon as he goes back to talking long periods with OW he is back to the butt. I wish he could take his blinders off and see how he changes. He throws out little hints about maybe trying.. Then the next day he will say I never said that. It's frustrating.

His OW is posting on gloryb.com. She is there boasting and bragging about her love for him. Also saying that after the New Year he is leaving me and hopefully all her dreams will come true. My husband said that if she is there doing that stuff she is not the woman he thought she was. But of course he talks to her then the blame comes back to me.

After the New Year I am not sure what will happen. I still love and care about him so much. But I cannot force him to stay with me or try. All I can do is make the changes that I am trying to make within myself. I know it's going to be so hard on me if he does leave. Not just physcially but mentally.