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I am so glad to be in such abnormal company! I can't wait to see my MC on Wednesday and let him know he should have more than one scenario for how you should react to D-Day.

I have been LOL and have a big smile on my face reading all of your responses! Thanks for the boost! Keep it up.

I do appreciate the concern of STD's. I know the risk is real. My H tested negative just before I fouhnd out. I had tests anyway.

I'm hoping the "honeymoon" period doesn't end!

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LBelle,

Glad u are STD free at this time.

My FWS "lover" had had 6 partners in 6 months prior to my FWS. And yes, I had major SF with my H at the time of his affair. Much to the disapointment of many people I knew. (and ow). I wore FWS out, No perfornmance for ow. LOL However, it was one of my FWS top needs. Not now but then.

Anyway, I went right in to the ob/gyn and had tests, as I had an IUD. NOT a good thing unless there is monogomy.

Anyway, I dealt with that. Have to agree with Lemonman on this one. Get tested. ASAP.

And, not to hijack this post, but lemonman, are U OK?

Hugs to you LBelle. [Smile]
Love in Christ,
Miss M

[ January 15, 2005, 01:11 AM: Message edited by: Miss M ]

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Where did your MC get his license to practice from?
[Roll Eyes]

Don't insult his intelligence.....maybe you can give him Steve's MB phone #. [Wink]

L.

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Ok - out of all of us here that had sex with our WS's -

How many did so even though their WS was already out of the house and living with the OW/OM ?

Anyone else in my boat?

Since his leaving was such a bomb drop It was just so hard not to.....

Especially since he would say I was so much better at it, cuter, etc. than the OW that he's currently living with.

I know it sounds terrible. It sounds terrible even to me as I type it out. UG!

I would call the OW sometimes and let her know what was going on but she doesn't believe me. My WH would always deny it to her. He even told me "Well of course I'm going to deny it to her."

He would say that they were just roommates and only had sex 1 time and that it was bad.
So we continued to....
But it didn't make sense if they were just roommates then why would he have to deny it to her?? She wouldn't care who he slept with if they were just roommates right?

The day I had so much evidence that they were more than roommates it couldn't be denied any longer he admitted to me that they were together as an intimate couple. As of that day the sex stopped.

Do you think that he is just that committed to her now that he doesn't even try to "be" with me any more?

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quote:
Originally posted by MommyCBaby:
Caren,

That's the one thing he's withheld from me, kissing. GOD, I miss that. But, I'm a tight 35, he cannot resist me when I lay it out there. I walk around the house in tight and or sexy clothes, and every morning when I dry my hair I make sure my bra and panties are irresistable. Everyday he says it won't happen again, and every night we're bumping uglies.

I am woman, hear me roar!! I will not go out without a fight.

[Big Grin] hehe I hear ya.

I do the same thing. When he comes by to pick up our baby for his visitation I conveniently have something on that's a little more flattering than the average.

This morning when he showed up it was :

LOW rise strech jeans ( size 5 - yee ha - no more preg. wt.!)

and a black push up bra with white lace (34D [Big Grin] )

Eat your heart out buddy ! [Razz]

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quote:
Originally posted by Miss M:
And, not to hijack this post, but lemonman, are U OK?

Miss M

Yes, I am doing well [Smile] , thank you for asking. I still lurk here, just don't post that much. I hope the new year is treating you well.

LM

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quote:
Originally posted by TessW.:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by MommyCBaby:
[qb] I do the same thing. When he comes by to pick up our baby for his visitation I conveniently have something on that's a little more flattering than the average.

This morning when he showed up it was :

LOW rise strech jeans ( size 5 - yee ha - no more preg. wt.!)

and a black push up bra with white lace (34D [Big Grin] )

Eat your heart out buddy ! [Razz]

Ya gotta love this post. [Smile] That was a pretty good description Tess.....LOL. Your WH should be eating his heart out [Big Grin]

LM

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Add me to the abnormal list too.

It was very intense for a while and then stopped and he wouldn't touch me at all for some time.
Our IC/MC says its not unusual for it to go that way.

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THANX LEMONMAN [Big Grin]
- Nice to hear with all that's going on


Aussie : guess we're not all that abnormal with as many of us that responded to this thread and your IC/MC saying it's a normal progression. [Wink]


I'm still wondering though if any of you have still been intimate with your WS even though they were living with the OW / OM ?

Am I the only one ??

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We had SF on Dday, and a lot right after. I think I was trying to 're-claim' him for my own. Re the STD issue: My FWH did not use protection w/the OW. I asked him right out. And I was outraged. How could he put me at risk like that? Well, she told him she wasn't sleeping w/anyone else. Hello!? She was M, having sex w/her H. This was NOT her first EMR. So, I took myself to the GYN, got tested, asked specifically for every test, HIV, syphillis, gonorrhea, chlamydia. Now there's a nice memory. This is the same GYN who delivered our kids. Fortunately, all tests were negative. I also had him get tested.

I think whatever you do is 'normal'. What is 'normal' about any of this? Did any of us ever think we were ever going to b reading SAA?

