My WH calls everyday to talk to our d, and he talks briefly with me. I only found out about A on Dec. 2, and he is living with Ow 700 miles away. I have just been soooo angry the past couple of days, and it hurts me SO much to talk to him.

My feelings of betrayl are so intense. I was actually doing a Plan A before I even knew about the affair; he was working out of town for 3 months, and during the time he was gone I realized many things I needed to change about myself and our marriage for when he came home. Then I found out! But hopefully it'll work in my favor. He came home for 6 days for Christmas, and was able to SEE the changes.

But, I feel sick at the thought of talking to him right now. I love him so much, but I also really don't like him at the moment for causing such intense pain, and the pain he will cause our D when we tell her. But if I DON'T talk to him, maybe for a day or two, will that affect my Plan A? Any advice would be so great. Thank you, TTM

AT least WH is calling to talk to his daughter. That's more than most do. Especially my WH.

Give yourself a break. Let your daughter answer the phone. Let her do the conversation. You haven't had much time and are still pretty raw. Probably not LB is the most important thing. Don't talk to him if you don't want to. Just be pleasant when you do.

Thank you. That is what I have been trying to do. The day after DDAY, I found this site, and the Divorce Busters site, and right away stopped the ILY's, and tried to remain upbeat and pleasant when we talked.

But on Thursday, I did a MAJOR backslide; I told him how what he is doing is hurting me so badly, and he is CHOOSING to destroy our family,how I wish I could run away and start living a new fantasy life like he is, that our DD will suffer greatly when she finds out, (she has never even seen us fight! All she knows is mommy and daddy loving each other),and some other things I now realize were a waste of breath. He sat silently and let me go on and on. Now I suspect the OW was right there with him at the time. You can't reason with them in this state of mine. ARRG!

I feel like just going right to Plan B NOW! I can't do it yet, tho. Thank you for your encouragement.