Well, after 5 months (well, 10 months after the start of the A, 8 months after being told WH wanted a divorce, and 5 months after his coming home from the deployment), I called the OW's CO and turned them in.

WH had supposedly commited to NC, working to make me trust him and moving back here by the end of the month.

He left on Jan. 5. He's still in Phoenix with OW. She was deployed the an AFB there a few months ago and he stopped by for a visit on his way back to SAT...you know...after they broke up.

He's got a plane ticket to go back to SAT on the 19th.

So, I finally did it.

I called her unit in SAT and spoke with the Captain there and he was very helpful. He immediatley let me know he would deal with it...today. I asked if they could keep to a counseling at this time and see where that led. At first he said he didn't think he could do that since I had already mentioned the fact she had sent a ton of emails over her army account. Then, I explained that my hope was to bring an end to the A, not to ruin a childs future.

I told him that I understand she is a United States soldier and is no doubt good at what she does, but she began this A as a 22 year old girl and still has her whole life to live. I told him that I would like to see the reality of her actions brought to full attention before I proceeded with an official complaint.

He gave me his word it would stay at that level.

Well, about two hours later WH, who hadn't been answering his phone earlier in the day, calls. At first he's all lovey and sweet and telling me how he can't wait to come home. THEN, he asks me if I had a nice talk with the CO.

I didn't miss a beat and said Yes, actually I did and he was very nice.

As you can imagine, WH was NOT a happy camper. All this crap about dragging OW into this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (huh?) and how I am causing so much trouble (not the affair! of course not) and that I have proven I'm just out for revenge and blackmail.

The standard "You've ruined any chance of anything working" was thrown around a few times too.

Then, he tells me that the CO told her they have to do an official investigation now that it has come to their attention but that getting a divorce will help to lessen the situation.

SOOOOOOO, WH wants me to file by Friday or he will.

Now, it's not because he WANTS a divorce. Oh no <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> It's because he can't let her go down for this and it's the only he can help her.

Uh. huh.

He doesn't want the divorce to go through though. Probably. You see, I have weakened his resolve to work on this because he can't trust me...I do crazy things. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

He doesn't want to talk with me because he is so mad.

This may be what finally ends our marriage.

blah blah blah blah blah blah

So, he's going to start a divorce just to help OW/child out. Then he'll stop it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> AGAIN..once she's out of danger.

I asked him if he really thought that would help when it fully came to light that their A started in March, he didn't file for divorce until July, he came home for two months and had the divorce dismissed....THEN moved to SAT and lived with her and is now visiting her in her government supplied hotel room for a few weeks.

I asked how that would make a better case for her.

He says "it just will".

OKAY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So, it sounds like he has no where to stay since I did already tell them he is visiting her right now. I have a feeling she is being advised that having a married man staying in her room isn't the smartest thing to do.

He has no money...in fact she has paid 100. for plane ticket changes.....TWICE in the last ten days. She's having to feed him. She'll have to either pay for a hotel for HIM or send him back to SAT...to the tune of 100...AGAIN.

I've received his last two unemployment checks...although that will probably stop now. I know he's got no money.

What a catch!

Anyway...tangled tangled webs have been woven.

It's all my fault of course. Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Side note here...... to everyone who suggested that I do this a long time ago. You were right. I should have. I feel such a relief having done it. I know part of the reason was anger and part was spite. But more than that, I knew I needed to and finally broke through the fear of it.

Wow! Gotta say this post took my breathe away. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Glad you are still keeping your spirits up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Now that you have stirred the pot enough for the scum to rise to the top again......it w/b more visible and of course it will be 'your fault'. Tell the dork that if he tightens his belt more, his pants won't keep falling down in strange places and then the MPs won't have to go looking for him. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> Tell the dork that if he tightens his belt more, his pants won't keep falling down in strange places and then the MPs won't have to go looking for him. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
L. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid...that made me laugh so loud I almost woke up the baby!

Mama's on the warpath again too. My sweet little ol MIL called to ask me for OW's number. THAT should be a pleasant conversation considering she asked me for OW's last name so she didn't have to speak her first name.

Not sure what MIL's plan is on that, but for HER to get involved...well, I'm glad it's OW and WH and not me.

She was going to pray before she called both WH and OW... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Can't wait to see what comes from that.

Good things!

Congrats. I still clearly remember turning H in to his CO. Had to ask the poor man if I could speak to him outside because..and I quote.."I'm not sure that I can guarantee that I won't faint..or barf..or both..and I don't want to do either in your office." He was convinced that outside suited him just fine <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yarg. It's over and done..one more mile walked..one more hill climbed.

How are you feeling now?

Noodle

Hi Noodle,

I'm feeling tired. That's probably the most overwhelming thing right now.

I feel very good about turning this information over. I'm proud of myself for finding the strength to do something I've known I should have done for a long time.

All the reasons I had were valid...but not enough. I should have done this long ago.

I am a little scared. Things were so good over his last visit. I had decided to leave the convincing to him...but had also begun to hope that he was coming out of his dorkness.

SH had some very interesting insights into WH during the sessions we had over Christmas and New Years and it did give me the strength and understanding to let that little light of hope shine again.

Now, I'm just pissed that he didn't actually go back to SAT so we could be on the way to SOMETHING.

I'm worried that he's going quit.

And I'm mad at myself for even caring.

Other than that...I'm great!!

I've lost another 4 lbs, my kids are with me, I am blessed with great family and friends and I'm heading off to bed to enjoy my new sheets <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi, FIM.

That was a gutsy move. If you were a guy I would slap you on the butt and throw you a 'high five' :-)

For what it's worth, I am very proud of you!

Gimble

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gimble:
<strong> For what it's worth, I am very proud of you!

