Hello all those that remember me. I think it has been about nine months since I last posted. It has been a wild, wild ride. In my career (military), and my marriage. So, I will attempt to make an update for those that remember me...and for those that dont, you can always go back and read my saga. It plays like the standard...right from the SAA...mess that we all have or are going through.

I have been reading the last two days so many posters on here that are new...and seeing myself and my xWW in there. Many of you making exactly the same mistakes that I did. I think some of that is unavoidable, considering the emotions involved and the feeling that you are the only one to have gone thru this...that your WS is different than every other...that while MB principles are fine for everyone else, well, "you just dont know my WS." Sorry guys and gals...been there, done that.

So, I'll post my update. There are also a few of you I am about to drop in on your threads. I am a true believer, as the vets know, in Plan B!! But there cant be a "B" until you have a great "A." This is a "game" of sorts. There are rules, and there is a "logic" to all of this, even if WAT does have them pegged as aliens. Choose to believe in the program and trust the Lord, and you will go far...with a lot more peace. Choose to think that you are the only one and your sitch is hopeless...and live in turmoil, extend your misery longer than it should have gone on...and maybe even blow your chance of getting what you want.

Oh well, as you can see...Mortarman is never for a loss of words. Update shortly!!!

In His arms.

Hi MM,

Good to hear from you.

An MBer here, anxiously waiting to hear your update. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> We need a good kicking in the proverbial pants every so often....maybe more often than has been happening, eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Aloha,
L.

Hey Orchid,

I have noticed you out there still fighting the good fight.

Yeah, I remember the days when the old vets (those before me...not necessarily "old" in age!!) kicked my proverbial tail also. I find it incumbent on those of us that have made it to the other side, even if the marriage didnt work out, to come here and help knock some sense into those that are fresh into their mess. Unfortunately, the only comfort in "hell" is that there are others there...and have been there. The worse part of this mess is the feeling of being alone.

So, great to hear from you. Since it has been a long time, my update may be rather long. But hey, you are used to that from me, huh?

In His arms.

Anxiously awaiting your update.

You've been missed MM.

Many can use your sage advice.

Hey Mortarman. Yay! Don't know you. Just read your posts for today and between you JustLearning and Lemonman y'all will cut through the BS. I LOVE IT!

I already have a backbone and I fight like a hellion. So bring it on! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

THis will be very intresting.

Hi MM,

I haven't posted to you before but am well aware of your story.We do need some shaping up around here.We have people breaking Plan B's,prolonging Plan A's,sleeping with other's,waffling and floundering around all over the place,it's just CHAOS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> We need to get back to basics here so we await your input.

O

Hey you three...thanks for the "hello."

I am seeing that there is quite a mess around here. I have read posts that say "I am in Plan B" and then in the first paragraph, talk about the myriad of contact they had with the WS that week. About those ready to abandon Plan A after a week because "it isnt working." And October Girl...dont even get me started about those that have taken off on their own affairs. It is definitely time to clean house.

For everyone...one thing I learned thru my ordeal is that while we can all offer love and (((hugs)))...what we really need around here is a plan. And people that will help us stick to the plan. A place to vent...to have people help us see our sitch clearly.

It is funny. I can see it in others...but had a hard time seeing/doing in my sitch. That is the way it is with everyone!! We can give advice...but it is darn hard to see what we should be doing ourselves. Thus, we have each other.

Entirely too much whining around here!! The First Sergeant is back for awhile. The belly aching stops now. It is okay to be upset, to cry...whatever. But at the end of the post...at the end of the day...grab your plan...and move forward.

I come from the military. Sometimes, we dont understand the orders...and cant really see the objective many times because of the "fog" of war. But we still know the direction. We still know our duty. We still know the plan. So, trust those that know more than us. Those that have gone before us. Stick to the mission.

In His arms.

Well, well, well....

A voice from the past speaks again!!

Good to hear from you!

I'm not posting here much anymore....I still lurk some and only very occassionaly do I post.

My D has now been final for 2 weeks.
WH is a mess but still involved in the A.

I am the perfect example of a failed Plan B, over and over again.
I regret that I may have helped my marriage to it's end even while I thought I was fighting to save it with everything I had!

Good intentions are nothing without a solid plan!

Hey remember Mimi? She's around here again too, giving great advice, especially when it comes to PB. She never waivers, always encouraging a solid PB.

Orchid and the rest of the "oldies" can always use a hand!

Anxious to hear how things are going for you!

oop, dupe post!

<small>[ December 31, 2004, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: Shugah ]</small>

I'm looking forward to your update!

I don't think I ever posted to you, but I remember reading your threads.

I agree with Octobergirl, the boards need to get back to the basics--it's the only way to get through the chaos.

Well, HEY there, Mortarman! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yep. I'm still around, though I don't post as often as I used 2 (which was 2uite a lot, so it might still look like I post a lot!).

Also looking forward 2 your news.

best,
-ol' 2long

Hey MM!

Great to see you again! I just got back from R&R (got to spend my 18th anniversary & Christmas with my W and kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

Can't wait to hear your update... my W and I are doing great... We're just both ready finish out this year long deployment... 8 months down and 4 more to go....

Semper Fi,
RIF

Hey,

I am working on the update right now. Hope to be able to post it today.

Shugah, I remember your ordeal. and yes, you did have a problem implementing Plan B. But I wouldnt beat myself up, if I were you. Remember, he left and is still leaving. One thing my pastor said when we were close to the court date was that be prepared...just because there is a divorce doesnt stop God's work. Anything can happen. That is why you still need to sit back and let the dust settle on this before doing anything else. So, hang in there...stay in Plan B. Even though you are divorced. And wait on the Lord. He will lead you thru this.

Mimi, I saw your post to me on TA's thread. After many failed attempts, you finally got the message and did a good Plan B. And as I surmise, things are great now. I know you are a Plan B convert as well as me. Keep passing the good word.

LovingBoundaries, I have looked in on your situation fro mtime to time. Thanks for what you said here.

2Long and Rif...two old vets. Good to hear from you.

Also Rif...my brother just headed back to Afghanistan from two weeks leave. he has another 6 months. Keep your head down over there.

In His arms.

Hey MM,

I am so glad to hear from you. I have posted a few times asking if anyone had heard from you. You seem so much better spririt wise this time around in your posts.

Last time you were seeking employment and it wasn't going well for you. I can tell things have really picked up.

Anyway I am so pleased just to see your name again. It has been an awfully long time. You helped me so much during my tragedy. You are right Plan A and B should be done in the right timing and right circumstances. And best of all M can be saved and be better.

HINY