-------------------------------
me-50 FWH-44 M-20 yrs

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Had almost immediate and very intense SF afer DDay. That was four years ago - almost five now! Our sex life remains awesome - not as intense as those early days - but man....pretty darn great.

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Man, I would LOVE to be "abnormal"! I don't think I would be capable of having sex with WW during the A, but now that the OM is out of the picture and has been since 4-03, I certainly could and would in a heart beat!! I have even told her that regardless of anything else we are still married and it would not be immoral or anything, just fun [Big Grin]


CJ

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I'm another "Abnormal" woman! [Big Grin]

We had sex just a few days after d-d and it was very intense!
Our sexlife is still awesome and it's been 4 years since d-d now.

Has your therapist experienced an affair herself?? If not and if she isn't a BS, she doesn't have a clue what she is talking about.
I would of said the same thing before I experienced it myself. I would of said that
I "couldn't/wouldn't of even thought about sex!

But boy is that different when you experience it yourself.

Even if it doesn't happen all the time, I'd say from what I have read here in MBers that a great deal of BS do tend to desire sex after d-d.

bb

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Intruder800 - I'm with you there on the it's ok since we're still married and not immorral.

I refuse to even think about even a simple dinner date as long as the divorce is not final (2 1/2 months left). That's just not me. I'm faithful to the core and don't intend to change now.

I guess other than the fact I still love the jerk that that's why I'm still interested in being with him. (Even though it kills me he's living with her and to him it's "just sex.")

I will not be with him w/out protection. That's just stupid. Even though it sort of kills the sensation for the guy it's his own fault.

Sorry is this TMI ?
Well, we all know it's true right?

I'm wondering if I'm cheapening myself though because he is already living with this OW. I mean some of you are still living with your WS so it seems normal, but me? I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a fool.

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shellybird had a good point about the mental picture. That could get in the way even if I didn't want it to. I mean, those mental "pictures" hurt SO deep, they cause me SO much pain and anger I have at times felt homicidal and suicidal. Try to "maintain" with those feeling in your head [Mad]

[ January 15, 2005, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: Intruder800 ]

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It is nice to be abnormal!

I had SF 24 hours after D-day.

Guess what? Even though my wife was WW she also became hyper-sexual and wanted SF minutes after discovery. I felt repulsion at that time---- very intense repulsion. However 24 hours later had developed a severe case of sperm competition complicated by performance anxiety due to movies and flashes during SF.

It was very strange to have SF while being so angry about the A. For a guy is nothing but sperm competition. Not sure how women describe it, but there was a natural drive to have SF.

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Talk about your "Hot topic!" this one is getting a ton of response [Big Grin]

TessW. --
quote:
I refuse to even think about even a simple dinner date as long as the divorce is not final (2 1/2 months left). That's just not me. I'm faithful to the core and don't intend to change now.

Ditto here, but after going into my second year, well, it's makin me crazy!!

quote:
I'm wondering if I'm cheapening myself though because he is already living with this OW. I mean some of you are still living with your WS so it seems normal, but me? I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a fool.
What's "normal"? I said in one of my posts in this thread that I wouldn't during the affair. But, I guarantee you if she came on to me during the A, well, forget it. Protection and go for it [Wink] I miss her SO bad. I shouldn't even be in this thread, all you folks gettin your SF are making me very jealous [Frown]

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quote:
Originally posted by Intruder800:
shellybird had a good point about the mental picture. That could get in the way even if I didn't want it to. I mean, those mental "pictures" hurt SO deep, they cause me SO much pain and anger I have at times felt homocidal and suicidal. Try to "maintain" with those feeling in your head [Mad]

I can't remember who it was but someone on the MB suggested picturing a big red stop sign when those images come into your head.

I tried it because I was falling apart picturing my husband having sex with the sleazecow he's living with. You know what? It actually works!

Please try it.

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Tess-- I certainly will. Those thoughts (even after 14-15 months) launch some of the most intense emotions I have ever felt in my life, by far.

Thanks Tess

[ January 15, 2005, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Intruder800 ]

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[/QUOTE] all you folks gettin your SF are making me very jealous [Frown] [/QB][/QUOTE]


Sorry ! For what it's worth it's been several weeks [Smile]

(I'm feeling very vulnerable posting such personal info. but figured everyone else is so what do I have to lose?)

We got along when he dropped off my son this afternoon and he started to rush out. So I said "You have to RUSH back to the old lady?"

He replies "I have to get the suv back to it's owner." [Roll Eyes]

I can tell my "outfit' had an effect because of his reply and the fact that he said "We'll see." to a toy/SF comment I had made.

Who does he think he is with his "We'll see ...." ?

He could do much worse.

AND IS!

Seriously.

His g/f is Cheryl. You can see her at www.fledfive.com. Go to gallery and click on friends.
Then click on the DAN photo. My husband is the one in the multi-colored shirt and his homely girlfriend is the one hanging on his shoulders.

Also look at the pic titled Marcy & Cheryl.

BLECH. [Razz]

I'm normally not mean but the woman is sleeping with my husband.

And look at the rock on her finger in that pic!

I really hope I don't get stuck paying for half of that stinkin' thing with the whole no-fault divorce marital debt thing....

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