I have not been able to make contact with the CO for two frickin' days. Either the line is busy or there is no answer. I did call the MPs today as fraternization is supposedly an offense. Well they told me that there was nothing they could do until the ship contacted them to do an investigation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

What a mess! AND I have a phone conversation with both DD and WH. NOw I am both hurt and furious. I go thtis email from WH:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">DD does not want to be there to pick me up. She does not wish to get involved with our dispute, and I would appreiciate it if you did not force her to go with you.

On Saturday, DD has planned to go with L, B, and DDs friend to a friends house to play. On Saturday I will be looking into trying to get a Sax for DD. Friday I have a party to go to. Sunday I have to be working on the desk.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NOw I just talked to DD last night and we planned to go visit SIL with SS and take the dog to a park for a run.

NOW, she is being pulled every which way by this. SO, I have apologised to her for involving her. SHe said she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. I said I would honour her wishes.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I think she is being brainwashed while she is there. NOW I have to get her out of there. ASAP. BUt, I don't want to remove her until I find a place. But, what the HE!! has her father been telling her? WHAT A MESS!

FAA,

Children adapt quicker to good and bad situations. Your daughter is no different. She is having bad association so you should expect her to change her stance some.

Let her know you are praying for her to be a good girl. That you love her and counting the days until u 2 can be together as a family again. She may balk a bit.....it may sadden or even make her angry. Acknowlege this and reassure her of your love.

Let her know she is a smart girl and the turmoil of what your H is doing he is doing not just to either you or her but to all around including God.

Let her know she is not alone in this mess but the 2 of you will survive it together.

Find a good child IC for her to speak with. Her school may need to know so she can have someone there to speak with also.

Is there a close friend or relative she can unload on for a while?

L.

THanks ORchid. Well, she absolutely refuses to go to counselling. I have told her I love her and I would try to keep things away from her. I said we would talk. She doesn't want to. SIgh! THat line is so thin between being honest and involving her. But she hates not knowing things. GGRR! I am between a rock and a hard place. She is a good girl. BUt, I see a few things rearing their ugly head just in the two weeks she has been there. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I have close friends that I am staying with but I don't know if she owuld be comfortable talking to them.

BTW, I had to call WH back because he had said something about a conversation I had with him NY Day <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> that I didn't really feel like going to counselling. ANd he said becasue I exposed the A and wrote letter that he didn't have to honour the agreement that we wrote out. BUt, he still says he will go. He also said that he wants witnesses to our conversations. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

NUts! I so want to smack him again! HArder! THe tone he uses makes me want wo wipe his mouth out with soap and stand him in a corner for the child he has become.

Ok, now here is where you need to realize he is skidding out of control and your best bet w/b to go into the skid instead of fighting it and pulling the opposite way. You getting this?

So agree with him that there needs t/b witnesses....credible witnesses.... expand his request and turn it into your favor. Let him know that a spikey OW is not credible and his idea has some merit so since you (BS) seem to be more sane in this sitch.... that you will find those credible witnesses. If he balks, let him know that his insane acts are already being witnessed so what is there to dispute? After all he did say he wanted witnesses....why would anyone want someone who is not credible?

Reverse babble kicking in....you can keep spinning him at this point..... he is already punchy....so another go around won't change things much.

As for your daughter...know that deep down she loves both her parents. Let her know you are praying that one day your real H and her read dad will come back and really look out for the family's interests.

If you do this, you will be giving your daughter the ammo she needs to help her see where her dad really is or isn't.

L.

{{{{Orchid}}}} THank YOU! Just what I needed. A healthy dose of reality. I did agree that we needed witnesses but I was snippy and then I just started to laugh. Well an almost RB.

BTW he asked where I was staying. I sais with a friend. He said where. I said "I told you".

THis conversation has been going on for about 3 weeks. He keeps asking me. Remember I said that I mentioned to WH I had friends in the same MQs as the OW? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Last time he asked me where I was staying I said the same thing. BUT I added they didn't want to be involved in our drama so I couldn't tell him wehre that was. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> THise are the exact words that the DORK used on me when I couldn't find him and it turned out he was with OW in the MQs <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I will get the reverse babble down. It is the witnesses I am out of. I am just in the process of moving back and the betrayers that he lives with are obviously not ones I would pick. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Witnesses: Let's see that c/b friends, neighbors, doctors, lawyers, work associates, teachers/school counselors, priest/pastor/minister, relatives, even a stranger if need be. Could even be a police officer if you ask for a civil standby. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Keep the comments short as you have been. He will keep asking because you have him wondering. That's a good sign.

L.

Went to see my IC tonight. Gave me a LOT to think about. Wish I could take him with me to VIctoria! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I told him about DDs reactions. ANd he said I need to get her out of there. ASAP!. ANd, he said that I should take her this weekend and do what we had orginally planned and not let WH and the betraying ex-friends dictate what she does.

I am now geting very paranoid. I remember when I asked L on NYs Day, if it was time for WH to move, she said "Oh no! I told WH that he and DD can stay until the school year is over" Now, I am thinking they will try to help WH get custody of DD. AACCCKK! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

FAA,

NOw you need to get ahold of yourself. NO room for panic here. ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Stablize your fears. Take deep cleansing breathes.

Make a plan and implement. Vent here as needed.

L.

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 01:31 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>