Well first off, I decided to recap my move to Victoria:
I arrived THursday about 3pm and drove straight to WHs residence.
Well, it was way worse than I expected! How is that possible? I thought I had played the worst case scenarios out. I got there and L was there. Chatting away. BLAH BLAH. She was to take her son to the store but kept hanging around I guess as a witness. I went outside for a smoke and who should pull in to the driveway but Ditchpig driving Dork home! Then Dork LAUGHED and smirked at me. I almost lost it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I managed just to say "Another Excellent choice, Dork". I still don't know what Ditchpig looks like. She was in a frickin' car and she didn't get out of it. I found out Saturday though that she has at least 3 other kids. Who live with their father. The first time WH had an affair he had the nerve to say that the woman was just like I used to be before we married. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> This TIME the Ditchpig has the same number of children that I have. But, it sounds more like she is like SS16's unnatural mother. I need to get a PI to find out more about this *****. I am just scared that the Dork is going to get her pregnant!
I told him I was going to pursue a frickin' restraining order against DP. He said that wouldn't work when he had DD12 for a visit. DORK! KNOCK! KNOCK. THat is the IDEA! Sheesh! FOG FOG FOG
He cannot see how damaging his actions are.
Anyway he wouldn't sign the mortgage papers as he needed to take them into work and get a photocopy. AND he handed me a card with a shrinks name on it and brochures for HOW TO GET A DIVORCE WITHOUT GOING TO COURT! I told him I want to go to court. The a$$.
AND then he told me that the padre said no one would believe me about the adultery because I retaliate when people don't agree with me. Yeah and the frickin' point Dork was trying to make was about the flippin' counsellor who refused to see me or "us' as Dork wanted a divorce and I didn't. AND, why would I cooperate with enablers and military personnel who hide behind their “code†to keep things on the low-low?
I also told L that when Dork isn't around, I was responsible for DD12 not her. And that I though her house was toxic to DD12's well-being as they enabled the adultery. She denies ever even seeing
DP. Whatever.
Dork keeps asking where I am staying. I won’t tell him. I always use RB (Thanks, Orchid) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> by repeating back to him the same BS he used when I asked where he was staying. “The people that I am staying with don’t want to get involved in this mess. They have an unlisted number and don’t want me to give it to you†<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I also always tell him I have a few friends that I am staying with and that he can always use the cell number. And, that one of the places I am staying is in the MQs where Ditchpig lives. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
He actually had the frickin' nerve to ask "Why do I have to tell you where I am and you won't tell me?" After my jaw got off the floor, I said because I am not committing adultery you, a$$. AND I answer my phone.
WTF? I so want to hurt him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I know I deserve more than this crap I am being handed. I am just floored. Thank God for my friends here as well as you and my family. I am a mess!
DD12 is turning 13 and she wants to have her friends and family here with her at where I am staying. She does not want the Dork here. She said he could suck rocks! I have asked DS27, DD25 and DS's GF over as well.
I saw the counsellor Friday and she will work with us. But she said Dork is abusing me and he is using inappropriate parenting skills.
The counsellor said that I am trying to excuse WH's inexcusable behaviour. And she is so right. She said there is little to no chance of this marriage being saved as I am the only one that wants to do it. I told her I do understand that. But, I need closure at the very least. But, more than that, I want 2 things. 1) I REALLY want the Dork to realize what he has done and what he has thrown away for a fantasy. 3% is the chance that an adulterous relationship will EVER work. And to pursue this fantasy WH has thrown away a wife who loves him and a daughter who he has almost destroyed and who has learned to trust no one. 2) I want to learn what Huge character flaws I missed so that I will NEVER be in this boat again. If I EVER trust a man again. It will be because he is a good man and not some HUGE lie like WH turned out to be.
The counsellor said that I was OBVIOUSLY a very intelligent, logical woman who loves her husband and who has reasoned and looked at all sides. And that WH was not a logical person at all. She said that he does not realize what he is destroying. Kind of nice to be validated and reassured that I am not a flake.
WH is telling all his military buddies and his bosses and the Padre that I am a vindictive crazy stalking witch. Oh, my actions have NOTHING TO DO with what he has done and nothing to do with what he continues to do. Yeah, right.
But knowing the military they will use his word as a reason to TRY to sweep this under the carpet. Well, I will do everything in my power to not let that happen. I am RIGHT in this. WH needs to be posted off that ship NOW. And that DP needs to be transferred to Halifax! Better yet to the Gulf! Or Afghanistan! (Sorry military people nothing personal. I just need her gone! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I can't talk about DD12. It is too painful to see her struggle. She is starting to blame me because of WH's brainwashing and because I am so hurt and talk about it. She seems to have accepted that he will NEVER come back. WH told her that he doesn't even want to get in a car with me! This was in reference to picking him up on Thursday when I got there. AND he told her there might be a scene so that FORCED her to agree with him that spending time together as a family was not a good idea. DORK! The entire point of the fiasco was to remind WH what a family looks like I had no intention of making a scene but then since he got driven home by Ditchpig, he set it up so no way could that family time happen anyway could it?
I know one thing that I am going to do. I am working out the details now. But, I plan on finding out the stats for complaints about sexual misconduct in the military and what the end results have been. I want to get the stories from the spouses. I doubt very much if I can get any stats from the military. But, I would like to start a support group for women and men in the position that I am in right now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Anyway,longwinded as usual but I needed to get that out.
