I know this is not a contest, but sometimes it just seems the OW got everything and I have nothing. She had a plan to get my husband, and went out and achieved her goal. No matter whom she hurt. Today is actually her XH d-day. He is such a wonderful man but that wasn't good enough for her she had to go after mine.

I try to tell myself...

She has the beaten down version of my WH. ( he was such a God loving family man, now he drinks, gambles, lies, and estranged from everyone who loves him.)

How can you build a relationship built on lies and secrets.

God will never bless their relationship.

Had to moved thousand of miles away, so they didn't have to face the conseqences of their affair, plus since he didn't had any grounds for DV, it was much easier for him to be a free man in Nevada. Plus, she wanted him far away from me, so we wouldn't work things out.

On d-day he promised he would stand by me and we would work things out. I wish I knew about this website at that time, maybe if I put Plan A into action immediately, I might had a chance. The OW would not leave us alone, he did try to break things off with her, but constantly was harassing us. She made my WH feel guilty that her marriage was over and told him I could never forgive him and they should just start anew because it was God's will.

Maybe if he stayed we could have work things out, she would have less control over him, but the OW knew she had to get him far away from me, so there wouldn't be any chance.

I'm so thankful I finally found this website, you gave me the ability and the confidence to expose the A and I realize I'm not they only one who is going through this and there are people who want to save their marriage despite what their spouse has done. I also know that my relationship with my WH started with love and not lies. I didn't have to play any games or malipulation to get him to love me. He loved me for the beautiful and honest person that I am. Deep down I know he sees the OW for what she is, but right now she is control of him. The only situation I can control is mine.

I have grown so much in this past year. I thought I would die when he left, but I'm still here. I still cry for my marriage and for the man he once was. I'm a survivor and I'm stronger today than a year ago.

Stay strong!!!! You are so right...she did get the beaten down version of your WH. She got a man who would cheat on his wife and leave a family....how much respect can she actually have for him when all is said and done?

You are a survivor!!!!! God bless you!

Hope,

It is so good to read from you tonight!

You are right you know, their relationship is not "blessed", it will not thrive and flourish and bloom. But you will! Yes you will and you will have a great love again, I know it. Maybe not with him or maybe with him, but you will have it!

weaver

edited to add: and actually she did not win, she lost. And what she lost is far greater than what you did, for you have gained in spirit, in character, in love and in blessings!

<small>[ January 06, 2005, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

Hopeless....she is the one who lost. Not now but just wait believe me she lost.

When one door closes another one opens. You still have your honor and intregrity which no one can ever take away from you. In their hearts they know what they did. They will not be happy long.

She got nothing but a cheat and a liar. Period.

At least you can look yourself in the mirror and say you've been true.

(((Hope)))

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
She made my WH feel guilty that her marriage was over and told him I could never forgive him and they should just start anew because it was God's will. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This always makes me want to puke when I hear this crap !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HopelesslyDevoted2:
<strong>
I have grown so much in this past year. I thought I would die when he left, but I'm still here. I still cry for my marriage and for the man he once was. I'm a survivor and I'm stronger today than a year ago. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HopelesslyDevoted2:
<strong> sometimes it just seems the OW got everything and I have nothing. . </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">One other thing. The old saying I find to be so true with WS &OW/OM is :

"Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it".

The OW may have "gotten" what she wanted, but we all know what that is gonna end up being <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . An affair like this can NEVER truly survive as it is rooted in "deceit". YOu can sleep at night knowing this. For the rest of her days she is gonna have that little voice in her head wondering if he is "faithful". If he can do it to you, HE WILL DO IT TO HER. As "foggy" as you think she may be, etc.. most OW/OM deep down inside the recesses of hell in their hearts they know this. I really think they do.

Cheers

LM

Today is one year since D-day. I remember it like it was yesterday. My mind running a mile a minute and my stomach tied up in knots and wanting to vomit. Sometimes I think its only a dream (nightmare) and I will wake up (wiser) and he will be there right by my side.

My WH was forced to tell me about the affair, since the OW left clues around her house so her H would find them. My WH was so scared that the OWH would tell me about the affair before he could.

I miss him terribly, but I have survived. I never thought this would happen to us. I could not ask for a better husband and I thought we had a wonderful marriage. What a blow.

Right now, I'm the enemy. I can deal with that knowing someday he has to snap out of his fog.

My in-laws call me today and told me they love me very, very much. I'm their daughter and always will be and God will take care of me and will bring blessings into my life. They are so proud of me, especially on how well I have handle the situation. They have been such a blessing to me and I'm closer to them now than I ever been before.

I know I have handle this with class and dignity and everyone has told me how strong I am. I have my moments, where I get angry or think the OW has won, but she will never have the man I married, she only has him physically and the person he is now. I had him when he was loving, caring and had a sweet spirit about him. I hope that is how I remember him and not the person he is today.