Gimble </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gimble - It's worth a lot! Thank you!

It would seem I still have an unproven warrior who's butt is about to land back outside my fortress. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by faithinme:
<strong>It would seem I still have an unproven warrior who's butt is about to land back outside my fortress. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And that is exactly where all butts of unproven warriors should be :-)

Gimble

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gimble:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by faithinme:
<strong>It would seem I still have an unproven warrior who's butt is about to land back outside my fortress. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And that is exactly where all butts of unproven warriors should be :-)

Gimble </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So this post leaves me with a picture of mounds of the 'unproven warrior' left outside the fortress..... who while still alive choose to remain with their faces buried in someone elses' azz. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gimble:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by faithinme:
<strong>It would seem I still have an unproven warrior who's butt is about to land back outside my fortress. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And that is exactly where all butts of unproven warriors should be :-)

Gimble </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So this post leaves me with a picture of mounds of the 'unproven warrior' left outside the fortress..... who while still alive choose to remain with their faces buried in someone elses' azz. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's assuming it's not still stuck up their own <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi FIM,

Glad to see you posting. I am very proud of you. It took a lot of courage. You are so strong. I admire you a great deal. I told you in another post on my thread how much you inspire me. You are awesome. And you and your children are in my prayers.

Take care and keep us informed.

((((FIM))))

Suzanne

Suzanne,

Thank you for your kind words and your prayers. We can use all we can get.

I'm off to try and get some sleep again. It's 12:30 here and I have to get the kids up at 6:30 for school.

That's not much beauty sleep.

FIM

{{{FIM}}} HI, Welcome back! You have been my inspiration since I joined. Good for finally reporting the Dork!

I am ahead of you on that part. ICK! But, it had to be done. I got the same reaction. From not only WH but from MIL. It was ALL my fault. I have forcing WH and myself onto social assistance and DD would suffer dearly for MY actions and for being so vindictive.! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I asked MIL when it was WHs turn to face the consequences of his choices. UH DUH! When would she stop enabling the adultery, etc. And why it was my fault for reporting an ILLEGAL action when WH KNEW that if he continued, that I would.

I also used the line that someone MB said to me. FOr WH to blame me for reporting him is like a thief blaming the guards or police for catching him robbing a bank. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Amazing how he couldn't respond to that!

Good on you, FIM. I am off the boards for at least 12 hours as today is my moving to VIctroia day. (well, in a couple of hours as the computer is the last thing I will disconnect. Can we say addicted? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

Finally! Now, I get to Plan A in the same city. And you are my inspiration. Remember to Breathe. (that's what you said to me when I came on her. SO back at you. You saved my life! Thank you!)

Good job, Faith. Now a little bit of reality will enter the fantasy. Just sit back and watch the show.

Faith - YOU ROCK! TOTALLY!

I think about you all the time!

- Kimmy

FIM,
You did good AND you did it when it was the right time for YOU to do it. You had reasons not to do it before you did (thoughts on financial security in the future) and now just wear your teflon suit for all the angry statements he throws at ya!

Good job FIM!!!!

I know how hard it was for you to do that.

I finally bit that bullet the day I intercepted a voice mail from OW to WH (when he supposedly had been having no contact! Right...).

I talked to SH about it that very morning. When I asked if this would be a good time to do this (I was Plan Bing again), SH said yes, send the e-mail to WH's Division Manager, then DUCK!!!!

Of course, WH has "people" at work who apparently tell him if I call, or ask questions, etc. How nice he has people that "watch his back" so he can cheat and lie - and all at work!!!

But, of course, when I talked to the boss, he said "I don't get involved in the personal lives of my employees".

So, that was a dead end for me.

But, like the rest, you have been an inspiration for me here. You're strong, and I really admire that!

Right now, I'm picturing piles of butts with heads up their a$$ laying in a moat outside a fortress!!!!! And I'm LMAO!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

Faith,

I've been looking for your update every day. This was the best. You rock; or, as out 23 year old daughter would say: You da bomb!

Don't help him in any way. I wonder what his mother will say to him. Let him stew in his own juices.

This is such good news!!!

And I agree...you have to do it in YOUR time.

About the D, am I remembering this correctly, but since you've had it dismissed once, you BOTH have to file for it be filed again? I would DEFINITLY wait on this for when it is good for YOU.

And he is lying, lieing, laying with his OW...he has been stringing her along all this time (and you too). I wonder if there is anyway for MIL to let you know what OW says to HER... Ask MIL if she will pass along to OW what WH has been saying to YOU...that should help burst the bubble.
You'd be surprised how many WH tell their OW that there are no more feelings for the BW, there is no SF, and they are just staying for the kids...that is the WS script, and I wouldn't doubt that is what your unproven warrior has been sputtering...

What did SH say to do about a Plan? Plan A, Plan B, Plan F(aithinme)?

I told him that I would like to see the reality of her actions brought to full attention before I proceeded with an official complaint.
It will be brought to her attention whether you file a complaint or not.

Then, he tells me that the CO told her they have to do an official investigation now that it has come to their attention but that getting a divorce will help to lessen the situation.No, it will NOT lessen anything from the military point of view. Anything she has already done wrong is already done.

SOOOOOOO, WH wants me to file by Friday or he will.
That way if YOU file, it’s all your fault.

Now, it's not because he WANTS a divorce. Oh no It's because he can't let her go down for this and it's the only he can help her.
Again, it will NOT help her in any way. In fact, if a divorce is filed now, it will probably hurt her more because she was messing around with a married man and THEN a divorce was filed.

p.s. I am retired military and currently work with the military, so I do know a bit about this.

<small>[ January 13, 2005, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>