Last night, I finished writing on the last page of the journal I start on D-day. Of course, I had to reread bits of it. I was angry, sad and introspective at the same time. While there was a lot of story and data and truth in the journal, a lot of it was basically a rant. I didn't sleep a lot.

Imagine logging in this morning and find a big post about ranting. Then reading the replies that addressed so many of the issues that kept me awake last night. Thinking about how to change me. How do I deal with a fencesitter who just can't give up OW. A WH who acts nice, gives you glimmers of hope and then slithers away. Cherished, your book review should be put on a thread where it can be easily accessed. It's something I want to ponder.

There really is no use ranting. We cannot stay the same. There's only thinking about how to move on. Does WS follow in the wagon behind us? We can make the wagon pretty. We can pad it with soft pillows. We can pull it to exciting destinations. But as inviting as it may be, we can't make WS get into it unless they want to. WS has to want to.

I started a new journal last night. I'm going to try for less rants, more action.

good for you grapegirl. I am glad that post helped you. It started out with a different title however I had a need to change it and delete the original post. Maybe you were part of the reason for it. You never know where God is stepping in. I too was having a very hard night last night, I was was feeling sorry for myself and thinking about all the wrong in my life. I woke up this morning with this feeling of relief over me, and I hugged my three little Tornados (8-4-2) and decided that today will be a good day for me. For my children. THat I am tired of letting my FWH/WH making the decision on what type of day it will be. I commend you at realizing it a lot sooner then me. YOu go on and have a great day now!
KMEJ

I too am tired of limbo and being tossed around. Sometimes, I feel paralyzed with inaction.

I'm not calling and asking WH for anything. If he calls, I'll be pleasant. I will pursue the things I want. I want to finish my degree. I'm going to work hard on my house. Not to please WH who always thinks it's a pit but because in the near future, it may need to go on the market. I know I'll probably still complain but I'm going to try for less and more selectively.